DC5 - Posted - 06/07/2023:  05:40:25

Money can't buy love, but it can rent it.

DC5 - Posted - 06/07/2023:  05:49:45

Never play Russian Roulette with a semi-auto

(had to do 2 in a row because I just made this one up and didn't want to lose it)

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 06/07/2023:  08:32:37

Forest Gump’s favorite password “1Forest1”

DC5 - Posted - 06/07/2023:  11:35:59

You can save money by turning your condoms inside out and using them again.

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/07/2023:  12:22:14

No phone, no pool, no pets

HarleyQ - Posted - 06/07/2023:  20:54:33

The snorers are always the ones to fall asleep first.

DC5 - Posted - 06/08/2023:  04:29:59

Another day another 67 cents after taxes.

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 06/08/2023:  06:42:00

Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/08/2023:  07:44:50

Roll with the punches

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 06/08/2023:  12:41:32

It’s not right to try to fool Mother Nature

HarleyQ - Posted - 06/08/2023:  20:25:11

The person that discovered milk. What was he doing??

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/09/2023:  20:49:07

A swinging bunt is an oxymoron

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 06/10/2023:  06:52:48

Light travels faster than sound, which makes some folks appear bright until you hear them speak

HarleyQ - Posted - 06/10/2023:  20:53:37

The hot dog is the noblest of all dogs. It feeds the hand that bites it.

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 06/12/2023:  11:06:10

What do get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/12/2023:  14:11:08

Hot cross buns are not Easter eggs

HarleyQ - Posted - 06/12/2023:  19:41:37

My boss hates it when I shorten his name to Dick. Probably because his name is Cameron.

HarleyQ - Posted - 06/13/2023:  21:22:45

Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii? Or just a low ha.

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 06/14/2023:  04:51:16

A kleptomaniac has no sense of humor, they always take things literally

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/14/2023:  07:51:29

My last boss ran out of orders

HarleyQ - Posted - 06/14/2023:  20:17:54

Why did the sea monster eat five ships carrying potatoes? No one can eat just one potato ship!!

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 06/15/2023:  06:39:52

The traveling photon was asked by a bellboy if he needed help with his luggage, to which he replied “No thank you, I’m traveling light”

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/15/2023:  10:22:41

Aglet futures are dipping

HarleyQ - Posted - 06/16/2023:  09:06:10

Dogs can't read MRI's but catscan.

HarleyQ - Posted - 06/16/2023:  19:22:22

My friend said they didn't understand cloning...I said "that makes two of us."

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/16/2023:  21:27:26

My shoes gave up walking

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 06/17/2023:  05:42:13

The midget fortune teller who escaped from jail made headlines as “Small Medium at Large”

HarleyQ - Posted - 06/17/2023:  19:49:23

I'm doing one of those escape rooms today. Well, I'm going to work, but I'm trying to figure out how to get out of it.

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/17/2023:  22:28:04

Popcorn is verboten at Cornhusker games

HarleyQ - Posted - 06/18/2023:  21:03:39

I told my daughter that I saw a deer on the way to work this morning. She ask me..."How did you know it was on its way to work?"

DC5 - Posted - 06/19/2023:  11:28:28

It's a challenge being my wife's trophy husband, but I'm nailing it.

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 06/19/2023:  12:55:38

Geology rocks, but geography is where it’s at

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/19/2023:  13:12:34

The algebra is triggering a craving for trigonometry

HarleyQ - Posted - 06/19/2023:  19:22:32

If anybody wants to sponsor me, I'm doing a 0.002km run to raise awareness for laziness.

Bilhe - Posted - 06/19/2023:  20:09:32

i would if i could but a catfish can't lift the lid off a beercan.

DC5 - Posted - 06/20/2023:  05:47:46

There are no bones in ice cream.

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 06/20/2023:  06:22:57

The initial reviews of the new restaurant that has opened on the moon all agree that the food is great, but there is no atmosphere

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/20/2023:  11:33:25

Exposure is overrated

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 06/20/2023:  18:01:46

Smaller babies may be delivered by a stork, but the heavier ones need a crane

HarleyQ - Posted - 06/20/2023:  19:19:19

Out of all the inventions of the last century, the dry erase board is probably the most remarkable.

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/20/2023:  20:37:36

The back forty is never a center fielder’s domain

DC5 - Posted - 06/21/2023:  13:57:22

The track team voted me the Javelin Catcher.

HarleyQ - Posted - 06/21/2023:  19:58:31

Sorry I called the police when I saw you running, I had no clue you did that for fun.

DC5 - Posted - 06/22/2023:  05:24:16

Roger Miller was right, you can't roller skate in a buffalo herd.

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 06/22/2023:  08:43:44

So what if I don’t know apocalypse means, It’s not the end of the world

HarleyQ - Posted - 06/22/2023:  21:17:44

Finally found a job, start tomorrow at the Bowling Ally; throwing back the balls.

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/22/2023:  22:03:53

I quit yelling “Fore” at the golf course

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 06/23/2023:  05:12:20

I wonder if the Middle Ages are referred to as "The Dark Ages” because there were too many Knights

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 06/23/2023 05:24:09

DC5 - Posted - 06/23/2023:  05:47:02

I'm only 109 posts away from 25,000