OM45GE - Posted - 10/19/2018:  08:00:14

was clearly disappointed to have to sit next to an intellectual inferior.

He buried his nose in his philosophy textbook and

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/19/2018:  08:57:48

harrumphed with an air of disgust.

I asked him about the “1000 monkeys set behind a1000 typewriters” theory

OM45GE - Posted - 10/19/2018:  09:47:23

which caused him to dissolve into helpless laughter.

When he finally composed him self, he said,

Ga-PorchPicker - Posted - 10/19/2018:  10:09:41

The 1000 monkey theory was bunk. And he was actually  a retired scriptwriter for the Dick Van Dyke show.



My mouth dropped as he

Edited by - Ga-PorchPicker on 10/19/2018 10:10:47

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/19/2018:  10:21:42

showed me a photo of him and Morey Amsterdam arm in arm mocking Mel Cooley.

He said he was fired from the show and had been traveling by bus ever since

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/19/2018:  12:24:23

his drivers license had expired.

He said he was very hungry and could I

Ga-PorchPicker - Posted - 10/19/2018:  12:33:13

lend him a few dollars so he could grab some food at the next stop.



I reached in my wallet and handed him a five dollar bill and then realized

Edited by - Ga-PorchPicker on 10/19/2018 12:33:45

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/19/2018:  12:39:33

a McChicken only costs $1.00 on the “Dollar Menu”.

You see, I’ve never been a money tree

OM45GE - Posted - 10/19/2018:  17:53:07

let alone been asked to fund the nutritional requirements of a non-human primate.

Maybe I'll get some kind of

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/20/2018:  04:08:20

financial relief from Uncle Sam.

Then I could go to McDonalds and

OM45GE - Posted - 10/20/2018:  04:42:50

poison myself with selections from their menu.

I always feel ill after

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/20/2018:  05:44:48

eating McDonald's stuff..Burger King is much better IMO.

I recon we won't starve if we

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/20/2018:  09:21:48

till an acre or two next year.

I had a green thumb

DC5 - Posted - 10/20/2018:  11:58:04

from trying to print my own money.


Any learning experience

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/21/2018:  05:01:25

is much welcome because I never got to go to school.

That being said,,it's only a matter of

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/21/2018:  07:45:06

time before they throw me in the slammer for not spillin’ the beans.

My apprenticeship with Fast Eddie Esposito

DC5 - Posted - 10/21/2018:  17:55:27

ended poorly when I lost the drop money.


My legs were broken but

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/22/2018:  03:17:24

I could still walk on my hands.

There weren't to many that

OM45GE - Posted - 10/22/2018:  03:39:29

could do that and I soon got a job with the circus.

I met the

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/22/2018:  05:02:26

Fat Lady and the Thin Man.

But nobody would introduce me to

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/22/2018:  05:53:59

Sammy the Sword Swallower.

His larynx

OM45GE - Posted - 10/22/2018:  10:00:46

had been eaten by a rabid lynx which made swallowing swords easier.

However, he couldn’t

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/22/2018:  14:47:43

say one word.

Then came the time to

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/22/2018:  15:19:10

close down the show for the winter.

Sammy and the Fat Lady

OM45GE - Posted - 10/22/2018:  18:37:32

celebrated by getting roaring drunk and tumbling into the sack.

Unfortunately, Sammy ended up

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/23/2018:  03:52:48

on the bottom and got squashed.

Let that be a lesson to

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/23/2018:  05:23:55

all you sword-swallowers out there.

What appears harmless

OM45GE - Posted - 10/23/2018:  17:51:47

is often, in fact, quite harmless.

It’s all part of

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/24/2018:  03:53:05

"the hand is quicker than the eye"

That's really not true because

OM45GE - Posted - 10/24/2018:  04:18:30

it’s not the eye that is slow, it’s the brain.

Particularly my brain ever since

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/24/2018:  05:03:51

my mama born me.

Of course it wasn't

OM45GE - Posted - 10/24/2018:  05:34:36

her fault that she gave birth to such a fool.

Her drinking and smoking certainly

DC5 - Posted - 10/24/2018:  06:24:45

wouldn't affect the fetus.


Lots of people smoke and drink and live

OM45GE - Posted - 10/24/2018:  06:32:00

like there’s no tomorrow.

Of course, at some point,

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/24/2018:  07:09:52

you end up passed out under the piano.



But just dust yourself off

Edited by - chuckv97 on 10/24/2018 07:10:25

OM45GE - Posted - 10/24/2018:  07:57:28

, scoop the cat hairballs out of your mouth and try to find your clothes.

Check to see if there are police cars outside so you can

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/24/2018:  08:12:32

clean out the empties under your driver’s seat.

Then check the address number on the house

OM45GE - Posted - 10/24/2018:  08:24:38

to make sure you're at the right house.

The last time you came home that drunk,

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/24/2018:  08:29:08

“home” was a dirt laneway down by the river.

Always close one eye

OM45GE - Posted - 10/24/2018:  09:01:12

when the room starts to spin.

It won't

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/25/2018:  04:17:17

throw you out the window.

Be sure to tell your wife that you

OM45GE - Posted - 10/25/2018:  06:15:11

expect to be released from the penitentiary any day now.

She may want to

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/25/2018:  06:59:45

change her name and address.

Your ‘67 Chev Malibu

Ga-PorchPicker - Posted - 10/25/2018:  07:51:48

is still sitting up on blocks.


The subway

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/25/2018:  08:15:03

is flooded so you'll need to take a taxi.

OM45GE - Posted - 10/25/2018:  10:06:26

in search of Scotty’s unfinished sentence.

Perhaps he forgot

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/25/2018:  13:34:50

what he was thinking.

I’ve lost my car at Walmart

Ga-PorchPicker - Posted - 10/25/2018:  16:01:10

again for the umpteenth time.

Maybe I will

OM45GE - Posted - 10/25/2018:  18:25:05

attach a flashing strobe light to the car the next time I park at Walmart.

Maybe I’ll just never