Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/10/2014:  21:09:12

small men and held them captive for selfish purposes and didn't talk about what the circumstances were.

In my 40plus years I have never seen anything like

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/10/2014:  21:38:14

those Hooterville amazons.

Sam Drucker was nabbed

ErikH - Posted - 02/11/2014:  02:20:43

while carrying a feedbag.

Poor Arnold Ziffel was

OM45GE - Posted - 02/11/2014:  02:25:32

watching the water tower.

His quest for a glimpse of

Edited by - OM45GE on 02/11/2014 02:26:05

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/11/2014:  03:24:36

anything was remote

On any summer day, you can see

OM45GE - Posted - 02/11/2014:  04:33:24

lots of things in Hooterville.

But what Arnold longed for was

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/11/2014:  04:36:35

a very good example of creation.

The old judge said 90 days and

OM45GE - Posted - 02/11/2014:  04:38:03

banged his gavel.

Arnold hung his head and said,

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/11/2014:  05:00:07

I never thought I'd see the day when this would ever happen again

as I left the dock there were two

OM45GE - Posted - 02/11/2014:  05:03:44

shrimp boats waiting to tie up.

That's odd, I thought, they

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/11/2014:  05:16:58

had no one on board.

The shrimpers have

OM45GE - Posted - 02/11/2014:  05:23:19

been drinking heavily and

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/11/2014:  05:24:21

shrimp on the boat, just in case you didn't know

I believe the Sheriff conducted

OM45GE - Posted - 02/11/2014:  05:25:12

a thorough search.

He didn't find what

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/11/2014:  05:29:38

possibly could have led to their disappearance.

A shoe with a foot still in it was

RandyZ - Posted - 02/11/2014:  05:48:17

on display at the local mall.

It seemed like a great advertisement until....

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/11/2014:  05:53:07

some one claimed the shoe -- you know when the shoe fits, wear it

At one point the path changed directions and

OM45GE - Posted - 02/11/2014:  05:55:55

we ended up completely lost.

We would still be lost if not for

RandyZ - Posted - 02/11/2014:  06:30:37

my omnidirectional Jonny Rotten compass.

please dont confuse this with....

OM45GE - Posted - 02/11/2014:  06:32:34

my unidirectional Jonny Rotten compass.

They work completely differently and

 

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/11/2014:  07:17:05

the final result are identical.

I found her address on restroom wall so

BigMonFan - Posted - 02/11/2014:  07:35:54

I wrote her a dear Jane letter.

The postman always

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/11/2014:  07:39:01

rings twice,to rouse young lovers.

Now it's FedEx

OM45GE - Posted - 02/11/2014:  07:42:34

who shows up unexpectedly.

That has been a major inconvenience

RandyZ - Posted - 02/11/2014:  07:46:01

during clandestine relationships.

In my world, the milkman always rang 3 times, but.....

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/11/2014:  07:46:22

three is a kinky number.

It leads to a very knotty relationship

BigMonFan - Posted - 02/11/2014:  07:49:09

that weaves a tangled web and is very difficult to unravel.

But if unraveling is your forte

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/11/2014:  08:12:45

sew it back up and run

You only have one

RandyZ - Posted - 02/11/2014:  08:31:20

needle, and 1 thread.

try not to sew yourself and....

OM45GE - Posted - 02/11/2014:  08:42:16

your sweetie into a bundle.

It would be hard to explain and

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/11/2014:  10:58:44

FedEx won't ship it.

Try cramming her into a 

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/11/2014:  11:08:06

grayhound bus and take her to MaMa

The website enables you to

OM45GE - Posted - 02/11/2014:  11:24:13

pick a route and a rate.

However, it doesn't let you

RandyZ - Posted - 02/11/2014:  11:56:25

mouse over her yahoo.

But, if youre real nice, she might.....

jistgreg - Posted - 02/11/2014:  12:33:19

share her YooHoo with you. 

Just insist on two straws if you don't 

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/11/2014:  12:45:22

wash your head and shower before you call her

The mail man left a

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/11/2014:  13:20:14

bomb shaped package for you.

I hope he does well on his

OM45GE - Posted - 02/11/2014:  14:09:01

appointed rounds.

I don't think I could

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/11/2014:  14:19:08

shop all day and not stay home and do the house work

What a joy to wake each morning to a

OM45GE - Posted - 02/11/2014:  14:52:59

clean house and bags of purchased goodies.

I hope I don't have to

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/11/2014:  15:30:40

exchange any of them.

It's always nice to see different

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/11/2014:  15:46:50

species of cockroaches in the kitchen.

They are quite playful

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/11/2014:  16:00:50

if go can understand their way of life under the sink

the procedure was the same as the ones

OM45GE - Posted - 02/11/2014:  16:04:19

we used when the family of Gypsies moved into the basement.

We simply explained

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/11/2014:  16:10:03

why we set booby traps for them.

Then the fun began

OM45GE - Posted - 02/11/2014:  16:32:32

as the roaches donned full battle dress and grabbed their weapons.

We, in turn, swung into action with

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/11/2014:  16:38:57

and called the fire department to extinguish the blaze

There were some green things pockin up in

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/11/2014:  17:03:27

the center of the cheese wheel.

Merlin said stand back now and watch

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/11/2014:  20:00:08

the man in the moon cut cheese.

The stench drifted over to