banjoscotty - Posted - 11/21/2015:  11:52:47

an All State Insurance policy.

But even that won't always

OM45GE - Posted - 11/21/2015:  15:38:25

help if you don't file a claim. 

I don't know why

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/21/2015:  15:46:19

my insurance rates keep going up, even though I've never had an accident.

I told them I only cause accidents

OM45GE - Posted - 11/21/2015:  16:19:25

but they said my arrest record was enough to triple my rates. 

I had no choice

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/22/2015:  10:06:43

but to go to Liberty Mutual.

Auto insurance is nothing more than

OM45GE - Posted - 11/22/2015:  14:30:17

the insurance company betting you won't have an accident and you betting that you will. 

Do you really think 

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/22/2015:  14:46:12

I should go to Vegas with that kind of wagering record?- not a chance in Hades.

I just found an old lottery ticket

OM45GE - Posted - 11/22/2015:  15:18:31

it's amazing what you can find in someone else's pocket after you knocked them out. 

I'm definitely feeling 

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/23/2015:  03:25:37

very guilty about that and want to repent.

Wait till the sun shines Nellie and

OM45GE - Posted - 11/23/2015:  03:42:34

then I'm sure we'll be able to find your bra. 

I think it was

Edited by - OM45GE on 11/23/2015 03:43:15

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/23/2015:  06:48:47

left at the last place we parked.

I'm not sure,,maybe it was

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/23/2015:  07:21:41

burned at the feminist protest march on city hall.

It seems they are paying women peanuts

OM45GE - Posted - 11/23/2015:  13:26:41

compared to men for the same work. 

Which would be ok if

Scaggs7 - Posted - 11/23/2015:  15:46:11

I could end up on top

I will never do that again

OM45GE - Posted - 11/23/2015:  18:30:10

ever since the "incident". 

I don't have to tell you

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/23/2015:  18:57:04

that waking up in a jail cell wasn't in my plans told to my high school guidance counsellor.



Ironically,he recommended I become a warden

Edited by - chuckv97 on 11/23/2015 19:00:10

OM45GE - Posted - 11/24/2015:  03:24:31

in a super max prison. 

Maybe he thought

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/24/2015:  04:18:17

that might help me..

Never the less,it was a

OM45GE - Posted - 11/24/2015:  06:48:17

suggestion I decided to ignore.

Unfortunately, it turned out that I

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/24/2015:  06:54:15

ended up in the right place at the wrong end of the stick.

Speaking of sticks,

MWBailey - Posted - 11/24/2015:  07:34:32

my brother-in-law has a telephone pole in an embarrassing place.

We tried to warn him about

OM45GE - Posted - 11/24/2015:  12:29:24

trying to set a new record for pole sitting, but do you think he listened to me?

No, he went

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/25/2015:  13:25:53

to Poland and sat on a Polish street walker for 56 hours.

She thanked him

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/25/2015:  14:03:11

and gave him $200.

Not bad money for

OM45GE - Posted - 11/25/2015:  14:26:45

just sitting around for 2 1/3 days.

He's thinking of

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/25/2015:  16:09:46

hiring an assistant to relieve him.

That being said,,perhaps D,Trump would

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/25/2015:  17:17:54

rank high in the latest polls/poles.

He has more nerve than

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/26/2015:  03:36:36

than a 6 year old baboon.

But his attorney said,"Mr. Trump,,I would advise you to"

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/26/2015:  06:57:26

move to the Arctic Circle where they have ways of dealing with your kind.

Your golden hair

OM45GE - Posted - 11/26/2015:  09:35:47

looks pretty silly to me. 

What are you trying

MWBailey - Posted - 11/26/2015:  19:27:55

to do with your nose so bright, anyway?

Did you know that Santa

OM45GE - Posted - 11/27/2015:  03:24:00

is atnas spelled backwards?

I think it's a sign that

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/27/2015:  06:17:42

Christmas is becoming a thing of the past.

Home invasions via chimneys

OM45GE - Posted - 11/27/2015:  11:34:18

are not only illegal they're politically incorrect. 

It difficult to explain how you ended up

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/27/2015:  12:32:56

in the AC ducts.

The red suit is a dead give away for

OM45GE - Posted - 11/27/2015:  14:06:35

your commie pinko political leanings. 

Mao would have 

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/27/2015:  18:29:22

appointed you chief cook and bottle washer, to wean you off chimney diving.



Rudolf's red nose

Edited by - chuckv97 on 11/27/2015 18:29:51

OM45GE - Posted - 11/28/2015:  00:08:36

should serve as a warning of the dangers of drinking. 

It can make you

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/28/2015:  04:47:15

have a goony brain.

So stick to lemonade or orange juice so

OM45GE - Posted - 11/28/2015:  06:09:31

you avoid the ill effects of booze and get your recommended daily allowance of vitamin C in the bargain. 

Citrus fruits are

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/28/2015:  08:49:27

oranges,lemons,limes,grapefruit,tangerines and the like.

Not to be confused with apples because

OM45GE - Posted - 11/28/2015:  10:07:23

they are not citrus fruit at all. 

They are however,

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/28/2015:  13:35:31

used to make apple cider vinegar ,, a sure fire way to clean out your system, akin to turpentine.



The cattle were lowing in the lane

Edited by - chuckv97 on 11/28/2015 13:36:16

OM45GE - Posted - 11/28/2015:  18:42:28

which thoroughly annoyed all the neighbors trying to sleep. 

They were getting ready to

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/30/2015:  03:24:58

settle down for a long winters nap.

But Santa had other ideas about

OM45GE - Posted - 11/30/2015:  03:33:47

napping when he is in town. 

He thinks 

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/30/2015:  10:48:51

all the children are fast asleep.

But Jason and Matt are down at Sam & Joe's bar just

OM45GE - Posted - 11/30/2015:  11:12:37

having a grand old time drinking and monitoring the web cams they set up back at the house is hopes of catching the fat man in the act.

Won't Santa be surprised when the videos are

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/30/2015:  11:55:15

put up on YouTube , catching him eating milk and cookies that were meant for Matt's children.

The writing on the wall