mbanjo - Posted - 02/05/2013:  10:49:56

Many a sinking ship has no reason to complain

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/05/2013:  12:46:38

I saw one of those bigfoots on TV once.

TheLastWord - Posted - 02/06/2013:  03:58:31

To auction a mentholated cough sweet, or not to auction a mentholated cough sweet, that is the question!

OM45GE - Posted - 02/06/2013:  04:43:21

What am I offered for this used water balloon?

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/06/2013:  05:30:22

I don't use listerine because I don't want
anything dieing in my mouth......

RandyZ - Posted - 02/06/2013:  06:35:22

im not responsible, and im not responsible either.

BigMonFan - Posted - 02/06/2013:  06:43:46

Mickey Mouse:  "But your Honor, I didn't said Minnie was crazy, I said she was xxxxxxx Goofy."

OM45GE - Posted - 02/06/2013:  08:39:14

Bailiff, whack his Pee Pee

mbanjo - Posted - 02/06/2013:  12:12:01

Who let the water out of the swimming pool?

Alaina - Posted - 02/06/2013:  14:56:00

Who let the internet out again?

mbanjo - Posted - 02/06/2013:  16:55:17

Your toenails need cutting again

mbanjo - Posted - 02/06/2013:  16:55:55

Your toenails need cutting again

OM45GE - Posted - 02/07/2013:  03:19:39

There's an echo in here.

BigMonFan - Posted - 02/07/2013:  05:23:28

Where are you   you     you      you?

OM45GE - Posted - 02/07/2013:  09:05:28

The echoes are arguing with me.

mbanjo - Posted - 02/07/2013:  10:20:00

Don't join dangerous cults:.... Practice safe sects.

RandyZ - Posted - 02/07/2013:  11:24:56

i woulda been leary of Jim Jones just because of them goofy shades he wore....

mbanjo - Posted - 02/07/2013:  12:06:22

What do you get when two leprechauns have a conversation?................

A lot of small talk!

TheLastWord - Posted - 02/07/2013:  16:23:54

Why isn't my ballpoint pen flat?

OM45GE - Posted - 02/07/2013:  18:21:34

I wrote a song but it got an X-Rating because it was full of Sax and Violins.

mbanjo - Posted - 02/07/2013:  19:33:04

A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.

Edited by - mbanjo on 02/07/2013 19:34:14

OM45GE - Posted - 02/08/2013:  02:58:20

We got our money from the metals industry. My mom stayed home to iron while dad went out to steal.

TheLastWord - Posted - 02/08/2013:  03:34:09

I'm a sherbet fountain! I'm a Post-It note! I'm retractable! Appear in pantomime with the jacket, appear in pantomime with the jacket!

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/08/2013:  04:51:41

This way I know it's safer,,,,but do I
turn to the left or right??

OM45GE - Posted - 02/08/2013:  09:15:32

I can't believe that made it all the way through the dog.

mbanjo - Posted - 02/08/2013:  11:48:09

I got a sweater for Christmas. ..........but I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/08/2013:  12:22:20

There's only one thing to do,,,,,,,,,,but what is it?

mbanjo - Posted - 02/08/2013:  13:17:26

I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him $50 that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, 'no, the steaks are too high.'

OM45GE - Posted - 02/08/2013:  13:36:30

Where's the beef?

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/08/2013:  14:04:56

I've got a barrel of flour and a bucket full of lard

OM45GE - Posted - 02/08/2013:  14:14:24

There's a hole in my bucket.

mbanjo - Posted - 02/08/2013:  14:55:27

I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/09/2013:  07:31:38

OH,,OH!!! The rattlesnakes are beginning to hatch out here!!!

BigMonFan - Posted - 02/09/2013:  07:39:16

Baby rattlesnakes like to play with baby rattles.

OM45GE - Posted - 02/09/2013:  10:59:17

It beats ferret legging.

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/09/2013:  11:24:41

Time to stock up on shotgun ammo

OM45GE - Posted - 02/09/2013:  11:48:27

I'll give you 10 seconds head start.

mbanjo - Posted - 02/09/2013:  12:25:39

What is the purpose of reindeer? It makes the grass grow, sweetie.

TonyS - Posted - 02/09/2013:  18:31:43

Please dont bother trying to find her, she's not there...

I like songs that save me a trip - I would have looked, got bummed out, tired....

mbanjo - Posted - 02/09/2013:  18:44:36

Why are you not doing what I asked you to do?

TheLastWord - Posted - 02/09/2013:  19:45:27

Apparently, many wooden stakes will make a liar say "Ni!" to starting pistols...

mbanjo - Posted - 02/09/2013:  21:16:09

Tribal chants and insults will get you nowhere.

TheLastWord - Posted - 02/10/2013:  04:45:24

I've always wanted to be granite.

jistgreg - Posted - 02/10/2013:  06:01:23

My countertop is marble, but it's been taken for granite. 

OM45GE - Posted - 02/10/2013:  10:35:58

He's a dead ringer for his brother.

mbanjo - Posted - 02/10/2013:  11:58:46

I just broke my new years resolution..a bottle of beer for breakfast

OM45GE - Posted - 02/10/2013:  12:50:23

I've resolved not to make resolutions.

mbanjo - Posted - 02/10/2013:  13:14:04

And I won't be breaking any more bottles

TheLastWord - Posted - 02/10/2013:  15:12:20

Mr Spoon summons a flat-bottomed pot.