OM45GE - Posted - 04/01/2019:  08:54:51

Regrets living with humans

Omeboy - Posted - 04/01/2019:  12:23:25

Trying to sue the "23 And Me" lab because his sample showed no trace of human DNA.

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/01/2019:  13:41:08

Has very extensive make up kit

OM45GE - Posted - 04/01/2019:  15:56:22

Just because he wears a white hat doesn’t mean he’s always good

TheLastWord - Posted - 04/01/2019:  16:55:21

Does not pass go, does not collect $200.

Omeboy - Posted - 04/01/2019:  18:21:06

Once made an obscene "duck call" to Jessica Rabbit.

OM45GE - Posted - 04/02/2019:  03:07:00

Doesn’t know how to answer ethnicity questions on census forms

TheLastWord - Posted - 04/02/2019:  04:01:13

Hasn't filled out a form in twenty years.

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/02/2019:  04:20:03

Isn't anywhere near 20 yrs. old

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/02/2019:  07:49:21

Doesn’t change strings for 20 years

OM45GE - Posted - 04/02/2019:  09:24:09

Hasn’t changed his hockey pads in 20 years

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/02/2019:  14:47:56

Hasn't changed clothes for 20 yrs.

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/02/2019:  15:23:34

Says he was a banjo legend when he was 20

OM45GE - Posted - 04/02/2019:  15:58:55

A legend in his own mind

Omeboy - Posted - 04/02/2019:  16:06:03

Fervently prays each night to be to be wrapped in bacon before he dies.

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/02/2019:  16:07:55

Used to work on a pig farm ‘til they all ran away in fright

OM45GE - Posted - 04/02/2019:  16:09:21

Some of his best friends are pigs

Omeboy - Posted - 04/02/2019:  17:58:20

He never wears red ever since he was arrested for impersonating a fire hydrant.

TheLastWord - Posted - 04/02/2019:  19:19:15

Was kicked out of the family tree after the walnut incident of 1999.

OM45GE - Posted - 04/03/2019:  02:41:01

His family doesn’t perch in trees

TheLastWord - Posted - 04/03/2019:  04:01:31

Once passed through Dolly's bedroom while heading for the kitchen.

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/03/2019:  04:23:48

Saw Daisy and Donald skinny dipping = crossed eyes

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/03/2019:  05:49:41

Dipped into the band kitty to buy new strings

Omeboy - Posted - 04/03/2019:  09:18:20

To impress girls, he tries to pass himself off as a short sasquatch with his own hockey team.

OM45GE - Posted - 04/03/2019:  09:34:35

Vows to never again fall asleep at a frat party

Omeboy - Posted - 04/03/2019:  09:56:30

Busted by the cops for standing on the corner with a sign that said: "Peak Under My Tunic For 50 Cents."

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/03/2019:  10:34:15

Busted by the cops for knocking on doors and asking for Hallowee’en treats on Easter Sunday

OM45GE - Posted - 04/03/2019:  10:43:38

Hoping for a hat trick

Omeboy - Posted - 04/03/2019:  14:37:56

Saving up for "Height Enhancement Surgery."

OM45GE - Posted - 04/03/2019:  17:36:30

Held his breath until he turned blue and ended up like this

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/03/2019:  18:06:41

Thinking about sewing a colored tunic for Omeboy

Omeboy - Posted - 04/03/2019:  18:14:15

Was rejected for military service because he was too short, too hairy and wore a diaper.

OM45GE - Posted - 04/04/2019:  03:10:56

Was rejected for military service because he couldn’t be camouflaged

TheLastWord - Posted - 04/04/2019:  03:43:32

Promoted to Captain of the latrine brigade.

OM45GE - Posted - 04/04/2019:  04:12:00

Worried about plans to drain the swamp

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/04/2019:  06:35:37

Worried that the Philosophy Club will be shut down by the “Deep State”

OM45GE - Posted - 04/04/2019:  10:18:53

Took up hockey after he learned there were no fish under the ice.

Omeboy - Posted - 04/04/2019:  10:27:49

For his birthday, the commune chipped in and bought him a tube of prescription ointment.

OM45GE - Posted - 04/04/2019:  10:52:05

Used the same ointment and look what happened

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/04/2019:  11:44:13

Went to Haight-Ashbury in ‘67 and look what happened

Edited by - chuckv97 on 04/04/2019 11:45:17

Omeboy - Posted - 04/04/2019:  12:30:33

He had a big role in the last "King Kong" picture. (He got coffee and sandwiches for the T-Rexes.)

TheLastWord - Posted - 04/04/2019:  14:55:19

Likes to talk hoops while attending the Williamsburg Knitting Club.

OM45GE - Posted - 04/05/2019:  02:55:00

Cries whenever he reads The Ugly Duckling

Omeboy - Posted - 04/05/2019:  09:57:04

Never passes up an opportunity to moon a security camera.

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/05/2019:  11:30:08

Moons in technicolor

Omeboy - Posted - 04/05/2019:  11:45:51

Last hockey game, the opposing team anesthetized him, put a tag in his ear and stuck a tracking device up his butt.

OM45GE - Posted - 04/05/2019:  12:43:36

Appears normal when he looks in the mirror after eating lots of magic mushrooms

Edited by - OM45GE on 04/05/2019 12:44:09

Omeboy - Posted - 04/05/2019:  13:58:34

Was once arrested and convicted of premeditated loitering.

Fish Head - Posted - 04/05/2019:  14:09:24

Smurf with psoriasis.