quote:

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Originally posted by mike gregory

Video would not play for me.
What's the joke?

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Sorry Mike, I tried to transfer it to a better link but didn't work.

The joke ??.... The little old lady asks, "what's the best thing about dating a homeless girl? ....... you can drop her off anywhere." 
 

(not very nice actually,, but the cop laughs and says," That's terribbllee !"

That's the strange thing about characters in jokes:
If you think of the as cartoons, or actors being paid well to pretend, it's funny.
But if you think of them as REAL PEOPLE, being stranded on a desert island, or homeless, or being run over by a steamroller, or being stuck somewhere with a banjo player, it's not funny at all.

It's funny, because it's TRUE:

Heard this one just the other day:
About campaign promises, made by politicians....

A PROMISE is a LIE that just hasn't HAPPENED yet!

According to a Study, 9 out of 10 Husbands agree that their Wives are Always Right!...The 10th Husband hasn't been seen since the Study!!

Someone just invented a mind-controlled, household air freshener. I know.... It sounds frivolous, but it makes perfect scents if you think about it!

..

^^
OLDER version:
"How can my account be overdrawn?? I still have DOZENS of checks left!"

..

Last week, my next-door-neighbor's wife issued him a ultimatum. She said: "If you don't stop impersonating a flamingo all the time, not only will I divorce you, but I'll have you declared a lunatic and locked up!!" And with that------he had to put his foot down.

fb.watch/GxqPHh6fcw/?fs=e

..

.

WHY did the new recruit put up a port-a-potty next to the barracks, move in there, and list it as his OFFICIAL RESIDENCE?

He thought the Sergeant couldn't order him around, if he was a LOO TENANT!

ONE of you might be able to write a song where the Guy is telling the Gal that he doubts what she's been telling him.
I did MY part by coming up with the TITLE:

"I Ain't a PAIR of Your Old Panties, So Don't Try Putting Me On!"

Instead of telling people "I don't give a sh*t", I tell them I suffer from ADD: Attention Defecate Disorder.

facebook.com/reel/797726096524...fs=e&fs=e

facebook.com/reel/908778865209...fs=e&fs=e

^^
No audio, and no piano music, so I'd know it was a silent movie!

Found MY error for ^^
It's funny enough.

....................................
I don't remember the joke, but the situation was funny enough:

Mom, dad, myself and my 10 brothers and sisters, plus at least 4 aunts and uncles were sitting around the big kitchen table, having dinner, and taking turns telling jokes.
When it was my youngest sister's turn, Katie, age 7, began with
"There was this traveling salesman..."
and all the forks stopped moving, since, to most of us, Traveling Salesman jokes were always pretty raunchy.

As I said, I don't remember the joke, but it wasn't raunchy at all, and everybody was quite relieved that it was so mild.
64 years ago, and I don't remember the joke AT ALL, but I remember the stunned silence.

I messaged my neighbors down the road.
Asked If they were having  a BBQ.
They said "No."
They lying to me.

You might be a redneck if you stole a portajohn from a construction site...

...

I don't remember if I posted this before, but it REALLY HAPPENED, so, here it is, maybe again!

Several years ago, my very talented Dad rigged up a couple of bed-sized shelves under the camper cap of a Chevy pickup, and he and Mom took off to visit friends & relatives across the US of A.

In Arlington, Virginia, visiting my sister, Dad decided to walk the three blocks to the little corner store.
As he left the apartment building, he noticed a city crew working near where he was parked.
Since there were spots available, he offered to move the Chevy, to give them more room to work.
They assured him he was fine where he was.
By the time he got back, they had finished.
Finished installing a fire hydrant, and he had a ticket for parking too close to a fire hydrant!

From a certain perspective, Hee hee, that's funny.
From another perspective: Double YOU, Tea, & F?

I'm teaching my dog to give me deep tissue massages. It's a shiah-tzu.