chuckv97 - Posted - 02/10/2014:  11:59:26

Elephants have long repellant memories

OM45GE - Posted - 02/10/2014:  12:12:05

There are several reasons why that won't work.

Jonny5 - Posted - 02/10/2014:  17:04:22

Watched 'Oceans Eleven' for the twelfth time. They stole more good practise time, those crafty buggers.

OM45GE - Posted - 02/10/2014:  17:13:37

I'm still waiting for the Olympic committee to call. 

Jonny5 - Posted - 02/10/2014:  17:20:32

I'd like a drug test sometime. I'll test them all if they are free.

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/10/2014:  17:27:49

And then he said,,Excuse me sir, but that lb.of dirt belongs to me.

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/10/2014:  17:37:51

Then he extracted a lb. of flesh

Jonny5 - Posted - 02/10/2014:  17:48:23

There's a compass dispenser in that a submarine.

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/10/2014:  17:52:16

Never go to Subway when you're lost

OM45GE - Posted - 02/10/2014:  18:04:38

Please say you will. 

Jonny5 - Posted - 02/10/2014:  18:23:13

What? It's Valentine's Day? Sorry honey.

Jonny5 - Posted - 02/10/2014:  18:28:31

It's Monday so I got outta bed.

Jonny5 - Posted - 02/10/2014:  18:36:48

Yes it's multi-grian NOW PASS THE DAMN BUTTER!

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/10/2014:  20:49:41

I think there was a massacre on Valentines Day

OM45GE - Posted - 02/11/2014:  02:21:15

That's enough out of you.

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/11/2014:  04:19:19

Then the muffled sound of gunfire across the plains.

OM45GE - Posted - 02/11/2014:  04:36:28

The avocado teetered on the edge of the cliff, wondering again how it had all come to this.

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/11/2014:  05:21:15

Not to worry- here comes Wile E Coyote

Edited by - chuckv97 on 02/11/2014 05:22:11

OM45GE - Posted - 02/11/2014:  05:24:38

Two deer just walked through the back yard.

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/11/2014:  05:26:21

Good thing they weren't hitchhiking

OM45GE - Posted - 02/11/2014:  05:52:29

Thank goodness the coyotes weren't around.

guitarman8491 - Posted - 02/11/2014:  05:58:16

Well as Little Jimmy Dickens said..Doc keeps telling me to eat more fiber, I told him I ate so much I passed a wicker basket the other day

OM45GE - Posted - 02/11/2014:  06:05:29

They don't want to do that again.

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/11/2014:  07:12:02

Then,just as quickly as it began,all was quiet.

BigMonFan - Posted - 02/11/2014:  07:38:12

I knew right away my hearing aid battery had died.

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/11/2014:  07:41:07

Hearing aids are only good for one song

OM45GE - Posted - 02/11/2014:  07:44:08

Let's all lift a glass.

RB-1 - Posted - 02/11/2014:  11:34:46

The course 'Coping with disappointment' has been canceled.

OM45GE - Posted - 02/11/2014:  11:37:54

I'm sure pessimism as a life still will be was well.

RandyZ - Posted - 02/11/2014:  12:16:41

If i go thru with my face transplant....its gonna throw my whole look off, i just know it.

Edited by - RandyZ on 02/11/2014 12:17:01

drew-gurbach - Posted - 02/11/2014:  12:33:43

I knew this was gonna happen!  I just knew it!

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/11/2014:  13:16:31

Oh No!,,Her panties got twisted again.

OM45GE - Posted - 02/11/2014:  14:08:16

I hate it when that happens

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/11/2014:  15:25:43

Then there was the time Uncle Byrd tried to ride the red bull.
Now let me tell you folks

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/11/2014:  15:51:44

That's two pointlesses - sorry,only one allowed at a time; you'll have to sit in the corner and mope

OM45GE - Posted - 02/11/2014:  16:01:54

So a horse walks into a bar.

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/11/2014:  16:53:07

I leaned gee-tar up against handrail of back porch and laid pick on side stand.While
I was in house getting iced tea,a gust of wind blew pick away somewhere I don't
know where.Ding Dang it all,only had the one pick. Now I'll have to find a turtle and
make me another one. Don't have no pattern neither.Does anyone have a pick pattern
to loan me? Shucks and Balderdash!!

drew-gurbach - Posted - 02/11/2014:  17:32:23

Cow. Cow. C - O - W- E-I-E-I-O. (buzzzzz) Dag-nab-it!

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/11/2014:  19:56:20

I Got it, I got it -it blew all the way out here to the northern great plains- now I can play I Ride an Old Paint again

Jonny5 - Posted - 02/11/2014:  20:11:22

It's been lonely in the saddle since my old paint dried up.

OM45GE - Posted - 02/12/2014:  01:44:18

We're going to have to do some tests. 

TheLastWord - Posted - 02/12/2014:  02:11:09

Nobody knows why a demon nervously painted the police car.

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/12/2014:  03:26:41

OK boys,one more time. Where were you on,,,,,,,,,,,,

OM45GE - Posted - 02/12/2014:  03:29:24

That weird noise is coming from the neighbors' house again.

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/12/2014:  07:09:36

I suspect some skullduggery is taking place

OM45GE - Posted - 02/12/2014:  07:35:34

I've heard that Spotted Owl tastes like chicken.

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/12/2014:  07:44:04

Would you please stop posting those"fine how-do-you-do's"?

OM45GE - Posted - 02/12/2014:  07:54:05

I've drilled six holes in the bottom of the boat and the water still won't run out.

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/12/2014:  13:28:08

His hare lip laughs at Bugs Bunny cartoons