OM45GE - Posted - 09/30/2015:  18:02:15

but didn't do very well in the elections. 

Perhaps I should have 

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/01/2015:  05:08:21

run for US President.They're in same boat aren't they.

Although one's not half as bad as the other, they both still

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/01/2015:  07:55:12

put their pants on one leg at a time.

A white doghouse

OM45GE - Posted - 10/01/2015:  13:53:26

is still a doghouse and being forces to sleep there isn't a good thing. 

My ex wife used to

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/01/2015:  16:51:20

wash her feet in the bird bath.

She said it felt good to

OM45GE - Posted - 10/01/2015:  17:44:20

wiggle her toes in the bird poop and feathers. 

Personally, I thought

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/01/2015:  18:27:59

about sleeping in the doghouse after many sleepless nights spitting feathers off my lips.

It might be healthier

OM45GE - Posted - 10/02/2015:  03:25:54

if I stopped kissing her feet after she had them in the birdbath. 

However, she doesn't 

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/02/2015:  04:10:54

really like the bird bath all that much.

She wants us to move to the

OM45GE - Posted - 10/02/2015:  04:28:47

south coast of France but can't really explain why. 

It might have something to do with 

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/02/2015:  05:05:52

the salt content in the water there?

I don't know,,,she's very persnickity when it comes to

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/02/2015:  06:59:51

salt water bathing ever since the flood of 1968.

Her waterlogged brain

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/02/2015:  09:37:32

is still very pickled.

She stays dehydrated and can't

OM45GE - Posted - 10/02/2015:  18:40:10

explain the theory of relativity to save her life. 

She's also not very good at 

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/02/2015:  22:21:05

boiling water or feeding the goldfish.

Boiled goldfish

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/03/2015:  02:37:50

lose their color while cooking.

In eastern Kentucky the leaves are

OM45GE - Posted - 10/03/2015:  04:43:27

pretty much the same as leaves in the other states along the Appalachians. 

The the only difference is 

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/03/2015:  05:40:54

they're kinda different.

One way to tell the difference is

OM45GE - Posted - 10/03/2015:  05:49:11

line them all up for a careful inspection of all their features. 

They don't want you to inspect their 

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/03/2015:  06:47:33

car trunks for moonshine, but banjo inspection is OK.

Coal mining is one way to

OM45GE - Posted - 10/03/2015:  06:52:56

fulfill a lifelong dream of operating heavy machinery and making lots of noise. 

However, you do need to

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/03/2015:  11:14:25

use a shovel now and then.

I hated it when the coal smoke made the snow

OM45GE - Posted - 10/03/2015:  13:13:16

look black as coal, hey wait a minute, now I get it. 

I wonder why 

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/03/2015:  17:22:07

grandpa and grandma sleep with their backs to each other?

One day grandpa chased grandma around the

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/03/2015:  17:49:11

henhouse because she was putting all her eggs in one basket.



No shrinking violet, she

Edited by - chuckv97 on 10/03/2015 17:49:42

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/03/2015:  20:17:45

slowed down so grandpa could catch her.

Just then a wasp popped grandpa on the

OM45GE - Posted - 10/04/2015:  04:47:13

tip of his rather large and gin blossomed nose, causing him to tumble to the ground screaming  

It wasn't very dignified 

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/04/2015:  08:28:56

so grandma came to his aid.

As she twisted his nose she said;

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/04/2015:  22:22:20

"Listen,you old codger, I'm sick and tired of your boozing and smoking.

From now on

OM45GE - Posted - 10/05/2015:  03:41:34

you're walking a straighter and narrower path.

If you don't like it you can

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/05/2015:  05:25:53

walk the crooked,wide path by yourself!!

Now get in the house and

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/05/2015:  11:50:51

I'll tie you down until you come to your senses.



So Grandpa clamo(u)red, "But you haven't tied me down since

Edited by - chuckv97 on 10/05/2015 11:51:59

OM45GE - Posted - 10/05/2015:  16:17:25

that long we end we spent at. The S&M convention. 

Remember the first night when you

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/06/2015:  01:37:01

left my right arm free to do whatever?

And whatever turned out to be a

OM45GE - Posted - 10/06/2015:  03:28:57

an intense round of arm wrestling. 

It wasn't real fair because you

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/06/2015:  05:11:21

kept hitting me with the brass knuckles.

We finally ended up in the closet where

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/06/2015:  07:57:22

we wrestled with your skeletons, reminders of past rocky relationships."

Suddenly sirens and flashing lights

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/06/2015:  13:05:53

could be heard outside.

Then in walks Colombo and Mattlock as

OM45GE - Posted - 10/07/2015:  03:29:30

Broderick Crawford watched through the doorway while stuffing another donut into his mouth. 

I didn't know what

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/07/2015:  05:47:33

this all meant.

Then Grandma yelled,,SURPRISE,,,,SUPRISE,it's Grandpa's birthday and we

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/07/2015:  07:04:58

invited his favorite TV heroes to help blow the candles out.

Afterwards,they all jumped into Crawford's

OM45GE - Posted - 10/07/2015:  08:21:09

hot tub naked as jay birds.

Their fun was short lived when

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/07/2015:  10:06:08

Someone pulled the plug and the water ran out.

So they all just jumped in the swimming pool and began

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/07/2015:  10:33:10

turning blue with cold, since Grandma had pulled the plug on the ee-like-a-triss-eye-tee.

Headfreeze is a condition

jgaylor - Posted - 10/07/2015:  10:50:20

you get when you eat too many popsicles.

It hurts almost as bad as

OM45GE - Posted - 10/07/2015:  17:55:50

a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. 

I should know better than 

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/08/2015:  03:30:51

to chase the female all night....

I was comin down off the mountain when it started

OM45GE - Posted - 10/08/2015:  03:39:27

and the next thing I knew I was waking up in the valley with a black eye and no pants. 

I think I may have

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/08/2015:  05:53:36

bitten off more than I could chew with that devilish woman.

For my next