chuckv97 - Posted - 06/04/2019:  09:01:14

has a tunic full of stored-up gas

Omeboy - Posted - 06/04/2019:  09:05:33

He was once the defendant in a court case where the murder weapon was a frozen banana.

OM45GE - Posted - 06/05/2019:  03:46:56

Doesn’t try to defend his color choices

Omeboy - Posted - 06/05/2019:  12:40:43

His promising career officially ended the day they invented the "automatic pin setter."

OM45GE - Posted - 06/05/2019:  14:15:45

Bears the scars of many losing paintball games

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/05/2019:  20:28:15

sallies forth with the burden of traumatic mental scars

Omeboy - Posted - 06/05/2019:  20:34:42

Has a sure-proof secret weapon for winning any game---------industrial strength money flatulence.

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/05/2019:  20:39:23

poster boy for the Lead Mining Industry

TheLastWord - Posted - 06/06/2019:  01:48:34

Once built a full size outhouse made of toothpicks for a high school class project.

OM45GE - Posted - 06/06/2019:  03:07:16

Has no need for toothpicks

Omeboy - Posted - 06/06/2019:  09:11:01

The fine print on his tunic says: "Harmful vapors. Use in well ventilated area."

OM45GE - Posted - 06/06/2019:  10:06:14

Tries to claim he’s a decorated veteran

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/06/2019:  10:21:54

a Haight Ashbury veteran

OM45GE - Posted - 06/07/2019:  02:39:50

Medical experimentation veteran

TheLastWord - Posted - 06/07/2019:  03:46:35

Frontal lobotomy veteran.

Omeboy - Posted - 06/07/2019:  08:17:22

A tattoo on the sole of his webbed foot reads: "Property of Warner Brothers Studio."

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/07/2019:  08:34:00

his soul was fried in the Pittsburgh Paints Inc. laboratory

OM45GE - Posted - 06/07/2019:  12:48:44

Thinking about changing games after watching Zdeno Chára take a puck to his face

Omeboy - Posted - 06/07/2019:  13:06:39

After a through physical exam, the commune doctor old him he's not getting enough aluminum foil in his diet.

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/07/2019:  18:09:25

his kids moved out at 10 years old

OM45GE - Posted - 06/08/2019:  03:40:08

Hoping to get traded

Omeboy - Posted - 06/08/2019:  07:54:36

His "old lady" dumped him after he told her the only way she'd ever have a "smoke'n hot body" was if she was cremated.

TheLastWord - Posted - 06/09/2019:  04:29:08

Has an eye for bowlegged women...

Omeboy - Posted - 06/09/2019:  15:07:38

Starred in a TV pilot that never aired: "The Incredible Schmulk." It was about a little, skinny green guy that annoys people....until they finally beat the living crap out of him.

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/09/2019:  15:52:05

Used to hide behind bushes and scare the crap out of Marlin Perkins

OM45GE - Posted - 06/10/2019:  03:49:56

Just had the crap scared out of him a moment ago

Omeboy - Posted - 06/10/2019:  12:12:27

His latest business idea: "Rent A Kooky Neighbor." For five bucks a week, he'll live in your backyard in a cardboard box and watch your every move. For ten bucks, he'll go away.

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/10/2019:  18:11:04

went to Canada to get colo(u)red money

OM45GE - Posted - 06/11/2019:  03:26:54

Denies rumors that the colorful Loonie coin was named after him

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/11/2019:  03:58:38

Doesn't know where his kids are

OM45GE - Posted - 06/11/2019:  04:27:20

Just a kid at heart

Omeboy - Posted - 06/11/2019:  07:37:04

Was tossed out of the All-nighters Astronomy Club after he presented his "Extra Large Pizza (With Asteroids) Theory" of the cosmos.

OM45GE - Posted - 06/11/2019:  11:01:24

Can't pass a mirror without stopping to stare

Omeboy - Posted - 06/11/2019:  13:36:22

Scientists from the Environmental Protection Agency recently pinpointed the source of some toxic noxious fumes. You guessed it--------his tunic.

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/11/2019:  15:32:34

Wears camouflaged appearance while on the Witness Protection Plan on the case against Sherwin Williams

OM45GE - Posted - 06/12/2019:  03:02:02

Was told his uniform was camouflage while at the rink

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/12/2019:  03:53:48

First man ever to be treated for flat foot

OM45GE - Posted - 06/12/2019:  05:12:44

First man ever to be treated for a flat g-string

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/12/2019:  08:03:05

Got a flat so he scrapped his ‘48 DeSoto

OM45GE - Posted - 06/12/2019:  10:41:16

Used his shoestrings to repair the exhaust on his '48 DeSoto

Omeboy - Posted - 06/12/2019:  10:45:31

Speaking of exhausts.........
On "Earth Day," he gave a 45 minute speech on commercial uses for flatulence.

OM45GE - Posted - 06/12/2019:  10:49:13

His face colors shift when he farts

Omeboy - Posted - 06/12/2019:  11:52:00

He was recently awarded a big plaque for the "Guy With The Most Plaque On His Teeth."

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/12/2019:  12:50:48

Told a cop these were night-vision eyeglasses

Edited by - chuckv97 on 06/12/2019 12:51:21

OM45GE - Posted - 06/12/2019:  13:04:23

Has excellent night vision and is pissed they don't turn the rink lights off during games

TheLastWord - Posted - 06/12/2019:  14:46:42

Claims he found the end of the internet somewhere in Ohio.

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/12/2019:  14:57:31

Lost his fly-over permit for Ohio

OM45GE - Posted - 06/13/2019:  03:28:35

Congratulating St Louis

Omeboy - Posted - 06/13/2019:  11:46:36

Was abducted by aliens, but released ten minutes later when they discovered there were far more life-forms living in his tunic than they bargained for.