chuckv97 - Posted - 05/15/2015:  10:20:25

These here tires were made by airheads

OM45GE - Posted - 05/15/2015:  10:41:44

Boy, you were a lot prettier in your internet photo.

TheLastWord - Posted - 05/16/2015:  03:58:35

The light at the end of the tunnel is omni-present, much like candy.

OM45GE - Posted - 05/16/2015:  04:14:04

We've sent your reply by carrier pigeon. 

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/16/2015:  10:45:24

23 onions,12 carrots,7 radish roots,9 ears of corn,3 pumpkins,and a 16ga shotgun
should do the trick.

OM45GE - Posted - 05/16/2015:  12:46:07

Parsnips. 

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/16/2015:  14:45:29

Red River north is not at flood level

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/16/2015:  16:21:40

If you intend to go on a sea cruise,you must first get on the ship.

OM45GE - Posted - 05/16/2015:  18:49:11

Winter moths and a few earthworms make a tasty snack. 

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/17/2015:  04:16:52

SHUTUP and drive!!!

OM45GE - Posted - 05/18/2015:  03:40:49

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandmother, not screaming in terror like her passengers. 

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/18/2015:  07:45:22

I'm not planning on dying

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/18/2015:  12:25:03

Well,,I NEVER!!!

OM45GE - Posted - 05/19/2015:  06:34:53

Somebody is going to pay for this.

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/19/2015:  08:43:30

Sure,,promises, promises...

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/19/2015:  15:20:35

Grandpa's Farmall tractor can outpull a mature billy goat.

FRAILER57 - Posted - 05/19/2015:  23:17:29

If I only had one of those,I'd be totally satisfied.

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/19/2015:  23:34:11

I've seen the south end of a north bound Clydesdale

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/20/2015:  04:48:05

Once upon a time there was a man,,,well,,,there was a woman too.

OM45GE - Posted - 05/22/2015:  06:01:22

Looks like road kill for dinner tonight.

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/22/2015:  06:18:05

I have no comment,,,,,,,,,,what's the point?

OM45GE - Posted - 05/22/2015:  06:37:14

I see your point but if you keep the hat on no one will notice.

TheLastWord - Posted - 05/23/2015:  04:00:36

The 1990 Chenin Blanc from Acme Winery combines torrid mango-fandango essences with a fervent Kandy Korn finish.

OM45GE - Posted - 05/23/2015:  04:08:54

I'm going to need to see a photo ID. 

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/23/2015:  18:22:51

Once there was ,,,then there wasn't

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/23/2015:  18:31:51

Waddya mean I can't park here overnight in the Customs Compound!

TheLastWord - Posted - 05/24/2015:  04:01:49

A fly is omni-present, much like candy.

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/24/2015:  14:52:02

Went to a fish fry down the street but it turned out to be roast rattlesnake.

OM45GE - Posted - 05/25/2015:  12:00:06

Just pull it real fast. 

TheLastWord - Posted - 05/25/2015:  17:45:50

Boop boop diten datem whatem choo...

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/25/2015:  18:41:44

It was a very dark night in the middle of the day
Two dead boys got up to play
Back to back they faced each other
They drew their swords and shot each other
A deaf policeman heard the noise
He slowly rushed in and rescued the boys

OM45GE - Posted - 05/26/2015:  03:44:06

And now a word from our sponsors. 

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/26/2015:  05:53:00

OLD GOLD cigarettes,,,"Not A cough in A Car Load"

(Dennis James)

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/26/2015:  16:10:57

Aw please Miss Kitty, just one more time, huh? (Dennis ,aka Chester, Weaver)

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/26/2015:  16:49:25

The good times ain't over for good,,,I just found a dollar bill.

OM45GE - Posted - 05/26/2015:  18:38:26

I told you that was poison ivy. 

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/27/2015:  03:17:01

This guitar has 6 strings and I have only 4 fingers and a thumb.

WHAT THE HECK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OM45GE - Posted - 05/27/2015:  03:49:04

Drill another hole in the bottom of the boat. The water isn't drawing out fast enough. 

TheLastWord - Posted - 05/27/2015:  14:48:18

The sky is often one floor above you.

OM45GE - Posted - 05/27/2015:  16:24:34

Don't forget to tip your waitress. 

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/27/2015:  16:45:08

Hah...so you figure one inch on a map equals one minute of driving time?

OM45GE - Posted - 05/27/2015:  17:35:40

I have to water the sidewalk. 

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/28/2015:  13:30:42

I just fell up a whole flight of stairs.

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/28/2015:  14:56:11

Nobody's resting in this restroom

FRAILER57 - Posted - 05/28/2015:  21:44:44

SHEESH!!! It's togetherments, not apartments!!

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/29/2015:  05:33:35

WHOA!!,,,STOP!!,,,,,,Don't you even touch that fishing pole!!

OM45GE - Posted - 05/29/2015:  07:56:29

It's just another day in paradise.

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/29/2015:  10:16:48

WHAT?? He's playing drums in a bluegrass band???

OM45GE - Posted - 05/29/2015:  18:06:23

Put the banjo down, step back slowly and no one will get hurt.