deadwud - Posted - 05/25/2020:  07:29:09

only took a few minutes,

due to the ludicrous

OM45GE - Posted - 05/25/2020:  07:40:37

plot twist contrived by the Dr. Who writers.

The must think we

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/25/2020:  07:42:45

have bats in our collective belfries.

Speaking of collection

deadwud - Posted - 05/25/2020:  08:53:08

, you wouldn't believe how many toenail clippings I have acquired.



They occupy most of

Edited by - deadwud on 05/25/2020 08:53:35

OM45GE - Posted - 05/25/2020:  12:46:19

the spare bedroom and at least half of the garage.

I have to park

KyBanjo - Posted - 05/25/2020:  13:25:44

at the end of the driveway next to the trash can.

I wouldn't mind but it makes my truck smell like

deadwud - Posted - 05/25/2020:  13:44:39

Gary Busey's morning breath.

The odor is comparable

OM45GE - Posted - 05/25/2020:  15:15:45

aromas that I don't want to admit to being familiar with.

For example,

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/25/2020:  15:42:42

my last galpal smelled like fish.

She attracted alley cats

OM45GE - Posted - 05/25/2020:  16:32:08

who spent the night yowling outside our bedroom window.

It made it difficult for me to

deadwud - Posted - 05/25/2020:  16:38:54

perform at my usual level of excellence.

She blamed herself, but I told her

OM45GE - Posted - 05/25/2020:  16:46:00

, "It's not you dear, it's me."

She had heard this many times and didn't

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/25/2020:  16:48:55

think she could stomach it again from me.

So she reached

OM45GE - Posted - 05/25/2020:  16:50:09

into her nightstand drawer and grabbed the fur-lined handcuffs she kept there.

I didn't see

KyBanjo - Posted - 05/25/2020:  17:59:09

what was coming next.

She then proceeded to

deadwud - Posted - 05/25/2020:  18:34:27

hold them over her eyes like glasses.

I was unsure why

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/25/2020:  18:37:52

her mental state had deteriorated to such a degree.

Her meds must be

OM45GE - Posted - 05/26/2020:  06:28:57

losing their effectiveness.

Either that or she's

KyBanjo - Posted - 05/26/2020:  13:36:43

acting out a fantasy.

Turns out it

deadwud - Posted - 05/26/2020:  14:56:28

drastically improved her appearance.

I could no longer see

OM45GE - Posted - 05/26/2020:  16:26:25

clearly because she had replaced my glasses with welding goggles.

It was pleasant in a way, but

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/26/2020:  17:55:38

it made it hard to read banjo tab.

My ten years at welding school

OM45GE - Posted - 05/27/2020:  16:51:13

really paid off when I was building a T-Bucket street rod.

Unfortunately, I don't know how

KyBanjo - Posted - 05/28/2020:  12:20:49

to really drive such a creature.

I have just used my old skateboard since

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/28/2020:  12:44:03

my Pop tried to give me driving lessons and started yelling at the top of his lungs.

I still live in the basement

OldBlindGuy - Posted - 05/28/2020:  13:56:55

of an abandoned warehouse.

It was a Civil Defense shelter in the '50s, so it is stocked with

KyBanjo - Posted - 05/28/2020:  16:25:08

all sorts of stuff left over from the cold war era.

I was looking around and I finally found a

OM45GE - Posted - 05/29/2020:  05:28:16

chocolate donut that I had misplaced several months ago.

I poured a glass of milk and

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/29/2020:  08:34:53

the sour curds made me barf.

Someday I’ll get a cow

OM45GE - Posted - 05/29/2020:  17:22:21

but I’ll have to keep her in the garage.

That’s because

deadwud - Posted - 05/30/2020:  12:49:57

my wife won't let her in the house.

Despite my pleas, she

KyBanjo - Posted - 05/30/2020:  13:28:23

just wont allow it no matter what I say.

For some reason she is actually jealous

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/30/2020:  14:22:18

of the udders.

She needn’t worry though

deadwud - Posted - 05/30/2020:  17:07:53

, because all 4 of hers are equally impressive.

The only difference is

KyBanjo - Posted - 05/30/2020:  17:33:31

they don't tend to sag as much.

It must be because

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/30/2020:  18:10:24

of the 20 mm wire in her bra.

I use wire cutters

OM45GE - Posted - 05/31/2020:  08:15:08

very carefully when I'm anywhere near her.

The consequences

KyBanjo - Posted - 06/01/2020:  07:11:18

are greater than one may think.

I tried once more today but three jumped out leaving the other to

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/01/2020:  07:41:21

languish without attention.



Speaking of language

Edited by - chuckv97 on 06/01/2020 07:41:51

deadwud - Posted - 06/01/2020:  08:04:23

, the cow only understands Dutch.

I think she was

OM45GE - Posted - 06/01/2020:  14:41:38

originally employed in an Edam cheese factory.

Whenever I open

KyBanjo - Posted - 06/01/2020:  15:11:15

the barn door she tends to get really excited.

I think she knows

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/01/2020:  16:52:15

I’m about to fondle her teats while milking her.

She often kicks over the milk pail

OM45GE - Posted - 06/02/2020:  03:15:39

apparently hoping the milking will last longer.

It’s no use crying over

KyBanjo - Posted - 06/03/2020:  08:39:57

spilled milk as the old saying goes.

One thing that might help

OM45GE - Posted - 06/04/2020:  03:16:51

is a visit to the Museum of Science.

They have

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/04/2020:  06:49:32

a copy of Dr. Subversoff’s Manual of Torture Techniques.

His 1926 edition

KyBanjo - Posted - 06/04/2020:  08:31:17

was a best seller for the times.

However his 1930 revision

OM45GE - Posted - 06/04/2020:  14:41:28

sold very few copies which are now collector items.

One recently