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A Rose by Any Other Name Would be a Skunk Cabbage

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

We were talking about unfortunate names on one of the forums.  My was not so unfortunate as it was suggestive.  My last name is King. When the teacher called roll, she'd say, "King Thomas."

Then at recess the bullies would line up to show me who was really the "King".

Power of suggestion

I had thick glasses and was awkward and made good grades. Mom couldn't buy me new glasses but about once every year or two so most of the time I ran around with tape on the bridge of my glasses from crashing face first into something. I was the prototypical nerd. In first grade there were two Tommy's in the class, so at registration my Mom volunteered to have me called Thomas - effectually signing me up as official class nerd!

I went to school with kids who were, as Bill Cosby once put it, "Killers or priests". About half the males in the class ahead of me (we had two classes to a room) did time in prison. Most of the rest were just never caught. One of my favorites went on to star in "A Ride on the Electric Chair" at Angola State Prison in Louisiana for a one man triple homicide.

I didn't have blue tattoos, I had decorative bruises. I developed an incredible threshhold for pain. Most of the time I came home from school looking like one of those guys at the end of Platoon walking out of the jungle dragging their dead.


My life was just a whole lot of fun after that. Those were the days when the teachers sent the kids out to the playground alone and put their heads down on their desks for a little restorative crying jag.

Our phys ed teacher sent us out alone for up to 45 minutes - all the boys in grades 7-10 for a game of flag football or as it was known in my school "Smack the Cop's Kid Around".

Oddly enough, I loved learning things so much that despite the thuggery, I actually wanted to go to school.

Go figure.

My Dad had one of the worst adapted middle names I've ever heard.  He got my grandpa's middle name for a first name - Adolph bless his heart.  My grandmother not to be left out gave him what she supposed was a femininized version of her middle name.  Wilmeth became Wilmot!

So Dad ran around school in the 30's and 40's with the unfortunate name of Adolph Wilmot King - or as he was known at roll call King Adolph.  How would you like to go through school during WWII with that for a first name?  Probably explains Dad's history of assault and battery - the whole boy named Sue thing.  A teacher once insulted his sister in front of the class.  Dad stood up and punched his lights out; sent all 350 pounds of the man to the floor in a heap!

That was the end of Dad's educational experience - 8th grade; who needs more?

He nicknamed himself "Sonny" and that's how he was known by everyone with any good sense right up till the day my step-mom shot him.  I don't think it had anything to do with his name, but rather that he finally had enough life insurance that she decided it was worth the risk to take a shot!

"Be careful what you name your kid" may be the moral to this story.

I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't have told that story.  My family history is so full of grim junk like that that it shocks people to hear us talk about it.  I'm doing geneology, researching my family tree, but I try not to shake the tree too hard.  Horse thieves and preachers keep falling out.

There's my cousin Alonso who once waited till my preacher great grandpa, Horatio French climbed up in the haypile and began to pray fervently.  When he got to the part about saving us all from hell fire, Alonso lit fire to the haypile.

What he didn't count on is that being named Horatio as a kid, Elder French had a hard right hand and with a razor strap for an extension, he taught Alonso a very valuable lesson about fire safety 'round behind the old woodshed.

Some time I'll tell you about the fishing with TNT episode and the hunting dog (a retriever) that made it a really interesting story. 5 comments

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Tuesday, July 15, 2008 5 comments

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Sunday, June 29, 2008 3 comments

Banjo Deprivation - Day 60

Tuesday, June 24, 2008 Add Comment

Old Dogs and Alpha Males

Monday, June 2, 2008 Add Comment

God Bless 'em All

Sunday, May 25, 2008 3 comments

Corn & Community

Tuesday, May 20, 2008 2 comments

Good Advice

Saturday, May 17, 2008 1 comment

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Rev. Doctor Tom Speaks Out!

Thursday, May 15, 2008 Add Comment

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Tuesday, May 13, 2008 3 comments

Operation Chaos - 1972

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Wool Hats and Wooly Heads

Friday, April 25, 2008 8 comments

Fun Diseases and Their Cure

Tuesday, March 25, 2008 3 comments

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Playing Since: 1973
Experience Level: Novice

twayneking has made 7 recent additions to Banjo Hangout 

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Occupation: Freelance Writer, nonprofit consultant & grant writer

Gender: Male
Age: 66

My Instruments:
Squared Eel custom banjo, Goya classical guitar

Favorite Bands/Musicians:
Clancy Brothers, Earl Scruggs, Steve Martin, Connie Dover, Emmy Lou and anyone, Willie Nelson and anyone, Pete Seeger, Arlo Guthrie, Gordon Lightfoot, Alison Kraus, Nickel Creek, Joe Bethancourt

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Created 6/26/2007
Last Visit 8/21/2020

I grew up in the small Seventh-day Adventist college town of Keene, Texas where I graduated in 1976 with a degree in English-Communications. I married a Scots-Irish-Indian woman from Monroe, Louisiana and raised three children and some cats and dogs, birds and fish. I’ve taught school, taught swimming, canoeing and sailing, knot tying, camping and astronomy for kids. I’ve water skied on canoe paddles, assorted bits of lumber and my elbows. I have a couple of canoes and a catamaran, 3 guitars, two banjos, a dulcimer, a mandolin, a fiddle, 2 recorders, a penny whistle, fife, a bag of harmonicas, a bodhrain, pair of bones and a jaw harp or two – all of which I play badly. I’ve helped start up 6 nonprofit organizations in 25 years and raised millions of dollars none of which ever managed to stick to my bank account. I’ve won awards for documentary screen-writing, published poetry and short stories and a book on how to organize a charity golf tournament. I was appointed to a two year term on the Public Transportation Advisory Committee for the Great State of Texas by the Governor and I work as an advocate for seniors, people with disabilities and low income families. I’m a Reagan conservative, which puzzles my fellow advocates, who think I should spontaneously combust from the sheer incongruity. On the other hand, I’ve taught them to speak Republican which has improved their rate of success with the state legislature. I am currently raising funds to expand Tiger Creek Wildlife Refuge here in East Texas. My advocacy work includes children’s issues, expanding public transportation, creating barrier free housing and promoting community wide accessibility standards that allow transportation challenged Texans to fully participate in their communities. I have three grandchildren, a son and daughter-in-law, my beautiful daughter and her new husband and we live on beautiful Lake Palestine near Tyler, Texas. My middle son, an amazing young man, passed away more than a year ago while finishing his senior year at UT Tyler. He was going to be a teacher. Since I wrote this, we moved away from the lake, lost almost everything and moved to Puyallup, Washington to live with my wife's sister and brother-in-law. In the midst of a recession and massive unemployment, it seemed to be the thing to do. We've cut our expenses drastically and I'm able to work on finishing up the books I have been working on.

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