OM45GE - Posted - 01/26/2020:  10:54:17

the third grade students in Mrs. Bumford's Special Needs Class.



It's not what I expected when

Edited by - OM45GE on 01/26/2020 10:54:35

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/26/2020:  12:22:44

I joined that class in 1967, however it was much more
than I expected.

Mrs. Bumford was one of those old

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/26/2020:  13:04:38

bitties that carried around a metal-edged ruler to rap your knuckles.

One day I had enough

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 01/26/2020:  13:18:04

asked my parents to home school me.

Which explains

Bill Rogers - Posted - 01/26/2020:  14:32:43

why I still have trouble with astrophysics.

But I did learn to

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/26/2020:  15:30:19

ten finally as that's all the fingers and thumbs I had.

However I did achieve great success in

OM45GE - Posted - 01/26/2020:  16:59:25

a limited way.

However, I did

Bill Rogers - Posted - 01/26/2020:  17:31:59

find out that earth is not flat.

That gave new meaning to the word

OM45GE - Posted - 01/26/2020:  17:39:18

astonished.

This meant that I didn’t need

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/26/2020:  18:09:52

a parachute on my hikes anymore.

(reprise) ,,,If you stand on a beer bottle in Kansas and look off into the distance

Bill Rogers - Posted - 01/27/2020:  01:03:45

you might see Dorothy and Toto.

But then again, L. Frank Baum

OldBlindGuy - Posted - 01/27/2020:  02:58:59

is sometimes mistaken for L. L. Bean.

I don't think either one has been to Kansas, but

OM45GE - Posted - 01/27/2020:  03:21:35

if they had, they

OldBlindGuy - Posted - 01/27/2020:  03:29:40

quote:

---

Originally posted by OM45GE

if they had, they

---

(yes, please continue)

OM45GE - Posted - 01/27/2020:  03:51:49

Sorry

if they had they would have been impressed by the vistas.

The last time I was in Kansas

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 01/27/2020:  06:12:03

we played Dust in the Wind for 20,000 people.

I stage dived with my tuba

OM45GE - Posted - 01/27/2020:  07:44:29

ended up sending bout a dozen fans to the emergency room.

Thankfully, my tuba was

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/27/2020:  08:47:42

of the soft brass variety so the damage was minimized.

I’ve yet to attend the Doghouse Bass & Tuba Players Competition

Bill Rogers - Posted - 01/27/2020:  10:08:30

which features contests involving tuba and bass versions of “Dueling Banjos.”

This year’s competition includes guest judge Martin Mull, who

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 01/27/2020:  11:21:25

was involved in a fireworks explosion and can only hear frequencies below 300 hz.



He's known to take bribes

Edited by - Peter Vipulis on 01/27/2020 11:22:08

OM45GE - Posted - 01/27/2020:  12:06:32

though so I’m not sure it’s a fair contest.

Martin May disagree, but

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/27/2020:  12:23:04

Mary Hartman is all in.

Never let it be said

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 01/27/2020:  13:56:26

and never let it be said.

Said never let it be and

OM45GE - Posted - 01/27/2020:  14:50:16

never spoke again.

The silence was golden

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/27/2020:  15:27:44

like my muzzled retriever.

My dog has fleas

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 01/27/2020:  15:31:32

that moved on to my prized thoroughbred.

At the track

OM45GE - Posted - 01/27/2020:  17:42:29

the fleas flee on the back of the horse.

They don’t realize

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/27/2020:  17:45:28

that absolutely no one rides for free.

Speaking of free

OM45GE - Posted - 01/27/2020:  18:03:58

, they say the best things in life are free.

If that’s true, why am I

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 01/27/2020:  18:39:41

chained to a fence?

I am the best at my job in

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/27/2020:  18:52:05

at least 5 categories, but my boss considers me a jerk.

He’s so cheap that

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/27/2020:  19:15:56

he takes off his glasses when he's not looking at anything.

I think it makes him

OM45GE - Posted - 01/28/2020:  03:05:14

look silly but I’m pretty sure he doesn’t care what I think.

He calls me

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 01/28/2020:  04:22:09

pizza face when no one is around.

I called human resources

OM45GE - Posted - 01/28/2020:  07:49:20

and they said, “Hey, what can we do for you Pizza Face?”

I knew right then that

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/28/2020:  08:06:55

they were in the boss’s back pocket.

Maybe I should just quit and watch the company go under

OM45GE - Posted - 01/28/2020:  08:34:01

Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection.

That means I’ll probably never see

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 01/28/2020:  08:44:00

another plate of my boss' signature potato salad at the company picnic.

I smiled so broadly

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/28/2020:  09:01:11

at his wife who took a shine to me after a few highballs.

However, my better half

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/28/2020:  10:14:41

was not to keen on their performance.

She actually made me

Bill Rogers - Posted - 01/28/2020:  11:15:23

Take her home forthwith.

Once there, she

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/28/2020:  11:59:15

thrashed me with the cat-o’-nine tails we leave hanging on the bedpost.

S & M is not my thing anymore

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/28/2020:  14:59:25

as Chuck is more into B&D from what they've been saying.

But on a positive point he sure likes

OM45GE - Posted - 01/28/2020:  15:07:54

aglets.

We’re not sure

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/28/2020:  16:14:28

if the rest of the BHO crowd is in his corner on that one.

To wit, no one plays music any better with fluorescent aglets

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/28/2020:  16:46:03

than he does while drinking his Canadian whiskey all the time.



Speaking of real whiskey the hills here are

Edited by - KyBanjo on 01/28/2020 16:46:27

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/28/2020:  16:58:30

alive with music.

They’ve tele-transported the Swiss Alps

OM45GE - Posted - 01/28/2020:  17:09:12

and the von Trapp to the dark side of the moon.

Hopefully they will never again

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/28/2020:  17:39:08

sing “Do, a deer,, a female deer” in my ear ever again.

Just give me a tune with a backbeat