panthersquall - Posted - 01/09/2011:  18:57:55

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I met a guitar player a few months ago and we started getting together once a week to play some tunes and have fun, and now we are going to do an open mic together.

This coming Wednesday night. Yikes!

I'm both excited and a little nervous. Not really sure what to expect. Will I totally humiliate myself? Pee my pants? Faint on my way up to the stage?

Any advice from those who've dared to go before would be greatly appreciated.

And is there anyone interested in coming to offer emotional support, as I feel like a big scared baby right now!

RatLer - Posted - 01/09/2011:  19:04:10

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At least you're not going in front of the firing squad, I mean MIC by yourself... Buck up, you'll do fine...

FretlessinTexas - Posted - 01/09/2011:  20:14:08

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If you must throw up, do so before or afterwards.

chip arnold - Posted - 01/09/2011:  20:32:27

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Aw, i know you've played in front of people before! you'll be just fine. play a tune(s) that you can play in your sleep. you're going to love it and you'll go back, i promise.

oldwoodchuckb - Posted - 01/09/2011:  20:42:26

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Relax - most of the "audience" will be other people waiting to go on or who just got off. They know what you are going through. Remember this is an open mic night - not Carnegie Hall.

Milli2 - Posted - 01/09/2011:  22:39:32

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Dunedin, that's close by to where we are. Where exactly is it and what time?

M~.

whyteman - Posted - 01/10/2011:  06:57:45

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Go on the offensive from the git-go. Intimidate the audience. Give yourself the upper hand and do not feel self-conscious. You're a fine player; let that come through. If you need "help", belt down a couple "Red Eye" espressos and as the ghost of Uncle Dave should be whispering in your ear, "let 'er go perfessor!"

Don

majikgator - Posted - 01/10/2011:  07:28:23

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relax, just about everybody that performs (anywhere) at open mics make their share of mistakes, you will hear many more than the audience will. Audiences at open mics as OWC pointed out are often filled with people waiting their turn and their friends. i have done a fair amount of performing in my life and to tell you the truth when i know i suck i get more applause, when i actually do something right for a change i am largely ignored. The chances of your getting a negative audience reaction are almost nil. If for some reason you do get flack from the audience that would be a reflection on the establishment not you and i wouldn't GO there again let alone play there. You will be fine - dive in. Actually when you do eventually make a sizable blunder in front of an audience it's very liberating, hey if i walked away from that unscathed then... sort of thing.

maryzcox - Posted - 01/10/2011:  10:50:33

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Take lots of friends and family and have them sit up front. Tell them if you make a mistake to start clapping loudly. If anyone else is paying attention-they will think you just played a fabulous jazz riff.

If there is food or beer served at your open mike--bring a huge color sign with your name on it and set it right in front of the stage. Also--if you bring a big cowbell or triangle and ring it right before you begin--some of the folks may look up from their beers and burgers and notice you. If they serve really good home fries or onion rings with salt and ketchup--forget them looking up--they'll be licking their plates.

Try and get on as near to the beginning of the open mike as possible. That way the other performers will hear you play. If you wait till the end, most of them will be gone.

Relax and enjoy yourself--but do surround yourself with friends and family--especially if they serve food or drinks. Also, if it is usually a crowded venue--your pals can save you a place at a table up front so you won't have to stand in the back when you're done.

Best wishes,
Mary Z. Cox
maryzcox.com

panthersquall - Posted - 01/10/2011:  19:02:19

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Note to self: write a will and bring a barf bag...

Thanks for your responses, I appreciate it very much :-)

I mistakenly said Dunedin, but it's actually going to be in Safety Harbor.

Mary, they do serve some mighty good onion rings. I might have to have some myself when I'm done!

banjoghost - Posted - 01/10/2011:  21:13:35

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play through any mistakes, the important thing is to keep going and finish the song together, somebody above said you'll hear more glitches than anybody in the audience and he's right...and have an extra tune ready for the encore...

Deaf Lester Crawdad - Posted - 01/10/2011:  23:08:24

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quote:

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Originally posted by panthersquall
Any advice from those who've dared to go before would be greatly appreciated.

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(A) Play material that you really *know*; I.E. stuff you can play through three times in a row without making any serious mistakes.

(B) Write out a short set sheet to take on stage (even if it's only 3 tunes long) so that you can look down and easily be reminded of (1.) the name of the next tune, (2.) what key it's in, (3.) who kicks it off, and, (4.) anything else you might need to know; such as where you capo.

(Think that you can't possibly forget any of that stuff on stage? You're wrong.)

(C) Know where your picks, capo, and spare strings are. In your pockets is good -and know *which* pocket they're each in- but accidentally left backstage is bad.

(D) Decide in advance who's going to be the frontman. (The guy who tells the jokes and announces the next number while you tune.) And have said frontman actually practise doing his bit. Out loud. In front of a mirror.

(E) Be aware that going on stage with a partner is nowhere *near* as scary as doing it alone. If worst comes to worst, you can always hide behind him.

(F) Take this story to heart:

The first time I ever walked out on a stage I did so because I'd been asked to step in and play a short solo set to fill in for an act that hadn't shown up. This was good because I didn't have time to get scared in advance but it was bad because I honestly wasn't prepared to play for half an hour.

I was scared to death all the way through my first tune, thinking "What if I forget what I'm doing? What if I screw up? What if they hate me? What if they throw things?"; and after that first tune ended there came what seemed like a 2-minute gap before the applause finally started. (It really only took the usual couple of seconds: it's just that I was so pumped that it *seemed* like forever. Nerves.)

That first applause *really* felt good, though, and my confidence soared. ("They like me!" They really like me!")

When I finished my set and came down off stage, a girl I didn't know walked up and said "Wow, but you sing with the nicest vibrato I've ever heard!"

I didn't have the heart to tell her that I don't sing with a vibrato.

I'd just been so scared up there that my voice was shaking the whole time -along with the rest of me.

And here's the really good news: I never *ever* had stage fright like that again in the next 50 years.

~Pete

steverobal - Posted - 01/11/2011:  11:26:56

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I once saw an educational video about public-speaking. It was playing on a PBS station at 2 in the morning. I remember the host saying that a good public speaker is always a little nervous. On the other hand, she claimed that some of the worst public speakers are so completely comfortable on stage that they bore the heck out of their audience because they're overly casual about what they're doing. This has always struck me as a useful insight that can be applied to any kind of public performance. Yes, it's definitely important to relax and not be self-conscious, but a little burst of adrenaline can be used to your advantage. It's OK and perfectly normal to be a little nervous. Then take a deep breath and let loose. Knock 'em dead! You're going to do great!

rendesvous1840 - Posted - 01/11/2011:  13:16:27

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Relax, you'll do just fine. You need a little bit of nerves to get the thrill of live playing. Without it, you would eventually get bored. Enjoy the thrill, it gets to be an addiction you won't want to do without. Mistakes are just bumps in the road, not cliffs to fall off of.
Paul

panthersquall - Posted - 01/11/2011:  17:20:22

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Okay, well here it is, the night before we go do this thing. The guitar player was just here for a last minute practice session, and wow, I've never played so crappy! Clearly nerves have already kicked in... But we have spent a lot of time playing together; not just here in the living room, but outside on park benches and at patio bars, too, so there is a comfort level there, for sure. I have to say I feel a little split in two - part of me with the nerves going on, and the other part of me that is excited and really looking forward to this. So it ain't Carnegie Hall and I'll be surrounded by other musicians just as nervous waiting to take their turn. I guess I'll be joining a new club. Maybe I'll make a new friend or two. It's a great way to start my new year off right.

I just want to say all the responses from everybody REALLY help alot. Thank you so much. I keep coming back here and reading them over :-)

manmademusic - Posted - 01/11/2011:  17:22:24

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You play for fun and enjoyment right? Then just have fun and you'll do fine.

Last year before I went onstage at Clifftop for individual banjo competition I told my friends I was pretty nervous. One of them told me (after giving me a swig very potent clear liquid) the people in the audience are very appreciative of all the performers who buck up and take the stage. It doesn't matter if you come in first or last, all that matters is that you did it. Now I've done it and I will never have to look back and say I wish I had done that. The truth is that as soon as I stepped up on stage all the nerves disappeared and a big ear to ear grin came to my face. I played the best I could and felt really good about it.

panthersquall - Posted - 01/11/2011:  18:02:13

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Wow, you went onstage for the banjo competition at Clifftop! Yikes!!! This is small potatoes compared to that! Say, can I have a swig of that potent clear liquid?

Marc Nerenberg - Posted - 01/11/2011:  18:04:28

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quote:

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Originally posted by panthersquall

Wow, you went onstage for the banjo competition at Clifftop! Yikes!!! This is small potatoes compared to that! Say, can I have a swig of that potent clear liquid?

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It's called water...you can probably get it most places! Good luck and have fun!

Sultans of Claw - Posted - 01/11/2011:  19:28:27

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I've got a feeling you're going to do just fine. Don't forget to breathe!

blanham - Posted - 01/12/2011:  03:52:03

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Don't forget to take an MP3 recorder. You'll probably be surprised at how good you sounded when you play it back.

panthersquall - Posted - 01/12/2011:  19:31:14

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Yay! I did it! And it was good! Yay! :-D

Marc Nerenberg - Posted - 01/12/2011:  20:00:37

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Hey...we knew that you could...and that it would be good! So good for you!

panthersquall - Posted - 01/12/2011:  20:21:54

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Thanks, Marc!

And thanks, everyone. All the support and advice I've gotten on here has been great.

I'd best start packing my bags now, as I'm sure Nashville will be calling soon...

haha just kidding.

It was a really sweet and fun night.

RatLer - Posted - 01/13/2011:  15:59:29

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Like Marc said...we knew you could do it!!! Way to go


Now, do you mind if I borrow some this advice when
I get ready to do it...

Kitt - Posted - 01/13/2011:  17:02:50

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Congratulations, and I may that experience foretell shades of your new year.

What were some of the tunes that you played?

panthersquall - Posted - 01/13/2011:  17:42:26

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Greg, you'll have to let us know when you're going to give it a go so we can cheer you on!

Kitt, we did Boatman, June Apple and Cripple Creek.

I only messed up one teeny tiny little time in the middle of June Apple, but thankfully, was able to recover quickly.

When we were done and got up to walk off the stage, my legs were a little wobbly :-)

rendesvous1840 - Posted - 01/13/2011:  18:49:43

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Yee Haaa!! Are you going back next week?
Paul

panthersquall - Posted - 01/14/2011:  15:48:54

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I don't know. I'd like too! But my guitar player's band just booked a few gigs so I don't know if he'll have time. We're getting together tomorrow though, so we'll discuss!

ramjo - Posted - 01/14/2011:  15:55:52

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quote:

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Originally posted by panthersquall

I don't know. I'd like too! But my guitar player's band just booked a few gigs so I don't know if he'll have time. We're getting together tomorrow though, so we'll discuss!

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Solo?

panthersquall - Posted - 01/14/2011:  16:29:36

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No car and the bus stops running at 7. Not sure I'm ready to go solo yet anyway! Maybe next month!

ramjo - Posted - 01/14/2011:  17:00:21

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Next month for sure!

David M - Posted - 01/24/2011:  02:30:06

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Congratulations on your pluck and get up and go..!!.. I'm really pleased for you.

I attended a really friendly open mic old time music club every other Wednesday all last year where they encourage audience participation. Every fortnight I was asked if |I would go up and play for them this week..?...and I always made some excuse.

The desperate time came when the numbers were a little low and we sat in a circle taking turns to kick off another tune... I felt sick when it was getting closer to my turn, they'd all seen me playing along to them for months and they were finally going to hear me..! What do I play..!! That one should go well..??..!! But I usually struggle on that bit..!!!...HELP...!!! Wish I hadn't come this week..!!!

Then it came, my hands were sweaty and sticking to the neck, my picking hand felt like someone elses (sadly not Earls..!) and I just meekly asked what they'd like me to play..?...none of the hundreds I play came to mind..!!!

Bare in mind that I'd been a frontroom picker since the early 80's and it seemed like 30 years practice had been just for this moment, I started and rattled off a tune far too fast and mumbly with bare finger picking. The volume seemed fine indoors playing to Mollie the dog, but there I could hardly hear myself.

I got little reaction really, the next person's turn came and they just confidently got on with it. I learned a lot that night, don't play your favourite tune, play one that everyone else can play/sing along to (then it doesn't really matter what you sound like anyway), be prepared for more volume than is required when practicing, run through a few tunes just in case you're caught out again..

But most of all, I felt sick seeing my turn coming and realised performing wasn't for me, it took all the enjoyment out of going. I'm just too introvert for it so why force the issue..? I think I held my own with a few of the performers musically but they couldn't wait for their turn to show off a bit, good for them, I really wish I could be like that.

Sadly I haven't been back since and my playing took a bit of a 'what's the point..?' knock for a while, but I'm back to daily string stretching again and enjoying myself...

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Edited by - David M on 01/24/2011 02:48:35

panthersquall - Posted - 01/24/2011:  16:17:12

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Hey David,

Thanks for sharing your experience. Performing really is a whole different ballgame when it comes to playing an instrument, and it's most definitely not for everyone. You should be proud though, that you did actually give it a go! ~ applauding you ~ !

You mentioned Earl, so I'm assuming you pick a bluegrass banjer?

I think the environment I was playing at was much more relaxed than yours - it was a grille and bar, there weren't any other banjo players there, I play clawhammer banjo and nobody knew what "old time' music was, so even if/when I did mess up, who could tell? Plus, I was not alone - I had my trusty guitar playing friend up on stage with me, and that made a world of difference!

Now if you were to take away my guitar player and sit me in a roomful of banjer players and other people who knew exactly what the tunes are supposed to sound like, I bet I would've been even more nervous than I already was.

Oddly enough, I'm going back for more, tomorrow (Tuesday) night. This time at a different bar, but still in Safety Harbor. I'm not all keyed up like I was last time, but I do figure some nerves will kick in to some extent tomorrow and I'm okay with that.

I never really had any conscious desire to be a "performer", but I really do need a second income and would like to make some extra money doing something I love and enjoy, as opposed to just more of the same like my day job, so necessity is spurring me on in this direction. Plus, I would really love to have some more people to play some tunes with, so I'm also hoping this will be a good way to help me meet other musicians.

Paul Roberts - Posted - 01/24/2011:  18:01:41

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Just tuned into the thread. Congratulations for having the guts to follow your bliss, Laurie!

PauL banjocrazy.com/

panthersquall - Posted - 01/24/2011:  19:32:40

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Thanks, Paul.

In the words of John Prine: "I'm just tryin' to have me some fun."

David M - Posted - 01/25/2011:  00:30:28

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The odd thing is Laurie, I'd been used to playing individual sports finals in front of an audience for many years in my youth but this really is a whole new ballgame.

I was hoping to find a guitarist to spend enjoyable evenings with now and again and maybe they would have brought me out of my shell enough to have a bit more get up and go, but it didn't materialise sadly.

I play purely by ear and a style that has come about on my own, not bluegrass or clawhammer, a kind of 3 finger 2 finger picking style...!! A few basic finger twisting patterns usually gets me somewhere near the tune..

I just lack a bit of backbone to go through the nerves and let go as it were, like you showed on your first outing. I really hope tonight goes even better for you both and some bookings roll in..!!

Please let us know how it goes.

Best wishes.....

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Edited by - David M on 01/25/2011 00:37:44

pickinchik - Posted - 01/25/2011:  08:45:34

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Laurie,

WOW that is great!!! I love hearing that you had the guts to do that. It's going to be a long time before I could muster the courage to put myself out there like that in front of a live audience.

Hope you get back again soon.

Mandy

panthersquall - Posted - 01/25/2011:  15:58:34

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Oh, poo! Tonight was cancelled on account of severe weather :-(

I was all set for applause!!!

RatLer - Posted - 01/25/2011:  17:12:56

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Well don't that just knock yer hat in the creek....

Hope it wasn't snow...

David M - Posted - 01/26/2011:  00:23:26

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majikgator - Posted - 01/26/2011:  14:29:54

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There will be a next time, music is meant to be shared with people. i am very happy you got off to a good start.

panthersquall - Posted - 01/26/2011:  20:31:42

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Trusty guitar player sent me a text msg about 5:00 this afternoon asking me did I want to go do one tonight and I said ok. Weather's all clear now... So we went back to the same place we did the first one. This time we played our "D" tunes; Old Molly Hare, Arkansas Traveler, and an original called "Vinnie's Tune." And Boatman, 'cause there was time for one more.

I messed up REAL bad on Arkansas! It really took me almost the whole b part to recover, but I finally pulled myself out of it. I just kept those fingers moving :-) Think I might have made up my own little tune for a moment there...

But wow, I had such a blast! I don't know how I'll ever get to sleep tonight. Whoever said this was addicting was 100% right!

Plus, it's such a good motivator; I really want to start increasing my practice time and taking my playing up a notch.

Alot of the fun of the open mic has been watching everybody else get up there and play. You see all kinds of people, from teenage solo guitar-playing singer-songwriters to senior couples who've probably made the karaoke rounds for years, to middle-age men acting like teenagers with a guitar, to some really really talented people. And everybody is so supportive it is fantastic.

Open mics are fun. I highly recommend them!

David M - Posted - 01/27/2011:  01:16:41

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Well done again Laurie..!!

Maybe the mistake made you realise it's not the end of the world and to just keep going is the best thing to do.

Your club sounds very similar to the one I went to, a big variation in standard. The good thing was, I never knew, apart from the regulars, who would turn up. Sometimes local groups would go to advertise themselves or pro guests. You're well n truely hooked now, be no stopping you I reckon..!!

Onwards and upwards...

Bob Cox - Posted - 02/02/2011:  18:21:16

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quote:

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Originally posted by panthersquall



Any advice from those who've dared to go before would be greatly appreciated.

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I have to say that the feedback I have gotten from performances generally is totally unrelated to how I feel about how I did. Other than that, telling myself that I am trying to be myself rather than to appear to be something I am not seems to relax me for some reason!










i

panthersquall - Posted - 02/03/2011:  17:53:32

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That is exactly what happened to me 2 nights ago, Bob. It was our 3rd open mic and the nerves really got to me, and I messed up during the 1st two songs something awful. I don't know how I managed to keep going, I really don't. I made up for it by playing the last 2 songs really really fast. I think I might've set some sort of clawhammer pickin'-speed record, it was that fast. I got off stage feeling like the world's biggest failure. And everybody said I was great. But it wasn't great. It was a train wreck. So you are absolutely right about feedback vs. actual playing...

The first two times I went and did this were kind of a lark, but this time it felt 'real' and I think that made me a little more nervous than I already was.

I would really like it if me and my guitar player could just get up there and play like we were sitting in my living room, jamming. That is the most fun, ever.

I am hopeful it will get easier the more we do it?

minstrelmike - Posted - 02/03/2011:  19:09:24

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Read the Too nervous to play topic, banjohangout.org/topic/198565

especially read the article linked to it and all the comments on it.

David M - Posted - 02/04/2011:  02:51:51

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Sorry to hear of your latest experience Laurie, you're not going to let it put you off though are you..?

After reading your bold get up and go, it's made me shake myself down and think of giving it another go....I've had the worst it can throw at me already, so it can only get better...right..?....

As a matter of interest, what do you look at during a performance..?...Your left hand, the audience, beyond the audience, close your eyes, flit your gaze around them all, your guitar buddy for inspiration..?

Paul R - Posted - 02/04/2011:  07:35:35

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This thread is getting better with age!

Making - and coping with - mistakes is a huge part of the game. Fortunately, everyone does it, so the environment is usually supportive. At least it is at the jam I attend. We have the full talent range from pro level to out of tune and out of time.

Larry and Diane are a widower and a widow who come and sit in the first row. They come early and help set up, and stay late to help take down. Diane helps get the snacks ready and sometimes helps with the m.c. chores. If someone performs a song like "Waltz Across Texas", they'll get up and dance.

Larry got it into his head that he'd like to sing a few sings. Now, Larry ain't no Pavarotti, if you catch my drift. So we make sure to give him the key/chord, and a couple of the women crowd around and sing along. I look over at Diane and she's looking at me and shaking her head, like, "What was he thinking?" One time, Larry finished and said to the audience, "Thanks for not walking out on me." I said, "It's cold out!" Just kidding. He replied, "I'll get you for that!" All in fun, but I did get a gentle rap on the shoulder at the end of the evening.

He keeps coming back and we keep backing him up. He starts out shaky and picks up steam as we go along. He gets a kick out of it and we get to really concentrate on being a tight backing band for him. In so many ways that's much more important than my solo "performance".

panthersquall - Posted - 02/04/2011:  16:08:53

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quote:

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Originally posted by David M

Sorry to hear of your latest experience Laurie, you're not going to let it put you off though are you..?

After reading your bold get up and go, it's made me shake myself down and think of giving it another go....I've had the worst it can throw at me already, so it can only get better...right..?....

As a matter of interest, what do you look at during a performance..?...Your left hand, the audience, beyond the audience, close your eyes, flit your gaze around them all, your guitar buddy for inspiration..?

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Hey David! No, I'll not let it put me off. It's just part of the learning experience. And dude! If I can do it, YOU can do it! I think you should give it another go. You've already tried it once. A second time isn't going to kill you! Plus, we can have the fun of comparing notes on surviving public humiliation :-)

What do I look at? I never really thought about it. I look at my left hand alot, to make sure it's going where it needs to go, but I also look out at the people to see if anyone is smiling, and alot of times I'll look over at my trusty guitar player and we'll just grin at each other during certain parts of tunes. (Or I'll grimace at him if I'm screwing up. Or give him that deer-in-the-headlights look of sheer panic, if I'm really really screwing up!)

When do you think you might try it again?