OM45GE - Posted - 03/13/2017:  12:01:20

he started howling like a wolf in heat.

That attracted every

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/13/2017:  13:08:38

waitress in the Pilot truck stop.

They flat wore him out untill he

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/13/2017:  13:18:54

staggered into the showers where scalding hot water resulted in blisters on his nether regions.



"Trucking ain't for sissies", he shouted

Edited by - chuckv97 on 03/13/2017 13:32:06

OM45GE - Posted - 03/13/2017:  13:27:33

and I can take the pain with the best of them.

Then he fell to the shower floor and started whimpering like a 

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/13/2017:  14:10:26

lost kitten.

He said,"Those waitresses sure are rough but

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/13/2017:  14:34:41

with a few months in finishing school they'll be so fist-ikated and refined they'll be asking for raises."



Tips aren't what they used to be

 

Edited by - chuckv97 on 03/13/2017 14:35:01

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/14/2017:  02:55:48

so now we have beef tips.

Be that as it may,we still

OM45GE - Posted - 03/14/2017:  05:08:49

need to reward the folks who serve our meals and drinks when we go out to dine.

Don't blame bad food on them, but

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/14/2017:  07:20:11

they have to make a living too.

Sometimes they just don't

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/14/2017:  07:32:22

have enough dough to bail their boyfriends out of jail.

Lives of poverty

OM45GE - Posted - 03/14/2017:  07:53:11

can still be rewarding.

However, I prefer

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/14/2017:  08:07:45

to remain in the group that has the most money and food.

It sure does help when

OM45GE - Posted - 03/14/2017:  10:23:30

you run a little short if your pals have enough to cover you for a bit.

Unless your "pals" are loan sharks, in which case,

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/14/2017:  11:04:37

they ain't no pals of mine.

I read that somewhere

OM45GE - Posted - 03/14/2017:  11:37:00

over the rainbow, bluebirds fly.

What they're looking for is

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/14/2017:  11:41:48

the pot of gold.

I really don't think

OM45GE - Posted - 03/14/2017:  11:46:47

there's any such thing as a pot of gold, but if they want to keep on looking, it's OK with me.

I'll stay behind with their

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/14/2017:  13:08:02

little bluebirdettes and do some 4 part harmony singing.

My alto is coming along

OM45GE - Posted - 03/14/2017:  14:15:25

nicely thank you very much, but I'm particularly proud of my falsetto.

There's nothing false about it, but

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/14/2017:  16:05:24

I do have a bit of trouble sounding professional.

But I have just enough cash stashed to

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/14/2017:  16:25:18

make it through next Tuesday, so I'll be beatin' the bushes for a gig.

My fiddle player quit

OM45GE - Posted - 03/15/2017:  03:00:51

after we told he had to wear a pink tutu and a tiara. 

He didn't think

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/15/2017:  04:31:26

pink was his color.

He wanted yellow but that was

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/15/2017:  04:41:29

reserved for our bass player, who is a yellow-bellied sapsucker in doghouse circles.

Insults usually get thrown around

OM45GE - Posted - 03/15/2017:  04:41:40

not what the band wanted him to wear.

It's probably for the best that he quit, he 

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/15/2017:  05:08:15

was the only straight one in that gay band..

After that ordeal he went

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/15/2017:  05:16:43

busking at the transgender rest area on Route 66, where a few have been known to get their kicks.

His most requested tune

OM45GE - Posted - 03/15/2017:  05:40:58

is "He Made A Woman Out of Me".

It's not his favorite, but

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/15/2017:  06:59:53

it really turns him on.

He has a gig coming up tonight but

OM45GE - Posted - 03/15/2017:  07:47:24

he hasn't been practicing much and is a bit nervous about playing in front of a crowd.

Of course five people isn't exactly a big crowd, but 

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/15/2017:  07:56:08

Grim Jim has offered him two free drinks to prime his pump,so to speak.

After that ,drinks are

OM45GE - Posted - 03/15/2017:  14:51:19

double the usual price in an effort to squeeze a little profit out of what looks to be another loser night.

A few extra dollars in the till will make Jim a bit less grim, but might also

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/16/2017:  08:26:39

send his long-suffering wife on a shopping spree.

She hasn't bought a new pair of nylons

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/16/2017:  13:32:04

since they started making seamless ones.

She likes the black ones because

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/16/2017:  13:54:52

her very-kohse veins are resembling Rand-McNally these days.

Jim tried hammering them down

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/17/2017:  02:13:04

but that caused bruising and 2 broken bones.

Jim rushed her to the ER but they told him

Forrest - Posted - 03/17/2017:  07:21:21

the veterinarian was 2 blocks down the street. 

Jim was so upset

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/17/2017:  10:33:59

he broke 2 more of her bones.

Then he

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/17/2017:  10:38:37

applied for enrollment in chiropractor college to embark on a new career.

Bonecrackers and their like

OM45GE - Posted - 03/17/2017:  13:05:00

have been a big part of my healthcare program.

I hope I can still

Forrest - Posted - 03/17/2017:  13:40:38

move when I'm 80 after having my spine rearranged like a jigsaw puzzle for years.

I've heard it's even possible to 

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/17/2017:  14:39:07

stand up at that age.

But don't let that get

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/17/2017:  16:38:08

you down; many an octogenerian survives on whisky and geritol.



My rich old senile uncle

Edited by - chuckv97 on 03/17/2017 16:39:00

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/18/2017:  03:14:03

isn't rich anymore but he's still my old senile uncle.

So now I have a rich old senile aunt who will

OM45GE - Posted - 03/18/2017:  03:46:41

leave everything to her cat. 

I'm trying to figure out how 

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/18/2017:  04:21:17

she ripped my uncle off.

Maybe her cat can give

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/18/2017:  08:26:40

me a few bucks now and then for Whiskas and kitty litter that I can get cheaper at Karl's Kut-Rate Kathouse.



Karl also deals in

Edited by - chuckv97 on 03/18/2017 08:27:02

OM45GE - Posted - 03/18/2017:  13:25:42

 medical marijuana. 

He defines "medical" as 

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/18/2017:  16:41:28

"reality intolerance", a new classification at MAT (Mothers Against Tokers) discussion groups.

No one is sure