chuckv97 - Posted - 05/26/2019:  11:36:20

Went to a Benjamin Moore factory and asked for Sherwin Williams

OM45GE - Posted - 05/27/2019:  09:07:14

Gets nervous when the start talking about draining the swamp

Omeboy - Posted - 05/27/2019:  09:12:57

The guys at the local computer shop gave him a new silk-screened tunic to wear with the words: "VIRUS DETECTED."

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/27/2019:  09:20:44

Walked into a computer shop and all the devices crashed

Omeboy - Posted - 05/27/2019:  09:24:25

He always keeps a step-ladder handy in case he wants to get in someone's face.

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/27/2019:  12:24:45

his nationality?? just mixed blood

OM45GE - Posted - 05/27/2019:  18:09:27

Mixing pleasure with business

Omeboy - Posted - 05/27/2019:  18:54:30

As a part of a court ordered community service sentence, he goes to high schools and begs kids not to turn out like him.

Edited by - Omeboy on 05/27/2019 18:55:27

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/27/2019:  19:09:24

A grade 12 chemistry lab experiment that went horribly wrong

Omeboy - Posted - 05/27/2019:  19:12:57

Was once the poster-child for children who periodically yack up hair-balls.

OM45GE - Posted - 05/28/2019:  03:42:51

Can’t have looked at himself in a mirror recently

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/28/2019:  04:12:20

Has fallen arches

OM45GE - Posted - 05/28/2019:  07:56:53

Has fallen off the banjo wagon

Omeboy - Posted - 05/28/2019:  08:03:13

Inspired by the old "Dial-A-Psychic" idea, he's planning on staring a new business: The "Dial-A-Psychotic" hotline.

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/28/2019:  17:14:51

Has an old pink Princess dial phone

Omeboy - Posted - 05/28/2019:  17:22:20

Recently admitted he has a 3000 dollar a day banana smoothy habit.

OM45GE - Posted - 05/29/2019:  03:05:08

Smooth operator

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/29/2019:  03:54:55

Father time's father

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/29/2019:  06:42:21

Stalling while his dopey fiddle player tells another lame joak

OM45GE - Posted - 05/29/2019:  11:58:14

Never laughs at fiddle players’ lame jokes

Omeboy - Posted - 05/29/2019:  14:52:05

A lot of high-profile brand name companies pay him NOT to wear their logo on his tunic.

OM45GE - Posted - 05/30/2019:  02:55:00

It’s difficult to tell when he’s green with envy

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/30/2019:  03:21:00

Once considered buying a kilt

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/30/2019:  03:52:23

giving coach the evil eye

Omeboy - Posted - 05/30/2019:  07:57:49

He's the ultra macho type. He makes popsicles out of A1 Steak Sauce.

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/30/2019:  08:50:49

Has a masochistic bent

Omeboy - Posted - 05/30/2019:  13:11:21

So far, his new "All Chimp Hockey Channel" has only two subscribers---------him and his mom.

TheLastWord - Posted - 05/31/2019:  03:54:39

Once confused a clay pot for his long lost shoe.

OM45GE - Posted - 05/31/2019:  04:31:16

Still looking for the SOB who drained the swamp

DC5 - Posted - 05/31/2019:  05:41:39

Feet swollen from walking on hot pavement.

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/31/2019:  08:08:25

deals only in hot items

OM45GE - Posted - 05/31/2019:  08:54:28

Hoping nobody notices his stick blade is too curved

Omeboy - Posted - 05/31/2019:  08:57:50

In case of an emergency, his beard and shoes can be used as a flotation device.

TheLastWord - Posted - 05/31/2019:  19:56:13

Once played hopscotch with a turtle and lost.

Omeboy - Posted - 05/31/2019:  20:05:02

His eyes became permanently crossed after his movie script, "The Abdominal Snowman," about a sasquatch who drinks ups a dozen micro-breweries, was shredded by every major studio.

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/31/2019:  20:05:58

often gets free rides across the pond on turtles' backs

OM45GE - Posted - 06/01/2019:  04:09:14

Tired of being asked, “What’s up Chuck?”

Omeboy - Posted - 06/01/2019:  21:02:34

Called the local cable TV company to complain about lousy reception.......after he stared at his toaster for two days.

TheLastWord - Posted - 06/02/2019:  05:37:19

Once played Marco Polo in the pool for two weeks by himself.

DC5 - Posted - 06/02/2019:  06:11:29

Forgot to fly back north in the spring

Omeboy - Posted - 06/02/2019:  07:46:26

He went out and bought a beautiful hammered dulcimer. The trouble is he's usually too hammered to play it.

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/02/2019:  15:27:36

chases rainbows on his moped

OM45GE - Posted - 06/03/2019:  03:43:41

Meet me in St. Louis, Louie

Omeboy - Posted - 06/03/2019:  07:58:34

He had that horrible nightmare again----where he's chased by a bunch of irate, torch-waving villagers who catch him and force him to take a bath.

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/03/2019:  12:59:10

His brain is also multi-colored,,,,(fried)

Omeboy - Posted - 06/03/2019:  14:37:55

He's got a twin brother, but they're nothing alike. His brother went to Penn State for four years. He went to the State Pen for five.

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/03/2019:  21:12:01

never got the lead out

rob_jenny - Posted - 06/03/2019:  22:05:14

Puck Puck away

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/04/2019:  03:13:15

WHEWY!! Throw the pooch out,,open the windows,,and turn
the fan on!!!