OM45GE - Posted - 03/09/2013:  02:49:36

It's in the app store next to iScream.

gregsquared - Posted - 03/09/2013:  03:11:02

We all scream for iceCream. 

OM45GE - Posted - 03/09/2013:  05:06:52

You've got a point there, turn it upside down and we can use it for a cone.

randyz714 - Posted - 03/09/2013:  08:42:17

i wonder ...when Dr Frankenstein put the bolts in the monsters neck....did he go the hardware store and say:..."you know, bolts....for his neck"

OM45GE - Posted - 03/09/2013:  10:33:40

Do you wanna screw for those bolts?

BigMonFan - Posted - 03/09/2013:  11:27:49

I guess not, I've already got a penny, screw an a nickel in my pocket right now so I don't reckon I need two screws.

OM45GE - Posted - 03/09/2013:  11:34:02

Don't worry, the dog doesn't bite.

BigMonFan - Posted - 03/09/2013:  11:38:03

Just like in the stock market, an animals past history is no guarantee of its future performance.

gregsquared - Posted - 03/09/2013:  11:50:58

Just like in the stockyard, an animal's past history guarantees no future. 

OM45GE - Posted - 03/09/2013:  12:00:12

We can predict their future:

FHoA

BigMonFan - Posted - 03/09/2013:  12:00:56

Just like in the future everything before is in the past.

OM45GE - Posted - 03/09/2013:  12:01:53

The past is a little behind.

BigMonFan - Posted - 03/09/2013:  12:03:04

...or to a bull most everything of value is in his pasture.

OM45GE - Posted - 03/09/2013:  12:05:03

Unless of course he's in a feed lot.

BigMonFan - Posted - 03/09/2013:  12:10:23

In that case he's probably fed up with his lot in the feed lot unless he gets fed a lot of feed.

OM45GE - Posted - 03/09/2013:  12:24:21

If I tell you that was corny I hope you know I mean it as a compliment. 

mbanjo - Posted - 03/09/2013:  13:00:19

Well....that was a load of bull:-)

OM45GE - Posted - 03/09/2013:  13:57:08

I just want to try it once.

mbanjo - Posted - 03/09/2013:  14:27:15

Is a nod as good as a wink? Or is the wink better than the nod?

OM45GE - Posted - 03/09/2013:  16:29:20

That sounds like it has something to do with Einstein's theory of relativity.

mbanjo - Posted - 03/09/2013:  17:08:40

or the intricate secrets of Rudolph hess's prison diary, recently found in the queens private library

OM45GE - Posted - 03/10/2013:  08:39:11

Strange and savage man, that.

mbanjo - Posted - 03/10/2013:  13:17:00

I think all of hitlers henchmen were the same?

OM45GE - Posted - 03/10/2013:  16:31:09

It's pretty hard to comprehend.

mbanjo - Posted - 03/10/2013:  23:43:37

The more I read about it, the more confused I get...,

randyz714 - Posted - 03/11/2013:  07:45:43

wasnt it Hess who hung himself with an electrical cord?.....shocking~

gregsquared - Posted - 03/11/2013:  08:54:14

I read the end of the diary -- nothing there about how  he died -- curious omission! 

mbanjo - Posted - 03/11/2013:  12:32:11

Good guess, yes, hess

gregsquared - Posted - 03/11/2013:  13:27:09

After I snuck the diary out of the queen's library, they doubled the guard. 

How do I sneak it back in? 

mbanjo - Posted - 03/11/2013:  13:48:39

Display your crown jewels, and then sneak in while they all have their hands over their eyes

gregsquared - Posted - 03/11/2013:  14:09:08

I don't have any joules!  (Joule = a unit of work or energy equal to the work done by a force of one newton acting through a distance of one meter.)  I'm sedimentary!  Even typing an exclamation point wears...  me...  out....  !  (I do like me my newtons, though.  I tried to join the Newton Force, but I flunked the physical when I dropped the meter about a yard.) 

dat - Posted - 03/11/2013:  14:21:27

I like fig newtons

mbanjo - Posted - 03/11/2013:  14:30:03

Olivia Newton John was a favorite of mine

gregsquared - Posted - 03/11/2013:  14:55:00

Mr. Newton Minow once called American television a "vast wasteland," and thus he ensconced himself in my heart as my favorite fish.  (or was it enfished himself as my favorite sconce?)  (My head hurts....) 

dmiller - Posted - 03/11/2013:  15:07:26

I think Isaac Newton's 1st law has flaws.

The older I get it doesn't take an external force to slow me down.

dat - Posted - 03/12/2013:  05:55:36

I don't bounce near as well as I did when I was younger either

gregsquared - Posted - 03/12/2013:  06:40:29

A girl who weighed many an oz.

Used language I dare not pronoz.

For a fellow unkind

Pulled her chair out behind,

Just to see, so he said, if she'd boz. 

mbanjo - Posted - 03/12/2013:  13:06:01

Hooker in the police station. The Police officer asked "so when did you realise you were raped ?" She replied "when the check bounced!"

dat - Posted - 03/12/2013:  14:15:51

she probably knew most of the men there

gregsquared - Posted - 03/12/2013:  15:13:08

Which one gave her the dime? 

mbanjo - Posted - 03/12/2013:  19:22:07

The blind one...........but she gave him 5 cents change

OM45GE - Posted - 03/15/2013:  06:51:37

I've been saving an hour of daylight for a week now and don't have anything to show for it.

dat - Posted - 03/15/2013:  09:33:47

I waste mine in the morning so I can use it in the evening

OM45GE - Posted - 03/15/2013:  10:46:27

There are a lot of good reasons to say yes to that offer.

dat - Posted - 03/16/2013:  08:11:38

I like the daylight savings time better than real time, real time wouldn't be bad if we would start to work at 6:30 instead of 7:30

BigMonFan - Posted - 03/20/2013:  07:25:29

I'm living on borrowed time. I got it from a feller who had way too much time on his hands anyhow.

dat - Posted - 03/20/2013:  08:04:08

I must have small hands, I can't hold on to much time

gregsquared - Posted - 03/20/2013:  09:27:50

Time is on my side. 

antiktime.com%2Fguide%2...3012443666" id="irc_mil">

roxygrl - Posted - 03/20/2013:  12:10:30

Did you hear about the gif ..who wouldn't stop?