You're on the right track – agreement and practice. banjered

in practice i always did the neck dip and foot stomp so all could see where the down beat was to come in..... kinda like leading sheep.

most banjo walk ins are a 3 count and the band comes in on 4 ,,, most of the time.

Is it possible that you're kicking songs before everyone else is ready? I've always thought it polite to check.

If they're just not quite getting it, practice is the answer. Practice with a band is like practice with an instrument - you work on developing the parts that are more difficult to play. Sounds like your band's kicks need practice.

There's nothing that says you couldn't just practice the starts of songs, repeatedly, and only go halfway through the first verse.

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Originally posted by 1935tb-11

in practice i always did the neck dip and foot stomp so all could see where the down beat was to come in..... kinda like leading sheep.

most banjo walk ins are a 3 count and the band comes in on 4 ,,, most of the time.

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I like this idea. Sometimes not everyone can hear a audable count in, so the idea of a visual que should work well along with the audible. All you ever need is a 'ready set go' which could be a '123' or even 'eat fried fish' it doesn't matter what you say but the visual will keep everyone starting together. 

I'm going to start by saying that I don't think this is the case here. Also I don't kick off songs, we have two guitar players, and they kick off their own songs. I'm just answering the question from my own perspective with my own band.

One of the guitar players starts into his intros and he is all over the place. I have no idea what he is doing. As soon as the singing starts, he settles in and everything goes well. Sometimes I can jump right in, sometimes it takes a measure, never more than two. The same with the breaks. When I get a break, I have to tune him out, play my break, and roll til he is ready to move on. I've asked the other guitar player if it is me, and he just laughs and tells me it isn't me, it is the same for everyone. We are a pretty laid-back band. We all get along pretty well, and if it isn't me, I'm just going to go with it. He thinks he is really good, I think he is oblivious. I've just learned how to adapt. I have no agenda other than to play backup banjo. If he's having a good time, so am I.

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Originally posted by eagleisland

...If they're just not quite getting it, practice is the answer. Practice with a band is like practice with an instrument - you work on developing the parts that are more difficult to play. Sounds like your band's kicks need practice.

There's nothing that says you couldn't just practice the starts of songs, repeatedly, and only go halfway through the first verse.

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This is us. Sometimes we practice the intro and ending to a song, more than the song itself. 

For starters, kudos to you for recognizing that this is an issue and wanting to do something about it. I hope your fellow band members feel the same way.
I believe that unless people are fiddling with capos or tuning , they should always be ready. It’s an attitude.
I saw Earl play once and the singer barely got the song title out of his mouth and bam! In comes Earl with the kick off and the whole band comes in on the down beat. It was impressive.

It sounds like the whole band needs to spend some time rehearsing kickoffs.

Another suggestion I would offer is to choose your banjo kickoffs so they are as simple as possible. I would avoid any banjo kickoffs that have syncopation in them.

In some of the groups I have played with, it was a job to get everybody to stop at the same time as well.

In my 50+ years playing banjo, I've learned that most banjo players have an almost obsessive attention to detail in their playing. They want everything to be right. The notes, tone, timing everything. I've found that few other (non-banjo playing) musicians share this attention to detail. A successful band needs to have an agreed set of objectives and standards to which every member commits. If one or more members won't (or can't) meet those standards, irritation and tension will result, ruining the experience for everyone. Choose your band members carefully and have a common understanding of the level of performance you aspire to.

starting and stopping together makes the stage show look professional.
as far as avoiding bluegrass songs without a banjo kick off is pretty hard since 70% of them have banjo kick offs.
it ain't hard 1-2-3- GO, like walking the wound D sting 0-2-4 GO

Practice, practice and practice. Spend enough time with bandmates, body language becomes the conductor and metronome.

Playing alone could solve this problem ;-)

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Originally posted by 1935tb-11

<snip>  it ain't hard 1-2-3- GO, like walking the wound D sting 0-2-4 GO

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Onto a tangent, but I think you just made my day Terry.    I've been known to comment how I'm pretty much unable to "figure things out" w.r.t. banjo/music.  BUT, but, but, apparently I "figured out" that ^^ 0-2-4 all on my lonesome..... (insert fist pump here). Mostly I play (?) by  myself  [note: that's by, not with], and have been using it for some years now without knowing it is a legitimate technique.

So if I knew the next song and the key, I'd be there, on downbeat one.
The fact that it's "one of those bands," makes it impossible unless I learnt telepathy.
I recon alot of bands would be flat-out dangerous with just a few hours of rehearsal each week. Heck, I read somewhere, in real bands, musicians get paid to rehearse! Wow!

A good crisp kickoff where the banjo plays the 3 beat and a half pickup notes and everybody chops on the first downbeat is a good way to get the adrenaline pumping.
It’s the difference between music and good music in my mind.

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Originally posted by randybartlett

Are there some methods to having the whole band getting going on a song? (assuming a banjo kickoff)

It seems like I start playing a well-known kickoff and the guitar player should start playing on the first downbeat of the first full measure. Often, he waits until the 2nd measure.

Same with the bass player. About 1/2 the time, we're into the 3rd measure before everyone is going and in sync.

I've been practicing doing my kickoffs with more authority and hope that will help.

I've thought about me doing something to establish the beat:
- maybe an obvious toe tap like (1---3---1-2-3-4)
- maybe pinch the banjo in the same pattern

Maybe having the guitar player count us in verbally (same pattern, head turned from the microphone).

I will talk to everyone in the band about this and they may have an answer, but I want to have some suggestions ready.

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In addition to what others have said, be a drill sergeant about it in rehearsal.

Did anybody miss the downbeat? Don't just think to yourself "dang, I wish we were better at that." Stop right away and do it over again. As many times as it takes. In fact, do it until NOBODY misses it like 5-6 times in a row. Do this every time it happens, with every song. Same thing with endings or other arrangement details that need to be precise.

In addition to what others have said, be a drill sergeant about it in rehearsal.

Did anybody miss the downbeat? Don't just think to yourself "dang, I wish we were better at that." Stop right away and do it over again. As many times as it takes. In fact, do it until NOBODY misses it like 5-6 times in a row. Do this every time it happens, with every song. Same thing with endings or other arrangement details that need to be precise.

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That approach seems like a pretty fine line to walk. 

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Originally posted by BG Banjo

In addition to what others have said, be a drill sergeant about it in rehearsal.

Did anybody miss the downbeat? Don't just think to yourself "dang, I wish we were better at that." Stop right away and do it over again. As many times as it takes. In fact, do it until NOBODY misses it like 5-6 times in a row. Do this every time it happens, with every song. Same thing with endings or other arrangement details that need to be precise.

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That approach seems like a pretty fine line to walk. 

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I probably shouldn't have made it sound like you are forcing your bandmates to do things against their will. I suppose I meant that everyone collectively adopts a drill sergeant approach for how the group rehearses. Ideally, the whole band buys into the idea that this is what it takes to get a professional sound, and is willing to put in the reps to get the results.