Omeboy - Posted - 03/19/2020:  13:05:56

Special Public Service Announcement:
"Never sanitize your hands by sticking them in a toaster."

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/19/2020:  13:09:44

Special Service Announcement: Keep all Dobermans away from infected Germans

Omeboy - Posted - 03/19/2020:  13:22:22

"The boys" won't be pump'en gas for a few days. They tried to sanitize their hands with Ma's waffle-iron.

OM45GE - Posted - 03/19/2020:  15:19:44

Bought into the myth that dogs mouth are sanitary

Omeboy - Posted - 03/19/2020:  15:36:19

The fleet refuses to return to Earth.
Not because of the coronavirus, but because Earth is now out of toilet paper.

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/19/2020:  16:10:56

Just drags his butt on the grass instead of using TP

TheLastWord - Posted - 03/19/2020:  22:25:17

Invented reusable TP years ago...

OM45GE - Posted - 03/20/2020:  05:53:25

Be kind to your web footed friends,
For that duck may be somebody's mother
She lives in a hole in a swamp
Where the weather is always damp

TheLastWord - Posted - 03/20/2020:  09:09:01

Denied docking clearance to the mothership after last weeks burnt toast fiasco.

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/20/2020:  09:12:04

Has been banned from accessing Daisy’s Facebook page

OM45GE - Posted - 03/20/2020:  10:42:32

Hanging out at the local porch dealership

Omeboy - Posted - 03/20/2020:  15:10:19

So far the big campaign to use toasters as hand sanitizers has been a bust.

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/20/2020:  15:11:53

Told his master to keep a 6’ distance, but did he listen?? ...NO!

TheLastWord - Posted - 03/21/2020:  03:15:16

Just realized he's been standing on the wrong porch for over 3 years.

OM45GE - Posted - 03/21/2020:  04:30:32

Never went wrong underestimating humans

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/21/2020:  07:47:27

Left the Hamilton Beach mixers behind

OM45GE - Posted - 03/21/2020:  08:35:01

Left the present behind

Omeboy - Posted - 03/21/2020:  11:41:48

Searching the cosmos for a planet made entirely out of sliced bread.

OM45GE - Posted - 03/21/2020:  15:22:03

Searching in vain for a little dignity

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/22/2020:  21:44:08

Looking for an interstellar chrome shop

TheLastWord - Posted - 03/23/2020:  03:48:28

Just noticed a strange toaster sitting in his front yard.

OM45GE - Posted - 03/23/2020:  05:22:10

Auditioning for the latest Bond film, You Only Duck Twice

Omeboy - Posted - 03/23/2020:  13:29:36

A few billion miles past the Van Allen Belt and the Asteroid Belt is yet another belt----the Hamilton Beach Belt, which is mostly composed of old toasters and frayed extension cords.

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/23/2020:  14:08:30

Nerves are gettin’ frayed

Omeboy - Posted - 03/23/2020:  14:44:01

Since their hound-dog, Rufus, came down with coronavirus, "the boys" now take turns chase'n the mail-man and try'en to hump his leg.

Edited by - Omeboy on 03/23/2020 14:44:25

OM45GE - Posted - 03/24/2020:  03:05:25

Will hump more than his leg if he doesn’t stop pulling my lips

TheLastWord - Posted - 03/24/2020:  17:28:42

Cruising my Mabel's house on a Monday night...

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/24/2020:  17:46:27

Never met a Fudd he didn’t like

Omeboy - Posted - 03/24/2020:  18:18:30

Here at the "Deliverance Research Center," the boys are in the final stages of determining whether or not bears actually poop in the woods.

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/24/2020:  19:01:57

Has wanted to poop for hours but the boss won’t let go

Omeboy - Posted - 03/24/2020:  19:48:36

The widespread toilet paper shortage hasn't affected "the boys" since they gave up poop'en for Lent.

TheLastWord - Posted - 03/24/2020:  20:37:31

K9 poop sniffer extraordinaire.

OM45GE - Posted - 03/25/2020:  03:49:29

Things dogs sniffing poop is disgusting

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/25/2020:  05:11:29

Have chrome outhouses attached at the rear

OM45GE - Posted - 03/25/2020:  07:20:10

Last known photo of the International Porch Sitters Federation, taken before “the incident”

Omeboy - Posted - 03/25/2020:  10:30:05

Imagine traveling 300 trillion miles to the nearest "fix-it shop," only to discover that you could have bought a brand new toaster cheaper than the repair price at Walmart!!!

TheLastWord - Posted - 03/25/2020:  10:44:40

Once walked to town and back for a button.

Omeboy - Posted - 03/25/2020:  12:05:33

According to a "Hollywood insider," film crews would always whisper, "MUM's the word," whenever Daffy was on the set. That was code for: "Mentally Unstable Mallard."

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/25/2020:  12:15:44

Once spooked a stable of horses causing an all night ruckus

OM45GE - Posted - 03/25/2020:  12:25:33

Sold all the horses for moonshine

Omeboy - Posted - 03/26/2020:  05:58:06

In the distant future, space travelers will be greeted at Earth orbiting Walmarts by anthropomorphic toasters.

OM45GE - Posted - 03/26/2020:  07:31:07

Yeah right, “Good Dog”

Omeboy - Posted - 03/26/2020:  07:58:11

"Greetings, carbon-based life-forms! Welcome to Walmart!"

Edited by - Omeboy on 03/26/2020 07:58:42

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/26/2020:  08:37:46

Welcome to my world.....sigh

OM45GE - Posted - 03/26/2020:  12:57:45

Wouldn't trade worlds for anything.

Omeboy - Posted - 03/26/2020:  20:14:13

"Attention, people of Earth. Resistance is futile------you will be toasted."

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/26/2020:  22:11:32

Attention Fellow Canines : I’m not smiling,,,never, ever put up with this. When you get a chance run for the nearest dog pound!

OM45GE - Posted - 03/27/2020:  03:19:27

High level strategy meeting at Camp David

Omeboy - Posted - 03/27/2020:  08:11:23

"Scotty, prepare to beam up two slices of whole-wheat on my command."