Banjophobic - Posted - 07/17/2014:  08:25:24

After reading the plethora of bridge threads (ugggh) and 'intonation', I though I would add another perspective, which is from someone who is also a long time professional musician. To put it bluntly, the amount of obsession with nearly 'perfect' intonation and all this talk about bridges correcting it, etc is just not something I have seen amongst the vast majority of professional banjoists over the almost 30 years of performing. Most all the professional players I have had the privilege of discussing all the banjo 'stuff' with over the years realize the limitations of tempered tuning, the banjos scale,etc and well, just don't seem to be bothered with it. They just play and don't obsess about it as we see it here. 

What does this mean? While I am no genius, it is apparent to me that it means that their ears 'learn' to adapt to tempered tuning and that their technique also adapts. About all these players learn to finesse left and right hand attack to arrive at very pleasing tone and intonation. This is why most of them I think decided to go for tone in a bridge ,and not 'intonation correction' ,as the first and most important prerequisite in choosing it. Most well made banjos have great inherent intonation, within the built in parameters of the 'flawed 'system and do not really need any compensation. That does not mean some players choose a compensated bridge ,since some obviously do. But to be fair, the percentage of them using compensated ones would likely fall in the 10% or less range. Since all these players perform and record with straight bridges and do not constantly tinker with compensation or seem to even discuss it ad nauseam, it is fair to say it is not a big deal. Again, they just 'play' the banjo and learn to deal with whatever small tempering issues there are. Some players will slant a straight bridge to help with some notes, some do not. But for the most part it isn't something that gets our ' undershorts in a wad', as the saying goes,haha.

None of this is me saying that anyone here must diss compensated bridges because some pros don't use them. Everyone chooses what their ears tell them too. But I think that looking at how professional players do not obsess over this topic and just play the dang banjo, might give some clue to how the general banjo populace might be leaning toward ODC over it. There are some great compensated bridges out there that also sound excellent, like Authur's, for instance. But ultimately I think you should choose the bridge that brings out the best tone and volume for your banjos set up and your playing skills. Most likely, the intonation on your banjo will be fine if its well made, set up well ,and you learn to control it better with your technique.

Hopefully no one will start lighting the bonfire and grab the pitchforks,haha. I thought maybe an honest answer from someone who sees this from the 'other side' might be of some value to someone wondering and possibly starting to obsess over it. I think as you develop as a player and your ears learn to adapt, some of this 'issue' will become a 'non-issue'. Anyway, this is just my two cents to the 50 bucks of discussion..

Edited by - Banjophobic on 07/17/2014 08:30:35

Laurence Diehl - Posted - 07/17/2014:  08:50:20

John, I couldn't agree more. I just make sure that my (straight) bridge is positioned correctly on the head, then I let it rip. I might adjust my tuning if I am playing in a different key - like out of C for example. There may be a few areas, or combination of notes that sound a little out - I either avoid those, or adjust my technique accordingly.

But you realize that this attitude is going to get us into BIG trouble! I mean - what would people talk about on forums if we all thought this way?

chas5strings - Posted - 07/17/2014:  08:52:48

Well said!

Banjophobic - Posted - 07/17/2014:  08:53:07

quote:

---

Originally posted by Laurence Diehl

John, I couldn't agree more. I just make sure that my (straight) bridge is positioned correctly on the head, then I let it rip. I might adjust my tuning if I am playing in a different key - like out of C for example. There may be a few areas, or combination of notes that sound a little out - I either avoid those, or adjust my technique accordingly.

But you realize that this attitude is going to get us into BIG trouble! I mean - what would people talk about on forums if we all thought this way?

---

Exactly..adjust and move on. Err, it could be interpreted as "let them eat cake"....{gulp}...haha. That was certainly not my intent although I love a good cake. 

Earls 5 - Posted - 07/17/2014:  08:53:38

Slam out of pop corn but I will be at the ready with peanut butter/cheese crackers!

Fine point John and agreed.

Bart Veerman - Posted - 07/17/2014:  08:59:07

John wrote: "it is apparent to me that it means that their ears 'learn' to adapt to tempered tuning and that their technique also adapts"

A real nice way of putting it John. When I listen to my favourite banjo heroes, whether on recordings or live performances, I never hear them being out of tune as they're playing. Well, one notable exception, I heard Butch Robins kicking off a tune once and it sounded totally weird. He stopped playing and retuned because that particular song needed a completely different tuning altogether. So yes, they must have adapted extremely well.

The way these folks have adapted and whatever they did/do to make that happen so they can put up with the shortcomings/imperfections of the banjo - I've often wondered if that perhaps that might just be THE secret ingredient making Earl sound like Earl, Reno sound like Reno etc.

pickNgrin - Posted - 07/17/2014:  09:02:14

I agree. Any time I read on here about things like this, equipment of the day, etc, etc, I think to myself "how did Earl, Ralph, JD, Sonny, etc manage to sound so great without it". That filter is always in the back of my mind.

Edited by - pickNgrin on 07/17/2014 09:03:53

banjoy - Posted - 07/17/2014:  09:03:34

Well stated.

I've read only a few of these lengthy threads (on this topic) and just shake my head. Wow. All I know is, I've tried compensated bridges before and to my ear they muck things up worse. I have / have used a straight bridge on every banjo I've ever owned and they sound just great to my ear. The Nechville Athena that Tom made for me uses a straight bridge (Nechville bridge) and that banjo intones as perfectly (as one can get on a banjo) all the way up and down the neck.

But I'm for whatever works, and to each his own. But I agree, there does seem to be obsessive-compulsive stuff going on over this topic...

Edited by - banjoy on 07/17/2014 09:04:03

steve davis - Posted - 07/17/2014:  09:07:44

I make my decisions on user friendliness of the banjo.

If it requires nothing but being tuned up initially my work is done.

Tomcat - Posted - 07/17/2014:  09:07:50

Bravo🎓

lazyarcher - Posted - 07/17/2014:  09:15:51

Thanks John for another of your well thought out, well presented professional perspectives.

The intonation/bridge debate (if you can call it that) has of late taken on a level of absurdity that could easily mislead readers looking for factual info.

You've hit it on the head here. There is no perfect intonation, there is no perfect neck, or setup, or bridge, or strings...its a banjo. No absolutes. All banjos are going to vary with their degree of intonation issues. Correct them as you see fit, and then learn to play. 

Learn to play...what a novel idea.

How often have you seen this though? Substituting parts, adjustments, tools, trinkets, in an attempt to find some magic panacea that will allow them to create THE sound, THE banjo, all the while neglecting the important piece..learning to play.

How many times have we heard statements like " Ron Stewart/Jim Mills/JD Crowe/etc can make a $100 banjo sound great". They can because they can play the banjo.

Tic-toc Tic-toc...

Edited by - lazyarcher on 07/17/2014 09:29:47

Earls 5 - Posted - 07/17/2014:  09:18:25

Now we all knew it would happen. 

rudy - Posted - 07/17/2014:  09:34:35

Very well said, John.

After playing in bands for the past thirty years I totally agree from the player's perspective.  Use whatever bridge trips your trigger, sweeten your tuning a bit for the key you're using, and play.  Simple.

I sometimes jump in to the "bridge debates", lay down a track or two in the beginning and then run for cover.

I have no need to banter with the opined about subjects that bring out the armchair physicists.

Rick Turner - Posted - 07/17/2014:  09:37:09

Some are not armchair!

And I believe I stated many posts ago that many good musicians have intonation in their fingertips. And then a decent bridge doesn't hurt.

But some players will sound horrible no matter how good the tool...

Banjophobic - Posted - 07/17/2014:  09:39:25

Thanks Rick, and no I am no 'anti-compensated bridges' at all. It is just the level of 'need' all of a sudden is bewildering to me, from a professional standpoint. 

Rick Turner - Posted - 07/17/2014:  10:07:51

Well, it's mostly been about a desire to sell something, hasn't it?

Tim Purcell - Posted - 07/17/2014:  10:17:09

Good post, John!... I agree totally.....it's really about the playing...tuning is just a part of it.

BTW, I read this the other day......"If you feel like your being drawn into some ones drama.... remember......it's not your circus and it's not your monkey.......just drop the bananas and walk away"

Tim

G Edward Porgie - Posted - 07/17/2014:  10:49:29

There isn't an instrument made by man that has perfect intonation; in fact there have been centuries of discussion over just exactly what perfect intonation really is and what changes should be made to that perfection.

If a person listens to an orchestra closely or gazes on a score, the truth stands out. "Horns in F," Eb clarinet or Bb clarinet, harp tuned in Cb. Violins don't have frets, and every ear hears just slightly differently. A piano, although nominally tuned to A440, has to have its octaves stretched, and some of its strings (most notably the bass) are wild and can't even be tuned to themselves let alone to one an octave higher or lower. When the harpist steps on his/her pedals, the entire tuning can shift. An overblown trumpet fifth will never match an equal tempered piano note. It's the vibrato produced between these slight pitch differences that produce the characteristic orchestra sound in the first place.

The same can be said for the characteristic banjo/guitar, banjo/dixieland band, or banjo/mandolin combination. The instruments all have their own issues, and a little bit of "off key" is always part of the whole.

Whatever works for a player in any particular context is what's important, and by "works" I don't mean an unattainable perfection. To me it's never worth strenuous study or endless debate. If a banjo guy likes pitch compensation, let him at it. I'm all for a different type of compensation, though: monetary.

Crusty - Posted - 07/17/2014:  11:03:26

"Tuning is overrated"  I once heard said at a BG jam. 

Dan Drabek - Posted - 07/17/2014:  11:07:15

I think much of the instrument upgrades we see, are driven by the same logic that causes tennis players to buy a new racquet or a golfer to buy a new driver. As if we can become more skilled if we spend enough money. 

DD

rudy - Posted - 07/17/2014:  11:31:46

quote:

---

Originally posted by Rick Turner

Some are not armchair!



And I believe I stated many posts ago that many good musicians have intonation in their fingertips. And then a decent bridge doesn't hurt.



But some players will sound horrible no matter how good the tool...

---

The real physicists I have no problem with.  The armchair variety are a whole different thing.

I can smell the pseudoscientific perspective a block away.

Kenneth Logsdon - Posted - 07/17/2014:  11:37:38

 Thumbs up John.. well put post..

The quote from another thread really fits...  "The greatest enemy of knowledge is not Ignorance...It is the illusion of knowledge".

That is a very profound Statement..

CliffK - Posted - 07/17/2014:  12:07:34

Coming to the banjo from playing pedal steel guitar for years, I can tell you that the issue of intonation is nothing here compared to what goes on with steel players. Go the steel guitar forum and you will see what I mean. People have very elaborate rigs with added-on mechanical tuning compensators that adjust certain strings when certain pedals or levers are engaged, and complex tempered tuning charts. It gets very Rube Goldbergish. Of course the irony is that the tone and style most steel players admire and emulate is that of the first and second generation masters who set the standards on simple seat-ups and correct bar control. With any instrument I am all for using what ever is at our disposal to get the best tone, but I know that most of it is going to come from my hands/head and I need as much hands-on time as possible to get there.

RawhideCreek - Posted - 07/17/2014:  12:57:55

quote:

---

Originally posted by Rick Turner

Some are not armchair!

---

And some are not physicists.  I am an engineer.  

steen - Posted - 07/17/2014:  13:24:21

I will definitely keep my straight bridge for two reasons. It has precisely the sound I like. And. I don´t like the looks of a crooked bridge on an oldtime banjo. Besides I have lived happy with it since I made my banjo back in 1984.
But that is also the only reasons.
Because why else would I chose a life with more tuning than I have to?
Why would I chose a solution that don´t allow the frets to express (as exact as we can get it) the tones they are ment for on every string. I can´t find a good answer for that. Can you? Steen

P. S. Tomcat an Earls5. Irony and sarcasm and smart outbursts or oneliners are not welcome anymore. I think we have seen much more than enough of that, so let us stop it here.

Tim Purcell - Posted - 07/17/2014:  13:56:17

quote:

---

Originally posted by steen

I will definitely keep my straight bridge for two reasons. It has precisely the sound I like. And. I don´t like the looks of a crooked bridge on an oldtime banjo. Besides I have lived happy with it since I made my banjo back in 1984.

But that is also the only reasons.

Because why else would I chose a life with more tuning than I have to?

Why would I chose a solution that don´t allow the frets to express (as exact as we can get it) the tones they are ment for on every string. I can´t find a good answer for that. Can you? Steen



P. S. Tomcat an Earls5. Irony and sarcasm and smart outbursts or oneliners are not welcome anymore. I think we have seen much more than enough of that, so let us stop it here.

---

I'm pretty sure Tom was referring to John's first post here.

Tim

steen - Posted - 07/17/2014:  14:08:05

It was the second post I referred to?  But let us not make this a discussion, but rather go on with the subject.  Steen

BlowingRockNC - Posted - 07/17/2014:  14:13:58

I agree with most everything written here today. On the other hand, I just today ordered a compensated bridge from Steve Davis. Why? I have a number of banjos, and I can reach an acceptable range of tuning and tonal quality on all of them. All except for one, that is. My only A-Scale has been causing me lots of trouble getting it to play and sound right. I've tried most everything, so I decided to try Steve' bridge. I think folks should keep an open mind on these types of things. It sometimes takes just a little bitty something to make a huge change on a banjo, so why not try. Today, I also was able to find a good way to work around my major problem with the A-Scale, so go figure. I'm hoping that Steve's bridge adds a little more. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I'm certainly no expert, so my views are those of a relatively inexperienced player, and not an expert. Steve seems like a straight shooter, and I like his direct approach to problems. I hope his bridge works, but I won't be disappointed if it fails to achieve perfection, since I don't figure I'll every find that in my lifetime.

Rick Turner - Posted - 07/17/2014:  14:28:22

"I can smell the pseudoscientific perspective a block away."

Rucy, I'd be interested in what that has been posted on the BHO you consider to be pseudoscientific.

BTW, I'm not challenging you on this; I'm not trying to set up a cat fight; I'd just like to know where we (all of us here) may find some common language to describe what's going on with the physics and acoustics of banjos.

And...it doesn't take a college degree for someone to talk intelligently about physics or engineering. A lifetime of work in the right field(s) will do quite nicely for that.

steve davis - Posted - 07/17/2014:  14:41:35

I was surprised to discover the importance of 1st fret to strings clearance.

I feel this varies a lot even within brands and especially if the nut is replaced.I think this is one of the biggest reasons that make one banjo intonate so much worse or better than another.

When I figured that out I made all my banjos the same .011 clearance to the first fret.

They all play with very much the same feel.

Edited by - steve davis on 07/17/2014 14:43:46

Rick Turner - Posted - 07/17/2014:  15:24:33

Rudy, sorry for the spelling!

rudy - Posted - 07/17/2014:  16:12:29

quote:

---

Originally posted by Rick Turner

"I can smell the pseudoscientific perspective a block away."



Rucy, I'd be interested in what that has been posted on the BHO you consider to be pseudoscientific.



BTW, I'm not challenging you on this; I'm not trying to set up a cat fight; I'd just like to know where we (all of us here) may find some common language to describe what's going on with the physics and acoustics of banjos.



And...it doesn't take a college degree for someone to talk intelligently about physics or engineering. A lifetime of work in the right field(s) will do quite nicely for that.

---

Hi Rick,

I know you may be sincerely interested in what I consider "pseudoscientific perspective", but unfortunately I can't give you any examples without singling out some of who I consider perpetrators of that behavior.  Although I have my "short list" I have no need or desire to do that, as it's against my principals and doesn't fit into what I consider as polite rapport here on the Hangout.

I've been following posts (and contributing where I feel I have something worthy to offer) for many years.  You're a smart guy and I'm sure I don't need to point out pseudo science to you.  Some of it is associated with folks that you have recently butted heads with here, and we DO NOT need to re-visit that.

Pseudo science comes to mind each time I read some ridiculous statement about how sound behaves that relates to someone's imagination rather than having any scientific basis.  To my mind it's quite obvious and I have to really bite my tongue, but I prefer that to getting topics locked.  That ain't my style. Most of the Hangout readers are very intelligent and can separate the wheat from the chaff for themselves.  Occasionally someone "spits Coke on their keyboard" as a result of reading posts here, but that's the price of cheap entertainment.

Stick around long enough and you'll read the " my rim is special cause the sound goes round and round without ever passing Go" posts.

Edited by - rudy on 07/17/2014 16:17:18

Rick Turner - Posted - 07/17/2014:  16:28:19

Rudy, thank you, and I appreciate your contributions and your sense of humor...and discretion.

steve davis - Posted - 07/17/2014:  16:35:56

Consistency can be dialed in.

RawhideCreek - Posted - 07/17/2014:  16:37:09

quote:

---

Originally posted by Rick Turner

 . . . it doesn't take a college degree for someone to talk intelligently about physics or engineering. A lifetime of work in the right field(s) will do quite nicely for that.

---

It also helps to (a) know what you don't know, (b) have an open mind, and (c) be willing to be instructed.  (Good adivce also for life in general . . . )

steve davis - Posted - 07/17/2014:  16:39:32

It's callewd paying attention around here.

Rick Turner - Posted - 07/17/2014:  16:53:23

Then why isn't consistency dialed in in a factory setting, Steve?

Two reasons: 1) Poor employee training, 2) Time pressure to meet production numbers.

Been there, seen that, and have a small instrument factory myself now.

Action at the nut is very important to us, though we have no idea what eventual gauge of strings the instruments will carry.

Action at the bridge...and intonation...is for when the eventual owner decides upon string brand, gauge, relief desired in the neck, and action height at the bridge.

Dan Drabek - Posted - 07/17/2014:  16:56:24

quote:

---

Originally posted by rudy

Hi Rick,

I know you may be sincerely interested in what I consider "pseudoscientific perspective", but unfortunately I can't give you any examples without singling out some of who I consider perpetrators of that behavior.  Although I have my "short list" I have no need or desire to do that, as it's against my principals and doesn't fit into what I consider as polite rapport here on the Hangout.

I've been following posts (and contributing where I feel I have something worthy to offer) for many years.  You're a smart guy and I'm sure I don't need to point out pseudo science to you.  Some of it is associated with folks that you have recently butted heads with here, and we DO NOT need to re-visit that.

Pseudo science comes to mind each time I read some ridiculous statement about how sound behaves that relates to someone's imagination rather than having any scientific basis.  To my mind it's quite obvious and I have to really bite my tongue, but I prefer that to getting topics locked.  That ain't my style. Most of the Hangout readers are very intelligent and can separate the wheat from the chaff for themselves.  Occasionally someone "spits Coke on their keyboard" as a result of reading posts here, but that's the price of cheap entertainment.

Stick around long enough and you'll read the " my rim is special cause the sound goes round and round without ever passing Go" posts.

---

Well said Rudy. I respect both you and Rick very highly and am glad to see a civil interchange. For a change.

Rudy: I've had the good fortune to visit Rick at his shop, and seen the extraordinary level of his craftsmanship on the traditional--hand built level, as well as on the highest technical, computerized level. This forum was given a great gift when Rick became part of our community. I build differently, at my own pace, but then I don't build remotely as many instruments as does Rick. His work is in high demand, by musicians of the highest levels, and that demand has been earned through quite a few decades of superior work--most of which occurred far earlier than the invention of CNC production. 

Rick: Rudy is one of the most selflessly helpful persons on this forum, and has shared his knowledge with novice banjo builders for much longer than I've been a member of this forum. Rudy is a minimalist when it comes to design, but his craftsmanship is as flawless as any I have seen,  and he's been an inspiration to me in my own work--even though we may have different esthetic preferences. And he is a magician at coming up with clever, simple, inexpensive, but amazingly effective ways to accomplish some of the more difficult procedures a banjo maker will encounter. And he's been incredibly generous with his findings--as have you.

I won't even get into the work of Ken LeVan. Like Rudy, his contributions are epic. And when he finishes his book, I'll be at the front of the line to buy one. 

There's been a bit of friction lately on this forum, and I worry that some of our best contributors could get annoyed enough to go away. That would be a big loss to everyone. This is forum for sharing knowledge. And there is plenty of that here to be shared. 

Also I have to give special thanks to Rudy for another keyboard splatter--with his comment about the magic rim of never-ending sound production. I suspect Rick will enjoy that one next time it goes round and round.

DD

rudy - Posted - 07/17/2014:  17:05:30

Thanks Dan, You're no slouch yourself!

I'm not going anywhere anytime soon.

Unless it's my time for the pine box... (poplar box???)

Dan Drabek - Posted - 07/17/2014:  17:07:00

I would recommend an Osage Orange box.  :->

DD

ScratchJohnson - Posted - 07/17/2014:  18:17:08

I take the online lessons with Tony Trischka and when I read the giant threads obsessing over all the little intricacies, I think about the fact that Tony tweaks his banjo tuning a smidge here and there so often it cracks me up. So I figure, meh, must not be that big a deal 

Rick Turner - Posted - 07/17/2014:  18:22:07

I'll go for the spalted sycamore box...it'll rot out faster than anything and my ashes will go to the soil nicely and quickly

Or as my departed mother wrote in a poem, "Ashes to fishes and dust to rust..." She was a pretty well published poet in her writing days...late 1940s into the 1950s.

rudy - Posted - 07/17/2014:  18:44:58

quote:

---

Originally posted by Rick Turner

I'll go for the spalted sycamore box...it'll rot out faster than anything and my ashes will go to the soil nicely and quickly



Or as my departed mother wrote in a poem, "Ashes to fishes and dust to rust..." She was a pretty well published poet in her writing days...late 1940s into the 1950s.

---

The "Ashes to.." verse structure must be universally appealing to the poetically inclined.

I always liked Uncle Dave's "Morning Blues", the second verse, "Ashes to ashes, and dust to dust.  Show me a woman that a man can trust".

The last verse is my favorite, though.  "See that man, with the hair over his mouth.  Looks like he swallowed a mule and left the tail hanging out."

Uncle Dave was very politically incorrect, but lots of great stuff has been mined from his catalog.

BlowingRockNC - Posted - 07/17/2014:  19:20:03

Per the most recent postings, it sure is nice to see so many folks remembering what's truly important in life. Just saying.

From Greylock to Bean Blossom - Posted - 07/17/2014:  19:59:26

John Boulding,

Why do you think "most" compensated bridges do not have as good a tone as straight bridges. I have heard this said for years, but I will say I have a Hatfield on my banjo now and love the tone. 

I am not trying to get you into a controversy. In your original post you said there were some compensated with great tone.

thanks,

Ken

Edited by - From Greylock to Bean Blossom on 07/17/2014 20:00:54

Banjophobic - Posted - 07/17/2014:  20:14:23

quote:

---

Originally posted by From Greylock to Bean Blossom

John Boulding,

Why do you think "most" compensated bridges do not have as good a tone as straight bridges. I have heard this said for years, but I will say I have a Hatfield on my banjo now and love the tone. 

I am not trying to get you into a controversy. In your original post you said there were some compensated with great tone? 

 

 

thanks,

Ken

---

I really don't know,..it's wood after all. There are too many X factors involved  for me to say for sure . Maybe it's the amount of mass, shape of it or wood used. My  reasoning is based on professional observations over the years. If the vast majority so professional players don't use a compensated bridge, it is usually for two main reasons: their banjos intonation is good enough not to need one and or the tone of the bridge isn't as good as most straight bridges. 

this isn't to say you won't be able to find a compensated bridge that sounds great on your banjo  but that is true of any bridge. You try them until one mates to what you like to hear, regardless. But my own observations in my repair shop with a couple thousand banjos and a host of bridges is that straight bridges sound better, across the board, by percentage, on many banjos  verses compensated.  Of course someone here  ah totally dispute it and say they have just as many different brands of compensated bridges that always sound good verses a straight ones. I am just relating my personal experiences and what I have observed and discussed with lots of fellow pro players over years.

regardless of what bridge you use, there still appears to be an almost obsessive level of tuning/ intonation  scrutiny and attention to minutia surrounding it on forums like these.  It baffles me sometimes. 

RawhideCreek - Posted - 07/17/2014:  20:19:15

quote:

---

Originally posted by From Greylock to Bean Blossom

John Boulding,

Why do you think "most" compensated bridges do not have as good a tone as straight bridges. I have heard this said for years, but I will say I have a Hatfield on my banjo now and love the tone. 

I am not trying to get you into a controversy. In your original post you said there were some compensated with great tone.

thanks,

Ken

---

Ken, you invite thread catastrophe.

From Greylock to Bean Blossom - Posted - 07/17/2014:  20:44:23

JOhn B.

Thanks for your reply and information. Always appreciate learning from you.

ken

Ps.

Rawhide, I hope I didn't.  it was an honest question that I had had for  years.

Edited by - From Greylock to Bean Blossom on 07/17/2014 20:46:19

Rick Turner - Posted - 07/17/2014:  21:30:17

Stay tuned for minute by minute, blow by blow descriptions of a blood-bath to follow...

Headline and lede (that's newspaper-talk):

"Intonated Bridge Tone Sucks!"

More news at 11:00.

Too bad that other events trump this in the headlines, innit?