chuckv97 - Posted - 12/11/2017:  14:07:12

cheeseburger capsules from your neighbo(u)rhood health food store.

I saw Jeff there yesterday

OM45GE - Posted - 12/11/2017:  15:07:48

with grease running down his chin and a glazed look in his eyes.

I tried to ask

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/11/2017:  16:36:21

him how he was feeling but he just mumbled something about having a ester high.

Then he shuffled off to Buffalo

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/11/2017:  17:37:57

to get some chicken wings.

I found out later that only three

J e f f - Posted - 12/11/2017:  17:52:17

people in Port St. Lucie can yodel at the rate of 500 words per minute.

Even more amazing is the fact that

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/11/2017:  18:11:11

no one in Port St. Lucie has ever visited Switzerland.

Many Swiss yodelers, however, become beach bums

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/12/2017:  03:03:29

and railroad tramps like that guy from Calgary.

he can't hold down a job or

OM45GE - Posted - 12/12/2017:  05:21:35

his lunch.

It may be because

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/12/2017:  09:52:06

he’s been infected with “banjo-fever”.

Life has never been the same

OM45GE - Posted - 12/13/2017:  02:52:20

since he first picked up a banjo.

It was love at first

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/14/2017:  06:56:01

breakdown, a sad recurring condition for which he has to take Bella Donna.

Deep in the recesses

OM45GE - Posted - 12/14/2017:  13:37:25

of his mind he knows he took a wrong turn on the road of life.

He's not sure if it was

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/15/2017:  03:37:55

for his own good or not.

But he's still trying to

OM45GE - Posted - 12/15/2017:  04:26:23

make amends by thinking only positive thoughts.

That lasted about 20 seconds when he thought about

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/15/2017:  07:13:18

his girlfriend down on skid row.

He's thinking of dumping her but doesn't want

OM45GE - Posted - 12/15/2017:  07:21:49

know if he’s going to miss all the codependency issues.

He’s become accustomed to

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/15/2017:  08:17:51

her contorted face and her husky voice.

A change of scenery

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/15/2017:  14:12:45

might do wonders for him.

Maybe he would like to look at

OM45GE - Posted - 12/15/2017:  15:07:33

something other than the other trailers in the park.

Of course, maybe he

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/15/2017:  15:19:30

could clean up and procure honest meaningful employment.

His last job, 20 years ago,

OM45GE - Posted - 12/16/2017:  05:51:31

ended badly.

His boss got very upset when he

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/16/2017:  06:58:35

took the company car and went to California.

Then he sold it and tried to

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/16/2017:  07:16:24

get a job at MGM as a stuntman.

When they told him to

OM45GE - Posted - 12/16/2017:  10:58:48

take a long jump off a short pier, he thought it was for an audition tape.

As he went under for the third time, he realized

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/16/2017:  17:05:43

his sordid life flashed before his eyes.

A stoned surfer

OM45GE - Posted - 12/16/2017:  17:54:56

pulled his sorry carcass out of the water at the last moment.

It was truly a

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/16/2017:  19:36:13

life-changing experience.

Turning over a new leaf,

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/17/2017:  03:38:00

and found another worm.

Plant an acorn,watch it grow,then after it

OM45GE - Posted - 12/18/2017:  04:37:43

it’s grown into a magnificent oak tree, you can cut it down for firewood.

Or, you could

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/18/2017:  06:33:55

rent it out to squirrels for a basket of walnuts every month.

Never underestimate a squirrel

OM45GE - Posted - 12/18/2017:  08:53:41

just because he has a mouthful of nuts.

That doesn't mean he's

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/19/2017:  17:39:31

incapable of running up your pant leg and biting your kneecap.



This morning I tuned in to listen to the flea and tick market report

Edited by - chuckv97 on 12/19/2017 17:39:58

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/19/2017:  18:21:29

quote:

---

Originally posted by chuckv97

incapable of running up your pant leg and biting your kneecap.



This morning I tuned in to listen to the flea and tick market report

youtu.be/blihFiUvX0s

 

---

OM45GE - Posted - 12/20/2017:  13:24:06

but found the news so disturbing that I had to shut it off.

I couldn't get what I'd heard out of my mind because

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/20/2017:  19:49:19

of my creepy crawly critter phobia.

My ten pet frogs

kentr - Posted - 12/20/2017:  20:19:00

sure liked those critters.





But just then the round red fly

OM45GE - Posted - 12/21/2017:  02:49:31

landed on the apple pie.

I grabbed the flyswatter and

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/21/2017:  07:55:32

swatted til the cows came home.

So much for apple pie

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/21/2017:  10:48:07

that has been made into an applesauce pie.

I also need to replace the fly swatter because

OM45GE - Posted - 12/22/2017:  03:09:50

in my exuberant swatting, I broke the handle.

That’s not the first

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/22/2017:  03:35:59

time my exuberance got me in trouble.

A few years ago I

OM45GE - Posted - 12/22/2017:  03:49:28

watched the Mart Tyler Moore show and was so inspired by the opening scene that I ran outside and threw my cowboy hat in the air.

Unfortunately, I forgot that I

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/22/2017:  07:27:33

was i Walmart parking lot.

Every one was looking at

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/22/2017:  08:16:19

my pink tam that I knitted myself one lonely ,cold winter night.

It was the time my gal pal went snowmobiling

OM45GE - Posted - 12/22/2017:  11:50:47

with Big Foot and a couple of aliens that I realized it was probably over between the two of us.

After all, if you can’t

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/22/2017:  17:57:27

run with a fast crowd your crackhead girl friend will dump you before you can say “Jack Robinson”.

A person would be better off

OM45GE - Posted - 12/22/2017:  18:36:05

without a friend like that, but that seems to be the types that are attracted to me.

Maybe it’s something

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/22/2017:  21:42:33

about my hairline, but I’ll never be quite certain.

I often make poor decisions

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/23/2017:  03:22:31

when looking for a new girlfriend.

One time I chose one with pigtails,black horn rimmed glasses,buck teeth
and then she showed me