OM45GE - Posted - 04/16/2022:  10:11:34

two burly police officers she fainted dead away.

When she came to

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/16/2022:  11:30:44

they grilled her for 3 hours.

It seems 23 Chryslers in town were

OM45GE - Posted - 04/16/2022:  14:05:57

vandalized using what appeared to be a unique shade of lipstick.

They wanted to

Edited by - OM45GE on 04/16/2022 14:06:50

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/16/2022:  17:07:48

eat lunch at the local Drive-In restaurant but there was not enough room to park.

They were limited

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/16/2022:  17:58:01

to a blue plate special at Jimmy’s Lunch.

Jimmy buys his

OM45GE - Posted - 04/16/2022:  18:41:24

steaks from the local harness racing track.

He doesn’t mind

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/17/2022:  04:14:22

charging an arm and leg for his advertised “premium grade, locally sourced meat”.

Sometimes he

OM45GE - Posted - 04/17/2022:  04:34:23

serves it as a Filly Cheese Steak.

His sense

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/17/2022:  06:08:01

of smell was destroyed by cocaine, Covid, and agent orange.

But he

OM45GE - Posted - 04/17/2022:  09:24:59

he still thinks it’s working just fine.

As a result, he over seasons

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/17/2022:  10:11:36

his hash plates.

His clientele is made up of

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/17/2022:  11:31:34

both of his daily lunch customers neither of who can smell.

They do however smell

OM45GE - Posted - 04/17/2022:  18:13:02

pretty badly of rank body odor.

It’s so bad that

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/17/2022:  18:25:52

Jimmy’s wife sprayed them with RAID.

They were last seen

OM45GE - Posted - 04/18/2022:  04:02:47

shriveled up in the corner with their legs waving weakly in the air.

It was amazing how quickly

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/18/2022:  07:49:31

RAID Fast Action Pest Killer works.

Alternate uses for RAID

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/18/2022:  08:09:12

are removing tobacco stains from spittoons.

Nowadays, spittoons are

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/18/2022:  16:40:34

considered antiques with little value other than collectibles. 

 

It's interesting 

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 04/18/2022 16:44:42

OM45GE - Posted - 04/18/2022:  18:13:31

to think what modern DNA analysts could do with a well used spittoon.

I wonder if they

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/18/2022:  19:48:44

reside in underground laboratories where they’re analyzed by eggheads.

Tobacco has been known

OM45GE - Posted - 04/19/2022:  04:32:59

to enrich large conglomerates and their executives at the cost of millions of people sickened and killed.

You have to wonder

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/19/2022:  06:32:07

if Aliens had a hand in the development of modern society and if they smoke cigarettes.

Sometimes

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/19/2022:  08:02:07

I smell Camel smoke and get giddy thinking about my days as a slave to cigarettes.

Mike Bossy died of lung cancer

reinonlein - Posted - 04/19/2022:  13:27:24

while wearing a aluminium anti-alien hat.

Funny actually, how things

OM45GE - Posted - 04/20/2022:  03:42:08

seem to repeat themselves.

Funny actually, how things

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/20/2022:  06:02:43

seem to repeat themselves and soon the situation gets out of hand.



Sometimes it’s important

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 04/20/2022 06:02:55

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/20/2022:  07:24:11

to hand over your car keys to someone less inebriated.

I remember driving

OM45GE - Posted - 04/20/2022:  17:36:53

home so drunk that I drove to the wrong home.

I crawled into bed and

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/21/2022:  06:10:11

there was my wife so I figured I had made it safely home.

The next morning

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/21/2022:  06:40:38

we went to the law office of Dewey, Cheathum, and Howe.

Dewey told us

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/21/2022:  15:16:26

to cheat ‘em and how.

So now

OM45GE - Posted - 04/22/2022:  03:15:56

we’re trying to figure out how.

It’s not as easy

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/22/2022:  04:07:16

as it might seem at the onset, considering the circumstances.

Which raises the question

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/22/2022:  08:35:39

,”Why did Lloyd Bridges inhale laughing gas?”

I’m told that

OM45GE - Posted - 04/23/2022:  13:56:05

was what he was hunting for in the sea.

It’s possible that

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/23/2022:  14:21:55

his tanks were sabotaged by menacing whalers.

He changed his name to Mike Nelson

OM45GE - Posted - 04/23/2022:  16:46:05

and posed as the long lost brother of Ricky.

That turned out

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/23/2022:  17:16:38

to be a pretty good gig until he volunteered to fly Ricky’s airplane.

Eventually it came out that Ozzie

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/23/2022:  18:09:24

disowned Lloyd/Mike and forever after refused to watch Sea Hunt.

Beau and Jeff

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/24/2022:  09:25:50

joined Sam’s Club shopping warehouse because of the good deals offered on canned tuna.

Eventually it was discovered that Ozzie Osborne

OM45GE - Posted - 04/25/2022:  03:49:05

was a direct descendant of Albert Einstein and was his equal intellectually.

His stage persona was

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/25/2022:  06:06:50

a ruse to win over stoned fans.

Sharon handled the finances

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/25/2022:  08:41:22

while Ozzie rode the Crazy Train and Barked at the Moon.

Currently

OM45GE - Posted - 04/25/2022:  17:37:18

they are working on new ideas for reality TV shows to further enhance their revenue stream.

One they’ve proposed is

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/25/2022:  19:14:29

“Ozzie Goes Bluegrass”.

He’ll sing duets with Billy Strings

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/25/2022:  19:18:51

featuring guest appearances by Pee-wee Herman and Miss Yvonne.



It’s possible

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 04/25/2022 19:20:54

OM45GE - Posted - 04/26/2022:  03:30:23

that this could be more popular than one would think.

After all, there are a lot of

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/26/2022:  04:52:23

aging Pee-wee fans that especially enjoyed watching Miss Yvonne.

Her huge

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/26/2022:  08:21:29

assets mesmerized a whole generation.

Meanwhile, back in Mayberry