Not so much a "joke", as Just Another Weird Thinkle from the mind of Mike Gregory
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Thinking about time travel, and thunk of this:

SUPPOSE that somebody was SO AGHAST at what Hitler did, that he came up with a way to travel back in time, and KILL baby Hitler.
As a result, of course, GROWN Hitler would not have existed, and would not have done any of that.
Which would result in the person who, in the first sentence, NOT being aghast, and who then would have NO MOTIVATION to travel back in time and kill baby Hitler.
Which would then leave baby Hitler ALIVE, to grow up and DO the stuff that motivated the time traveler in the first place.

A never-ending loop of kill/no kill, with no end to it.
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A friend of mine said he saw 5 guys beating up a banjo player!
I asked him if he at least offered to help.
He said no,he thought 5 guys was enough! ??

QUESTION:

If we banned all shredded cheese in this country, wouldn't that make America grate again??

I accidentally superglued the tip of my thumb to the tip of my index finger this morning. I’m just back from the ER where the doctor said it will be OK for a while.

A friend of mine told me he saw five guys beaten up a Banjo Player the other day. I said, "Did you offer to lend a helping hand"? He said, "nah, I thought five was enough"!!

Dunno whether this one is better here or if I should start a thread for important (?) Public Service Announcements.

This popped up on my Facebook page, with the caption:  "How to prevent your bag from being stolen in _______________  ."

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A man going ice fishing cuts a hole in the ice and drops his line in. Suddenly a loud voice says “THERE ARE NO FISH THERE!”

So he brings in his line and moves down the ice a little way, cuts another hole and starts fishing again. The same voice says again “THERE ARE NO FISH THERE EITHER!”

So he moves again, cuts another hole and tries a third spot. The voice is really loud this time “THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!!”

Thinking it might be divine intervention, the fisherman asks “Are you God?”


NO! THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE RINK !!

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share.icloud.com/photos/00dOg7...CMoFo-xqA

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Stopped by the PICK'N'SAVE grocery
(Interrupting myself here to say
"Ain't that a GREAT name for a Bluegrass Gospel band??)
Anyway, saw a shiny Jaguar sedan with a HANDICAPPED PARKING card hanging from the mirror.
IF the driver had been within earshot, I would have told them
"Did you know that, as a WEALTHY CRIPPLE, you just got put on the TOP TEN list of suspects in over half the BRITBOX mysteries on cable TV?"

Oh boy!
Two jokes on the same day!
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Text from a friend of mine, asking me a question. Didn't know the answer.
The programmer who wrote the app MIGHT have been a Mark Twain fan, because
somehow, my Speech-To-Text app put out my answer as
"I have no Huck Finn idea!"
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quote:

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Originally posted by Owen

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? 

Groan….

I read that, by law, you're required to turn on your headlights when it's raining in Sweden.

How the hello am I to know if it's raining in Sweden?

quote:

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Originally posted by Owen

I read that, by law, you're required to turn on your headlights when it's raining in Sweden.

How the hello am I to know if it's raining in Sweden?

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Use the HangOut to message Janolov!

TWO jokes
1. They tell me carrots are good for the eyes, but, potatoes have MORE eyes, so why not THEM?

2. (From DEAN MARTIN)
"They told me carrots are good for the eyes, so I tried one last night. Hurt like hell!"

Couldn't "drag" the image, so this is what you get: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/644859240373675799/

Today I sold my homing pigeon

--- for the 19th time.....

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For you Nature Lovers!

... time to crack open another beer.