Omeboy - Posted - 08/06/2018:  16:08:40

Sure he may look harmless enough, but backing over him will cause severe tire damage.

TheLastWord - Posted - 08/06/2018:  17:05:37

Stuck in the photo booth for 7 hours.

Omeboy - Posted - 08/06/2018:  17:16:11

During "duck season," he disguises himself as a vertically challenged game warden who encourages other ducks to shoot back at those "dethssssspicable huntersssss."

OM45GE - Posted - 08/06/2018:  18:37:37

Hasn’t had much luck job hunting since becoming blue

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/06/2018:  18:41:28

A buddy seat?,,Where?

Omeboy - Posted - 08/06/2018:  18:42:07

Can't decide which tastes better on a cracker: spackle putty or bathroom caulk.

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/06/2018:  19:45:33

Went to a zany optometrist

Omeboy - Posted - 08/06/2018:  20:20:46

HIM: "You know that gray fuzzy stuff that grows under the fridge?

HER: "Yeah."

HIM: "Well, I did a little test..........and it taste twice as good as your meatloaf."



 

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/07/2018:  02:40:53

Drinks to much whiskey

OM45GE - Posted - 08/07/2018:  02:52:58

Doesn’t drink before a show

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/07/2018:  08:13:28

needs a drink real bad right about now

Omeboy - Posted - 08/07/2018:  08:33:24

Hey guess what. My friend, Bill, was in the Post Office yesterday. He said some kid drew a mustache on your brother's wanted-picture.

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/07/2018:  14:44:15

Always trying to start trouble!!

Omeboy - Posted - 08/07/2018:  14:48:52

And to think that just a few weeks ago, he was just a bunch of dead body parts waiting to be sewn together and zapped with electricity!

TheLastWord - Posted - 08/07/2018:  14:50:07

Still stuck in the photo booth.

Omeboy - Posted - 08/07/2018:  21:50:08

Once wrote a nasty letter to each Congressman demanding that America's bald eagle be forced to wear a decent toupee.

wi_gardener - Posted - 08/07/2018:  21:57:33

Looks like the morphine kicked in.

OM45GE - Posted - 08/08/2018:  03:33:55

Who let the cat out of the bag?

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/08/2018:  03:48:53

Doesn't have a cat,,or a dog either,,and doesn't need one.

OM45GE - Posted - 08/08/2018:  05:02:59

One cool cat with his hat and his Strat

Omeboy - Posted - 08/08/2018:  07:01:26

When he volunteered for the latest sleep study, he should have read the fine print..... and that little line about being strapped to a speeding motorcycle.

OM45GE - Posted - 08/08/2018:  08:02:32

Results of a week of sleep deprivation

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/08/2018:  08:31:07

Learned to sleep at 60mph

Omeboy - Posted - 08/08/2018:  08:43:26

"I called the Post Office right after I heard some kid defaced your brother's "wanted picture" by drawing a mustache on it. When I went in so see if they had fixed it, somebody had added horns, glasses, buck-teeth and a goatee!!!"

Edited by - Omeboy on 08/08/2018 08:44:35

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/08/2018:  08:46:12

has a frontal lobe that has nutty professors scratching their noggins

OM45GE - Posted - 08/08/2018:  11:29:45

This English to ditsy blonde translation dictionary is useless!

Omeboy - Posted - 08/08/2018:  11:33:12

Days like this he really wishes he was an accountant as opposed to an experimental air-bag tester.

OM45GE - Posted - 08/08/2018:  11:38:18

For some reason, Blue Man Group wouldn't grant him an audition

Omeboy - Posted - 08/08/2018:  11:39:58

Some people love collecting stamps, some love collecting coins and him-------he loves collecting scar tissue.

OM45GE - Posted - 08/08/2018:  12:42:50

Mysteriously started collecting extra heads after a visit to Roswell, New Mexico

TheLastWord - Posted - 08/08/2018:  16:28:29

Not sure this new braking system is a good idea.

Omeboy - Posted - 08/08/2018:  16:30:19

Like his pal, "Bugs," he has a clause in all of his studio contracts that says he will only appear on camera "in the nude."

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/08/2018:  17:00:20

That's not funny,,,is it?

Omeboy - Posted - 08/08/2018:  17:25:21

Draws his mustache on with a Sharpie.

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/09/2018:  03:16:28

Well lookie here,,a blue blooded albino!!

TheLastWord - Posted - 08/09/2018:  04:04:23

Winner of the BHH Carmen Miranda look alike contest.

OM45GE - Posted - 08/09/2018:  04:11:55

Winner of the Daffy Duck look alike contest

Omeboy - Posted - 08/09/2018:  06:38:24

Fifty guys applied for the crash-test job, but when they read that this guy enjoyed catching cement blocks on his head---they knew they had their winner.

OM45GE - Posted - 08/09/2018:  07:56:52

The next time he is prescribed a new medication he's going read the side effects insert.

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/09/2018:  07:59:20

Hasn't seen a bar of soap in ages

Omeboy - Posted - 08/09/2018:  08:09:55

HIM: So how's your brother's lawsuit against the Post Office going?

HER: "His lawyer said he'll have a stronger case if he cuts off his mustache, files down his horns, ditches those glasses, loses the goatee and manages to keep his hand over his mouth."



 

OM45GE - Posted - 08/09/2018:  08:33:12

These glasses aren't helping

Omeboy - Posted - 08/09/2018:  08:49:55

Tragically overwhelmed by his hopeless addiction to accordion music, he jumped on is hog and headed for the nearest cliff. An eye-witness said his last words were:
"Lady of Spain, I adore youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu."

OM45GE - Posted - 08/09/2018:  09:03:33

Doesn’t realize he looks different

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/09/2018:  14:03:44

doesn't realize his wife quit throwing him sandwiches

Omeboy - Posted - 08/09/2018:  14:12:40

HIM: If you didn't marry me for my looks and didn't marry me for my money---then WHY did you marry me????

HER:  Call me crazy, but I've always had a thing for middle-aged, fat, bald guys with chronic flatulence who only make minimum wage.  And, Baby, you're the best.

Edited by - Omeboy on 08/09/2018 14:13:09

TheLastWord - Posted - 08/09/2018:  16:20:11

Lost in a room full of mirrors.

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/10/2018:  02:44:57

Never gets lost,,can see two directions at same time..

OM45GE - Posted - 08/10/2018:  05:06:25

Lost the key to the stage door