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blamethebanjo |
That is what I feel like I have done all too often.Every time I awake and fail to give thanks for another new day and another chance to get it right I have done a disservice.All too often I have taken for granted the miracle of life and the bounty of blessings that have been bestowed upon me through these many short years.Short because they go by so fast,many because when I look back they seem forever in my memory.
As time passes I think of things that as a young man I never considered.Things like how will I be remembered by those who knew me.No doubt there have been lives touched for some the memories are not pleasant.Too many times I have spoken foolishly and out of turn.I have given my opinion when silence was called for.I have made comments without them being based on facts.I can only hope that I have made things right.I pray I have.
I had a very disturbing dream about myself last night that has my thoughts running in this vein.I found myself in a setting much like a classroom but for adults.I was being unruly and hateful to everyone there.Causing problems for all within my reach.This went on until I was bodily forced to leave the establishment.I had turned on my closest friends with no thought of the outcome.
Finally I was alone, sitting alone on the ground with my head in my hands.Outwardly the rage seemed to be unchanged but inside I was heartbroken and crying.The sadness was so that I thought I would die.When I awoke I thought how so many times I have acted out of hurt or disapointment with anger when inside I was broken and weeping.
Before I close let me give thanks for another day to try make things right.Let me be remembered as a friend to rich and poor alike.I am thankful and need to express it more than I have.I give thanks to The Lord for allowing me to see myself.I thank Him for the disire to do better.
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