jistgreg - Posted - 02/26/2014:  00:41:23

be deported to Dalmatia. 

The Alsatian might 

OM45GE - Posted - 02/26/2014:  02:59:41

be confused with a German Shepherd.

However, they are

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/26/2014:  03:29:03

kinda falling by the way-side.

Now don't get your panties all twisted and

OM45GE - Posted - 02/26/2014:  04:30:58

in knots.

It's not worth

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/26/2014:  05:47:06

the time or money to continue working this job

I saw the Queen

RandyZ - Posted - 02/26/2014:  06:17:53

of spades sticking outta his sleeve during the poker game.


Meanwhile the Ace of spades fell out of my....

OM45GE - Posted - 02/26/2014:  06:39:17

pants cuff.

The sheriff drew down on

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/26/2014:  07:16:41

Billy Clanton,,for no reason.

Was driving down road,looked over in the pasture and

OM45GE - Posted - 02/26/2014:  08:42:30

saw the most amazing thing.

It was two

RandyZ - Posted - 02/26/2014:  09:57:35

aliens churning ice-cream.

This isnt uncommon around here, but....

BigMonFan - Posted - 02/26/2014:  10:00:33

after all, we were in New England.

That's where you know

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/26/2014:  10:07:52

two plus two equals fowh.

Cape Cod banned

BigMonFan - Posted - 02/26/2014:  10:12:21

most tourists from visiting there when they discovered the usefulness of an invention called a rotary.

This has to be

OM45GE - Posted - 02/26/2014:  10:18:22

the most effective tourist culling devices ever.

We New Englanders have great fun

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/26/2014:  10:42:40

driving in rotaries (roundabouts ,or rawndaboots in Canada).

Last week I saw

RandyZ - Posted - 02/26/2014:  10:45:36

the band YES in concert.


theyve changed the the name of 'roundabout' to 'rotary', it sounded like...

OM45GE - Posted - 02/26/2014:  11:58:52

a type of lawnmower or act between consenting adults.

Not that I would

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/26/2014:  12:35:11

mind but I couldn't see for the large hat in front of me worn by a you know what

in the wood pile there was a

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/26/2014:  13:30:20

broken down hobo waiting for his next freight to Reno.

He seemed a bit

BigMonFan - Posted - 02/26/2014:  14:45:47

nervous and kept asking us what time it was.

He said he had never

jistgreg - Posted - 02/26/2014:  15:11:21

been sick at sea. 

I said, "What, never?" and he said 

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/26/2014:  15:41:06

you got a quarter

Down in the willow garden

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/26/2014:  16:28:42

there was much weeping and gnashing of teeth.

It seems that

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/26/2014:  16:57:58

the next car I buy is going to be better than the. one I just got

That evening while sitting on the porch I

RandyZ - Posted - 02/27/2014:  03:47:30

Realized, hey, i could be standing! After strapping om my harley davidson Easter bonnet I....

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/27/2014:  04:04:19

stood up a saluted the harley davidson motor cycle emblem.

Never go swimming with alligators because

kcjc69 - Posted - 02/27/2014:  04:07:00

they don't like the competition.

Crocodiles on the other hand

OM45GE - Posted - 02/27/2014:  04:37:10

make excellent apartment pets. 

They keep your neighborhood free of

BigMonFan - Posted - 02/27/2014:  05:37:50

old gnus.

Like they say

RandyZ - Posted - 02/27/2014:  06:18:21

(you know its coming bigmon) no gnus is good gnus.

Speaking of the gnus, did ya'll read about the....

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/27/2014:  06:51:49

one that got away

Did you hear about

BigMonFan - Posted - 02/27/2014:  08:02:53

half of what the Mrs. was telling you.

I think studies have shown

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/27/2014:  08:10:10

that most men ignore a henpecking female voice.

When I got married, our hens

OM45GE - Posted - 02/27/2014:  08:38:23

sent me a sympathy card. 

They knew

RandyZ - Posted - 02/27/2014:  13:11:24

the way to San Jose.


Although i was heading towards Pittsburgh.....

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/27/2014:  13:23:59

a-rollin' down that Eastern seaboard.

Takin' little white pills

BigMonFan - Posted - 02/27/2014:  13:36:13

and my eyes are open wide.

Ain't got time to shoot the pinball or to

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/27/2014:  13:52:32

fool around with the truckstop chicks.

After shifting into 6th gear,just pop the button and

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/27/2014:  16:17:24

out came a rabbit wearing a hat

The sewing machine is acting kinda funny

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/27/2014:  17:48:08

since I hooked it up to my pump organ.

It keeps trying to sew

BigMonFan - Posted - 02/27/2014:  17:59:24

songs I can't sing and all the thread keeps knotting up and the stitches keep busting out in laughter.

Frankly, I'd as soon

RandyZ - Posted - 02/27/2014:  18:43:11

Be called Frank, instead of Frankly. After putting the finishing touches on the spaceship...

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/27/2014:  19:27:20

we went on a dive and saw squid. whales, and all kinds of fish at the depth of 400'

My alien friend said we should

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/28/2014:  02:52:26

be back in 2744

OM45GE - Posted - 02/28/2014:  02:52:38

do a flyover of Area 51 for grins.

He thought they

RandyZ - Posted - 02/28/2014:  05:45:21

thought Grins was a real person.

Later on, everyone was asking....'Hey! wheres this Grins guy you.....

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/28/2014:  05:52:22

think is so wonderful?

Take this saw,go to the frozen lake and

OM45GE - Posted - 02/28/2014:  06:32:24

cut a big circle in the ice around you.

Report back to me when

RandyZ - Posted - 02/28/2014:  06:40:00

you have completely fallen in.

As i looked through the ice at the sky....