"Michael Gregory was a man of many parts........ So many of which stopped working, that we are gathered here today...."

-Pastor Gneeze-

"Michael Gregory was a man of many parts........ So many of which stopped working, that we are gathered here today...."

-Pastor Gneeze-

Is there an ECHO in here??

...ECHO in here???

I went for Chinese Food last night and got to chatting with the waiter. He told me he lived in Japan during the war and was a Kamikaze pilot. He told me his code name was "Chow Mein".

I said, "Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't Kamakaze pilots sacrifice their own lives?" To which he replied, " Yes, but I was Chicken Chow Mein..."

I was in a bar & said loudly. What do you do if someone is having a seizure in the bathtub?  Throw in a load of laundry!! Everybody laughed.  Just then a guy jumped up & was really offended. 

He said my brother died like that! I said Did he drown?

He said No he choked on a sock! 

"Michael Gregory was good at EVERYTHING he tried.....

Except, obviously, SWIMMING!"

-Pastor Gneeze-

Late at night, after driving halfway across Wisconsin, Rev. Arthur Gneeze was falling asleep at the wheel.

Pulled into the parking lot of a closed business, to rest up.

But shortly after he dozed off,  the night watchman rapped on the van's window and said,

"Get your goddam van off our goddam lot, you sonova beach!"

To which the VERY offended reverend replied

"You shouldn't speak like that to me! I'm pastor Gneeze!!"

To which the Watchman replied "I don't care if you're past her panty line! You can't park here!"

.

quote:

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Originally posted by mike gregory

"Michael Gregory was a man of many parts........ So many of which stopped working, that we are gathered here today...."

-Pastor Gneeze-

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My driver's license has list on the back of all the parts I need!
Quagmire

Seriously:
Somebody didn't wash hands before making me a sandwich, and I got hepatitis, so I cannot be a blood or organ donor.
But I can leave my body for the med students to dissect.

Is that your nose or are you eating a banana?

Are those your legs or are you riding a chicken?

The last time I saw legs like that, a chain was tied around them and someone was feeding it peanuts.

youtu.be/xS5zNX2zVbk

I LOVE THAT SONG, MAN!

A Blue Jay applied for the receptionists job at the new AT&T headquarters.
The interviewer, a bit non-plussed, told the Jay that the candidate had to be able to type at least 80 words per minute.
The Jay demonstrated a 100 wpm talent!
Not wanting to hire a BIRD for the job, the interviewer told the Jay that the candidate had to be able to take dictation.
The Jay surpassed all other candidates.
Finally the interviewer thought he'd be able to get rid of the Jay with "the candidate must be bilingual!"
The Jay replied "Meow!!"

youtu.be/-ileD6iyDJ0