Fish Head - Posted - 04/05/2019:  14:16:27

Auditioned, but was refused work on the blockbuster Avatar.
'Not quite what we're looking for . . ."

Omeboy - Posted - 04/05/2019:  14:17:26

He's the only guy in the world to be sued by an inflatable woman.

TheLastWord - Posted - 04/05/2019:  15:06:25

Has one too many left feet.

Omeboy - Posted - 04/05/2019:  15:23:45

Once gave "bill-to-mouth" resuscitation to Clutch Cargo.

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/05/2019:  15:37:06

Had a Bunson burner mishap in a Grade 12 chemistry lab experiment

OM45GE - Posted - 04/06/2019:  02:49:32

Planning to go back to the septic service gig

Omeboy - Posted - 04/06/2019:  11:37:44

Got a "cease and desist" court order after he started an adult diaper recycling center in his garage.

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/06/2019:  11:48:28

Was once a member of an Alabama chain gang for selling bogus tanning beds

Edited by - chuckv97 on 04/06/2019 11:49:18

OM45GE - Posted - 04/06/2019:  12:02:48

Was once thrown off an Alabama chain gang because of his vulgar language

Omeboy - Posted - 04/06/2019:  12:22:03

Has been repeatedly asked by Facebook to cover up his face.

TheLastWord - Posted - 04/07/2019:  12:42:12

Spent his life savings to purchase the Acme rocket company.

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/07/2019:  16:53:08

Irritated by roadrunners and their pansy ways

Edited by - chuckv97 on 04/07/2019 16:53:55

Omeboy - Posted - 04/07/2019:  17:40:40

I won't say he was a bad husband, but the judge gave his ex-wife custody of their fleas.

OM45GE - Posted - 04/08/2019:  03:14:05

The judge gave his ex-wife custody of their Magic Markers

TheLastWord - Posted - 04/08/2019:  03:58:03

Once tried to impersonate Judge Roy Bean while wearing clown shoes.

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/08/2019:  06:00:56

Bought shoes from Evil Roy Slade

Omeboy - Posted - 04/08/2019:  08:47:21

Hopes to be handed a straw and slowly lowered into a vat of banana daiquiris before he dies.

TheLastWord - Posted - 04/08/2019:  16:24:32

Was once the poster child for Zappy Taffy.

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/08/2019:  16:28:08

When things got rocky with Daisy, she’d often say,” Quit acting like a petulant child!”

Omeboy - Posted - 04/08/2019:  17:01:11

After he went missing for three days, they found him lying face down in a huge banana cream pie.

OM45GE - Posted - 04/09/2019:  02:52:16

His family was disappointed when he was found after going missing for three days

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/09/2019:  04:50:23

was once almost selected to be Father Time

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/09/2019:  09:17:31

Selected by the Florida Bluegrass Association as the man most likely to succeed in tuning a banjo.

Omeboy - Posted - 04/09/2019:  09:25:22

Once paid King Kong 500 bananas to poop on Tarzan's new convertible.

OM45GE - Posted - 04/09/2019:  10:09:58

Trying to get a job as a Benjamin Moore color palette

Omeboy - Posted - 04/09/2019:  10:18:35

There are only two things he needs in life: a warm air duct not too far from a protein-enriched dipsy dumpster.

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/09/2019:  11:04:46

Hooked a dumpster to a police cruiser and got a free ride “downtown”

Omeboy - Posted - 04/09/2019:  11:43:18

Has been a leading vocal critic about the discrimination in Hollywood against extremely hairy actors.

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/09/2019:  12:02:45

Told his shrink “the cheque’s in the mail”.

OM45GE - Posted - 04/09/2019:  12:39:55

Finds his uniform very itchy

Omeboy - Posted - 04/09/2019:  13:24:01

Finds his entire epidermis very itchy.

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/09/2019:  13:31:50

Read online that lead-based paint has an itch-relief component

OM45GE - Posted - 04/09/2019:  17:02:59

Doesn't understand humans at all despite living among them for many years and adopting some of their odd customs.

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/09/2019:  17:17:33

Dropped out of the human race

Omeboy - Posted - 04/09/2019:  17:19:09

Dropped out of a tree.

OM45GE - Posted - 04/09/2019:  18:10:57

Dropped something but doesn't know for sure what it was

Omeboy - Posted - 04/09/2019:  18:17:46

Tuned in, turned on, dropped out......

 

Edited by - Omeboy on 04/09/2019 18:19:57

OM45GE - Posted - 04/10/2019:  03:18:07

Ditto

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/10/2019:  04:32:55

this job pays good mileage rates

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/10/2019:  07:44:06

Used to have a job, but that was before he bought a banjo.

Omeboy - Posted - 04/10/2019:  08:01:09

Once paid ten thousand bananas for a picture of Jane Goodall in a bikini.

TheLastWord - Posted - 04/10/2019:  15:47:38

Purchased 10 acres on Bikini Atoll to build his retirement home.

Omeboy - Posted - 04/10/2019:  16:40:31

To score some politically correct points in Hollywood, he harshly criticized King Kong for wearing fur.

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/10/2019:  22:09:36

Has been picketed by the “Greenies” for donning lead-based paint

OM45GE - Posted - 04/11/2019:  03:11:27

Taking a stand against species shaming

Omeboy - Posted - 04/11/2019:  06:17:27

He just placed a Personal Ad in the free press: "For hire: incredibly handsome human lawn-ornament. Hourly or weekly rates. Clothing optional. Please----no freaks."

OM45GE - Posted - 04/11/2019:  07:45:17

You should see him under a black-light

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/11/2019:  08:42:40

On his way to the soup kitchen to harangue the “paying” customers

Omeboy - Posted - 04/11/2019:  09:30:40

He also just placed a Personal Ad in the free press: "Short, athletic, simian looking man wishes to meet tall, very hairy woman with very long arms. Object: swinging----------from branch to branch."