OM45GE - Posted - 12/14/2014:  15:09:50

I am an inmate in a hospital for the criminally insane. 

FRAILER57 - Posted - 12/14/2014:  19:55:50

Just leave a message after the tone: EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! (Air horn)

dmiller - Posted - 12/14/2014:  20:02:46

Kudos for trying.  Goodbye.  (Then hang up).

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/14/2014:  22:03:57

Let me guess- you're taking English as a Second Language classes

OM45GE - Posted - 12/15/2014:  06:44:21

My parents don't let me talk to strangers

dmiller - Posted - 12/15/2014:  13:27:23

No Hablo English

OM45GE - Posted - 12/15/2014:  14:04:56

Our prison warden doesn't allow us to order items by phone.

Scaggs7 - Posted - 12/15/2014:  14:50:02

put it where the sun don't shine

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/15/2014:  21:22:48

Quit your whining and get a real job

ErikH - Posted - 12/16/2014:  02:13:59

Recording.........this is a recording...........mailbox is full.........

OM45GE - Posted - 12/16/2014:  05:26:47

STOP CALLING THIS NUMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jistgreg - Posted - 12/16/2014:  10:14:01

Tell it to the Marines! 

OM45GE - Posted - 12/16/2014:  10:21:52

Upset, why would I be upset that you called just as we sat down to dinner to try and sell me something for which I have absolutely no desire?

Scaggs7 - Posted - 12/16/2014:  13:42:29

very upset

OM45GE - Posted - 12/16/2014:  13:55:37

We gave at the office.

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/17/2014:  08:47:51

X-Ray your brain- I think there's something amiss

OM45GE - Posted - 12/17/2014:  17:01:37

You have no idea how little I want to talk with you.

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/21/2014:  18:35:45

Zero must be your middle name

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/21/2014:  18:38:26

Next: name something to do on a winter vacation

- airmail myself to a tropical isle

Scaggs7 - Posted - 12/21/2014:  19:18:25

build a bigger fire

dmiller - Posted - 12/21/2014:  21:13:17

Cruise the Caribbean 

ErikH - Posted - 12/22/2014:  04:15:59

Dream of someplace warm.

OM45GE - Posted - 12/22/2014:  15:09:20

Ease on down the slopes.

Scaggs7 - Posted - 12/22/2014:  16:26:44

fishing

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/22/2014:  18:16:32

Glide across the frozen river on skates

Scaggs7 - Posted - 12/22/2014:  18:18:54

hiding from my wife

OM45GE - Posted - 12/23/2014:  13:49:55

idle away the time on a tropical beach

Scaggs7 - Posted - 12/24/2014:  15:19:03

jump on a ski lift

jistgreg - Posted - 12/25/2014:  02:08:29

Keep warm by hook or by crook.  

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/25/2014:  07:36:35

Leave this frozen real estate and head south lickety-split.

Scaggs7 - Posted - 12/25/2014:  08:31:23

move to a warmer place

jistgreg - Posted - 12/25/2014:  08:50:13

Nationalize the ski resorts!   

Scaggs7 - Posted - 12/25/2014:  09:35:54

open the car door

OM45GE - Posted - 12/25/2014:  15:15:45

Party 

Scaggs7 - Posted - 12/25/2014:  15:37:22

quit drinking

jistgreg - Posted - 12/25/2014:  15:50:00

Return presents for refunds. 

OM45GE - Posted - 12/25/2014:  17:01:49

ski in the alps.

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/25/2014:  17:43:39

Take a walk on the wild side in Vegas

Scaggs7 - Posted - 12/25/2014:  17:51:47

unite at the center

jistgreg - Posted - 12/25/2014:  21:36:47

Volunteer at a homeless shelter and/or a soup kitchen. 

OM45GE - Posted - 12/26/2014:  06:06:54

Water ski

TheLastWord - Posted - 12/28/2014:  04:20:41

Xena's hot tube party

jistgreg - Posted - 12/28/2014:  04:39:57

Yodel and cause an avalanche. 

OM45GE - Posted - 12/29/2014:  05:46:03

Zip line over to Xena's hot tube party

 

OM45GE - Posted - 12/29/2014:  05:46:52

New topic, things you wouldn't want to do on vacation:

Appendectomy

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/29/2014:  06:48:36

Bail water out of a sinking boat

OM45GE - Posted - 12/29/2014:  08:34:46

catch the flu

jistgreg - Posted - 12/29/2014:  09:27:22

Die. 

OM45GE - Posted - 12/29/2014:  10:05:26

eat tainted food.