chuckv97 - Posted - 04/02/2014:  09:23:02

big and flowery,even Minnie Pearl wouldn't have worn them.

Your wife should leave the price tag

OM45GE - Posted - 04/02/2014:  13:15:46

on just to annoy people.

The question is,

BigMonFan - Posted - 04/02/2014:  14:03:38

who's on first?

No wait, that's

OM45GE - Posted - 04/02/2014:  16:44:13

another skit entirely.

Speaking of skits,

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/02/2014:  17:15:00

the Vikings conquered Scotland and made the Scots wear ski(r)ts.

Golfing with skirts

Edited by - chuckv97 on 04/02/2014 17:15:35

Scaggs7 - Posted - 04/02/2014:  19:51:24

makes for a good date

the rain won't stop

OM45GE - Posted - 04/03/2014:  02:41:12

just because you tell it to.

You really have to

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/03/2014:  08:20:58

recruit some Natives to do an anti-rain dance.

Before dusk is the best

OM45GE - Posted - 04/03/2014:  09:41:29

time for the dance.

But even then, it's

RandyZ - Posted - 04/03/2014:  12:57:26

useless because the medicine man has the Raindance stand rented until 11pm.

I remember doing a rain dance once, and a storm kicked up, with.....

OM45GE - Posted - 04/03/2014:  13:08:26

thunder an lightning and torrential downpours.

It lasted

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/03/2014:  13:20:55

until Tonto showed up .

He said white men can't

OM45GE - Posted - 04/03/2014:  13:38:13

dance.

And they sure as hell shouldn't

RandyZ - Posted - 04/03/2014:  14:14:05

Try n play basketball neither!

After the storm and its searing winds passed....

OM45GE - Posted - 04/04/2014:  03:18:44

a relative calm settled over the land.

However, things soon

BigMonFan - Posted - 04/04/2014:  05:54:43

were back to normal.

The thermometer read 98.6

OM45GE - Posted - 04/04/2014:  06:00:57

and the relative humidity was comfortable.

We decided to

RandyZ - Posted - 04/04/2014:  07:19:08

go into the hydrgothermograph business.

the first thing we needed to do was....

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/04/2014:  07:32:18

get a dictionary to figure out what hydrgothermograph was.

Then the bank manager

Edited by - chuckv97 on 04/04/2014 07:32:47

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/04/2014:  08:52:45

began his quest of managing the bank.

He began a program of

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/04/2014:  10:02:33

shooting anybody named "Blackie" ,and asking questions later.

An alcoholic came in asking for a withdrawal

BigMonFan - Posted - 04/04/2014:  11:30:48

from his checks and balances and was told they were out of order at this time and could he come back tomorrow.

Some days it doesn't pay

OM45GE - Posted - 04/04/2014:  11:51:20

to be respectable.

Just the other day

Scaggs7 - Posted - 04/04/2014:  16:01:35

was the day before yesterday

when I go out west I'm goina

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/04/2014:  16:24:32

ride the old Chisholm Trail.

Rattlesnakes be damned

BigMonFan - Posted - 04/04/2014:  17:10:01

tasty if they're fixed right.

The best way I know to fix 'em

Scaggs7 - Posted - 04/04/2014:  18:45:49

is leave them on the rocks

my new banjo sounds like

OM45GE - Posted - 04/04/2014:  18:53:07

The old one only

BigMonFan - Posted - 04/04/2014:  19:01:46

the new one has a shinier tone to it.

Does your tail piece

Scaggs7 - Posted - 04/04/2014:  19:12:50

fit your bikini like it did when you were 20yrs

I know you won't believe this but I just

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/04/2014:  21:09:42

ran into my old high school sweetheart downtown today.

She escaped with

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/05/2014:  03:55:41

her husband and 3 grandkids.

I heard a noise,looked up and what

BigMonFan - Posted - 04/05/2014:  05:50:25

looked like my car was being pushed over the side of a tall building by a rather homely looking old heifer accompanied by some old snaggle toothed geezer and both of them were being assisted somewhat by three snot-nosed-raggedy-ast rug rats.

Needless to say

OM45GE - Posted - 04/05/2014:  07:04:58

I had been drinking heavily. 

But that doesn't mean I 

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/05/2014:  08:40:48

won't be parking there anymore.

These parking bylaws

BigMonFan - Posted - 04/05/2014:  09:42:30

are dumber than my in-laws.

My mother-in-law is so dumb she thinks

Scaggs7 - Posted - 04/05/2014:  13:51:48

I married her daughter

the man next door

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/06/2014:  04:33:58

wants to borrow my garage because his is full of junk.

Never ask a woman if she

BigMonFan - Posted - 04/06/2014:  06:17:47

has been putting on weight.

Instead, tell them

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/06/2014:  06:48:26

they look just lovely and you like it.

That usually works unless

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/06/2014:  07:24:34

they decide to sit on your lap.

Then the creaking starts

Scaggs7 - Posted - 04/06/2014:  07:27:23

and the chair falls in the floor

my boat just got

BigMonFan - Posted - 04/06/2014:  07:30:08

stuck in the mud.

I knew when I

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/06/2014:  08:03:23

drained the pond I'd have trouble.

Those doggone

Scaggs7 - Posted - 04/06/2014:  19:24:22

mud dogs bark too loud and then I can't sleep

when I was young I

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/07/2014:  02:41:38

wasn't as old as I am now.

keep on the sunny side and you'll

OM45GE - Posted - 04/07/2014:  03:24:58

need to buy more sunblock.

There are ways to

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/07/2014:  05:38:42

make people talk.

A photo of Keith Richards

OM45GE - Posted - 04/07/2014:  08:10:51

is a sure conversation starter.

Especially hanging in a