chuckv97 - Posted - 11/28/2016:  08:44:29

Know that a good bit of flatulance will clear the way

OM45GE - Posted - 11/28/2016:  11:11:16

Lead the way on a marathon shopping tour of the entire mall.

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/28/2016:  15:04:58

Mayhem and chaos drive you bananas

Edited by - chuckv97 on 11/28/2016 15:05:15

OM45GE - Posted - 11/29/2016:  03:22:02

Nap on the bench outside the mall. 

Forrest - Posted - 11/29/2016:  09:17:49

OMG, am I ever going to make it out of this place?

OM45GE - Posted - 11/29/2016:  11:04:37

Pretend you have a bad stomach ache and need to go home.

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/29/2016:  11:42:07

Quiet the boisterous hordes with a bull horn declaring a national emergency

OM45GE - Posted - 11/29/2016:  13:35:58

Read a book in the car.

Forrest - Posted - 11/29/2016:  13:52:33

Shop until you drop

OM45GE - Posted - 11/29/2016:  18:25:47

Take another couple Xanax. 

Forrest - Posted - 11/30/2016:  05:49:19

Understand that you're doomed.

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/30/2016:  06:09:47

Vow to never return

OM45GE - Posted - 11/30/2016:  07:53:57

Watch the people from your well chosen bench.

Forrest - Posted - 11/30/2016:  11:45:24

Xanax to the rescue.  

OM45GE - Posted - 11/30/2016:  12:26:20

Yell over the crowd to your wife that you're heading to the car and will wait there. Unfortunately, she thinks you said "bar" and is pissed off.

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/30/2016:  12:45:23

Zero in on a bargain, only to get elbowed in the face by a big groaning woman

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/30/2016:  12:48:44

Next: what happens when you take your dog to the park

Ask the groundskeeper to pick up your dog's deposits

Forrest - Posted - 11/30/2016:  13:52:13

Bark at the other dogs just to piss them off.

OM45GE - Posted - 11/30/2016:  16:09:02

Carry a big stick around and growl at any other dog making a move for it.

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/01/2016:  06:32:59

Devise a scheme to keep other beasts away

Forrest - Posted - 12/01/2016:  09:10:31

Eat dog biscuits as you walk around the park, glaring at the dogs.

OM45GE - Posted - 12/01/2016:  10:37:23

Fight with the other dogs.

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/01/2016:  10:40:45

Grab some bear spray at the outdoor store on the way to the park

OM45GE - Posted - 12/01/2016:  10:53:56

Have a nice time flirting with the cute woman with the Golden Retriever

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/01/2016:  21:15:40

Incense the cute woman's he-man boyfriend by showing him the email address she gave you

OM45GE - Posted - 12/02/2016:  02:42:51

Joke around with the cute woman. 

Forrest - Posted - 12/02/2016:  08:34:16

Keep up all appearances of being a dog lover while secretly lusting after cats.

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/02/2016:  08:57:30

Let your dog off the leash when he spots a cat

Forrest - Posted - 12/02/2016:  09:19:13

Make meowing sounds just to upset the dogs and make them bark.

OM45GE - Posted - 12/02/2016:  13:36:59

Nip from your hip flask

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/03/2016:  08:19:07

Order a pizza and some Gravy Train for delivery to the park

OM45GE - Posted - 12/03/2016:  12:35:26

Pick up the enormous pile of poop your dog has created. 

Forrest - Posted - 12/05/2016:  06:58:47

Question the nature of the universe and why cats and dogs just can't get along.

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/05/2016:  07:12:03

Realize that you're actually walking in a big canine "out"house

Forrest - Posted - 12/05/2016:  07:37:41

Stepping in dog doo every 5 feet.

OM45GE - Posted - 12/05/2016:  07:55:58

Take a long look at why you bought a dog in the first place.

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/05/2016:  07:58:13

Urge your mutt to run away, freeing you from all this indignity

OM45GE - Posted - 12/05/2016:  07:59:41

Vent your frustration over your poop covered shoes by drinking from your hip flask.

Forrest - Posted - 12/05/2016:  08:11:46

Wash down that Xanax with whatever's in your hip flask.

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/05/2016:  08:34:52

X-ray your dog to see if it has a straight gut and a hollow leg

OM45GE - Posted - 12/05/2016:  10:23:28

Yell at your dog for humping the other dogs.

Forrest - Posted - 12/06/2016:  09:41:02

Zig-zag around the park to make sure your dog has peed on everything that he/she can possibly pee on.

Forrest - Posted - 12/06/2016:  09:43:06

New topic:

Possible uses for duct tape.

Adult diapers

OM45GE - Posted - 12/06/2016:  11:35:22

Body repair on the car

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/06/2016:  12:28:19

Cracked banjo head

OM45GE - Posted - 12/06/2016:  12:35:13

Uhhhh, duct work?

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/07/2016:  07:48:41

Eliminating fan belt noise

OM45GE - Posted - 12/07/2016:  07:52:37

flypaper

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/08/2016:  21:21:18

Gargoyle repair