Hard to believe that the good Captain had been a marine in his younger days.  Even harder to imagine him busting his hump through Paris Island, but I guess he got it done.  Back then he would have never guessed that he would be periodically dressed down by a small rodent wearing horn-rimmed glasses.

http://www.gocomics.com/freerange?ct=v&cti=2090270

I thought this was funny enough to share.

quote:

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Originally posted by Omeboy
 

Hard to believe that the good Captain had been a marine in his younger days.  Even harder to imagine him busting his hump through Paris Island, but I guess he got it done.  Back then he would have never guessed that he would be periodically dressed down by a small rodent wearing horn-rimmed glasses.

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I double-checked on a U.S. Navy website, and, by gosh, Keeshan WAS a marine, but never a captain.

The urban legend of him being on Iwo Jima with Lee Marvin was a lie.

And, here's a legend I had NEVER heard before:

=========================================

There is a long standing rumor that children's television host Fred Rogers of Mr. Rogers Neighborhood was a Marine sniper who racked up a record number of confirmed kills (and wore his famous sweater to hide "Born to Kill" tattoos).

This is simply not true. Fred Rogers never served in any of the armed forces.

==============================================================

https://www.usni.org/news-and-features/10-people-you-didnt-know-were-us-marines

quote:

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Originally posted by mike gregory
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Omeboy
 

Hard to believe that the good Captain had been a marine in his younger days.  Even harder to imagine him busting his hump through Paris Island, but I guess he got it done.  Back then he would have never guessed that he would be periodically dressed down by a small rodent wearing horn-rimmed glasses.

---

I double-checked on a U.S. Navy website, and, by gosh, Keeshan WAS a marine, but never a captain.

The urban legend of him being on Iwo Jima with Lee Marvin was a lie.

And, here's a legend I had NEVER heard before:

=========================================

There is a long standing rumor that children's television host Fred Rogers of Mr. Rogers Neighborhood was a Marine sniper who racked up a record number of confirmed kills (and wore his famous sweater to hide "Born to Kill" tattoos).

This is simply not true. Fred Rogers never served in any of the armed forces.

==============================================================

https://www.usni.org/news-and-features/10-people-you-didnt-know-were-us-marines

 

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Sez you and what army? 

She was only the mortician's daughter, but all the boys cadaver.

Continuing in that vein . . .

She was only a stable-boy's daughter, but all the horse manure.

She was only a moon-shiner's daughter, but I loved her still.

.............(((BTW, lovable old Art Buchwald was also a marine.)))

An Army Ranger was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana and he wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the Ranger shouted, "maybe I'll just go out and get my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes made at a reasonable price!" The vendor said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you will run into a couple of Marines who were in here earlier saying the same thing." 
So the Ranger headed into the bayou that same day and a few hours later came upon two men standing waist deep in the water. He thought, "those must be the two Marines the guy in town was talking about." 
Just then, the Ranger saw a tremendously long gator swimming rapidly underwater towards one of the Marines. Just as the gator was about to attack, the Marine grabbed its neck with both hands and strangled it to death with very little effort. Then both Marines dragged it on shore and flipped it on its back. Laying nearby were several more of the creatures. 
One of the Marines then exclaimed, "Damn, this one doesn't have any shoes either!" 

Before you go any further, please read our policy:

Justin Wilson told a story about a lady from New York City that was visiting Louisiana .

She wanted to buy a pair of alligator shoes & they sent her way back in the bayou to find some.

Her husband found her with a gator clamped onto her foot.

He said. In Justin Wilsons accent. I told you we couldn't afford no alligator shoes!

I love this guy! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2m22Svovbc 

This is just part one of four. I learned how to use that round antenna on the portable T.V. & found his cooking show on PBS.

A one=panel cartoon called "Old Man Boot Camp"

http://www.gocomics.com/the-wandering-melon?ct=v&cti=2090270

Let's see if it posts here as an image.

Nope!

I love that Mike! I'm saving that for sure.

Police officer:
"Didn't you see the STOP sign?"

Me: "Sorry, officer, but between 8 AM Thursday and 5 PM Sunday, if a sign doesn't say "RUMMAGE SALE", it's not worth seeing!"

she was only a real estate agents daughter but she sure new a lot

Don't cross the wheat field Molly cuz yur goin' against the grain.

Book Title:

"The Tragedy of Humpty Dumpty"

by

Eileen Dover & Phil Widdasplatt

One of my boys gave me this joke.....

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume?

Coz they're ugly and they smell

Had to quit my job at the fire hydrant factory, could park anywhere.

TRUE STORY:
Mom & Dad drove to Arlington W VA, to visit one of my many, many sisters.

Dad was WALKING the few blocks to the store, to pick up some groceries, and noticed a City crew digging near where he had parked overnight.
Offered to move, so as to give them more room.
They said they head plenty of room.
So he kept on walking, got the groceries, came back, and found the crew had finished.
They had been installing a hydrant, and he was ticketed for parking too close!

From the British improv show "MOCK the WEEK"

https://youtu.be/_L-zUhPIVLI

" Got into a fight with my  acupuncturist... stabbed him!

He said he'd never felt better!"

whats the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?...beer nuts are 3.99 a pound...deer nuts are under a buck

As I was preparing some laundry for pre-soak, I was reminded of a recent news report where some folks were  carrying torches while chanting
"BLOOD AND SOIL!".

I can understand about walking around carrying torches, when it's otherwise dark,  but I can't understand why all these people who I've never met, would be chanting about what's in my underwear.

They opened a new Elvis Presley themed steak house in town.

For people who love meat tender.

St Peter is checking ID's at the Pearly Gates, and first comes a Texan. "Tell me, what have you done in life?" says St. Peter. 

The Texan says, "Well, I struck oil, so I became rich, but I didn't sit on my laurels--I divided all my money among my entire family in my will, so our descendants are all set for about three generations."

 St. Peter says, "That's quite something. Come on in. Next!" 

The second guy in line has been listening, so he says, "I struck it big in the stock market, but I didn't selfishly just provide for my own like that Texan guy. I donated five million to Save the Children." 

"Wonderful!" says Saint Peter. "Come in. Who's next?" 

The third guy has been listening, and says timidly with a downcast look, "Well, I only made five thousand dollars in my entire lifetime." 

"Heavens!" says St. Peter. "What instrument did you play? 

 

Suddenly this guy came running into a fairly packed psychiatrists office screaming: "Help me!! Help me!! Please God, somebody, HELP!!! I'm shrinking!!!!!!" The receptionist looked up at him and said:  "Sir, as you can see, we're pretty full today, so you'll just have to be a little patient."   And if that wasn't bad enough, the doctor was very short with him.

Tommy Emmanuel tells a great one:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyaDqXrWhmQ