banjoscotty - Posted - 08/21/2017:  11:37:04

wheat grows at 82degrees F.

OM45GE - Posted - 08/21/2017:  12:29:09

Liquefied eggplant.

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/21/2017:  17:20:22

LOOK OUT!--BANG!--OUCHIE!--WELL,I TOLD YOU TO LOOK OUT!!!

OM45GE - Posted - 08/22/2017:  02:52:27

He burned his lips trying to blow up a bus. 

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/22/2017:  03:42:20

Lettuce,pickles,mustard,katchup,onion and 24 lbs. of sugar

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/22/2017:  03:49:30

Only 2957 trillion years til the sun burns out

OM45GE - Posted - 08/22/2017:  04:11:16

Waiter, there's soup on my fly!

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/22/2017:  20:21:53

I don't care.

OM45GE - Posted - 08/23/2017:  02:44:56

That wasn't very exciting. 

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/23/2017:  05:42:17

Let me in on the skinny

OM45GE - Posted - 08/23/2017:  06:16:42

Welcome to our automated emergency room reception area. Your expected waiting time is 17 days, 12 hours and 57 minutes.

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/23/2017:  20:26:46

(PS),,Uah,UUM,ERR,,,,oh just forget it!

OM45GE - Posted - 08/24/2017:  03:22:24

Someone moved my swimming pool. 

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/24/2017:  08:23:38

KC Irving had a lot of nerve

OM45GE - Posted - 08/24/2017:  10:57:18

I know I have the right to remain silent, I just don't have the intelligence.

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/25/2017:  12:35:57

When I went to bed last night,I went right to sleep

OM45GE - Posted - 08/25/2017:  13:20:49

Seriously, no!

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/26/2017:  10:21:40

Far-out Johnny stretched out on the waterbed

OM45GE - Posted - 08/26/2017:  17:39:52

This is the only time I'm going to be ambiguous.

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/27/2017:  05:23:54

You are joking aren't you?

OM45GE - Posted - 08/27/2017:  07:25:57

Hold my beer, I'm going to try something.

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/27/2017:  18:51:56

Nope, we don't want no stinkin' ass truckers hangin' around here...just slide yer stinkin' butt into that driver's seat and head on down the road!

OM45GE - Posted - 08/28/2017:  02:56:32

That was a mighty big wave. 

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/28/2017:  05:49:42

All rabbit's feet are not lucky!!

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/28/2017:  07:49:59

The last guy left it off the pump

OM45GE - Posted - 08/28/2017:  12:48:30

Your excuses are starting to sound the same.

DC5 - Posted - 08/28/2017:  15:20:28

Betty Jo Bioloski, everyone knew her as Nancy.

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/28/2017:  15:59:33

I'd sit and watch my TV if I thought I could trust the news

OM45GE - Posted - 08/28/2017:  19:38:49

It wasn't a particularly radical idea. 

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/29/2017:  04:58:48

I can't believe it,,,they singled me out from 2 others

OM45GE - Posted - 08/29/2017:  13:09:50

We baked you a cake but we ate it already.

DC5 - Posted - 08/29/2017:  14:02:55

Has anyone seen the pin to this hand grenade?

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/29/2017:  16:06:14

My soles are overheating

OM45GE - Posted - 08/29/2017:  18:31:40

You're not the next Mother Theresa 

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/30/2017:  04:53:15

HURRY UP,,IT'S ABOUT TO BLOW!!!,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Fizzle,Fizzle,SPUTT,Fizzle,,,,,,,,Well I'll be darned,,Never Mind

DC5 - Posted - 08/30/2017:  07:09:47

If it takes one woman 9 months to have a baby, how long will it take 9 women?

OM45GE - Posted - 08/30/2017:  14:00:17

This doesn't look like the future Popular Mechanics promised.

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/31/2017:  04:42:46

My horse was first out of the gate,,she should have finished the race first,,,What happened?

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/31/2017:  06:49:08

I can't seem to get any peace this week

OM45GE - Posted - 08/31/2017:  10:51:26

He let out a blood curdling scream for no apparent reason.

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/01/2017:  04:33:43

Never run in on someone who is holding a gun!!!

DC5 - Posted - 09/01/2017:  08:56:49

I wish Friday could come earlier in the week.

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/01/2017:  09:49:58

My shoelaces ran away from home

DC5 - Posted - 09/01/2017:  13:08:46

Does this butt make my pants look tight?

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/02/2017:  05:21:30

I don't know..Can you show us the butt and the pants?

OM45GE - Posted - 09/03/2017:  16:48:34

That's not what they meant when they said to blow up a bus.

DC5 - Posted - 09/04/2017:  05:16:06

The voices said they only talk to me.

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/04/2017:  07:02:00

Never try to persuade mother nature

DC5 - Posted - 09/04/2017:  11:05:18

Nurse, I said prick his boil!