You might consider ditching the picks.

Not that it applies to most players, but I periodically ask musicians close to me whether or not my "playing" (?) is screwing up their efforts.  

At its heart it’s social music, so the people whose opinion matter are the musicians you’re actually playing with. If they’re happy it’s all good.

We don’t know the setting, your dynamics or the acoustics of the space (Low ceiling room? Outdoors on a deck?) . The fact that you have group awareness and sensitivity is (to me) a big clue that you're probably fine :-)

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Originally posted by Bill Rogers

You might consider ditching the picks.

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Just what I was about to suggest, mostly to keep the volume from overwhelming other banjo players. But I enjoy playing clawhammer with good 2- and 3-finger players in an appropriate session when our styles complement each other. It takes good listening skills to not "step on each other" too much, but then, good listening skills are always the key to good sessions and good music! I also find that it can often help to place the banjo players across the session from each other rather than right next to each other. Not to say that fingerpicks are always a no-no; a sensitive picker with good dynamic control  can often make it work, though it doesn't hurt to ask for feedback to be sure it's working for others.

I think what you all have mentioned has been considered or taken into account:

1) The room is large and open, and there are a lot of people drinking since it's in a brewery, further exacerbating the dilemma, so we have to huddle close to each other to be heard by each other.
2) The clawhammer players are usually across from me. This isn't intentional necessarily but probably works in our favor. I usually sit next to the lead guitarist and bass player just so that I can hear them, and to be sure what tune is being called, and likely they sit across from them for the billboard aspect. I'm usually playing off a chord chart on my phone which is on my knee or just playing by ear in its absence.
3) One of my chief gripes with the clawhammer style is not using the up the neck frets, which is what I often go to when rolling through chords, so that likely helps differentiate the harmonic qualities. We each have different rhythms as well. I'm rolling and they're doing their clawhammer thing - hitting single melody notes and doing fills with strums + drone notes?
4) I'd rather play softly than ditch my picks. I'm so used to playing with picks and I would effectively kill my playing if I tried using finger tips only.

I play 3 finger at an old time jam every month. I actually enjoy old time jams more than bluegrass, probably because I really like old fiddle tunes. The folks at the jam have been wonderful about accepting a 3 finger player and have been very complimentary. I have been invited to smaller jams and events with some of the players. I'm new to this area so it has been really great getting involved with the community.

I use my finger picks. It was a consideration when I first started but it hasn't been a problem in the least. Volume has not been an issue at all, I could probably be louder if anything. The only time I think it gets messy is when other 3 finger players show up (happens periodically), in that case I have to really dial back what I am playing and it can be distracting. Stylistically if you are just crushing loud bluegrass licks over everything, I could see it getting overwhelming for others.

Just use your head and be considerate and you will be fine. You could always pick more sparsely and leave lots of space until you find where you fit in and then build your playing from there.

If you haven't already, check out Nick Hornbuckle. He is two finger old time player who plays with picks in an almost three finger style. His album 12x2(+/-1) is probably one of my favorite banjo albums. I try and play more like the banjo back up on Joe Greene's Fiddle Album. Feel free to hit me up if you have any questions.

The jam I regularly attend, the line between the old time music and the not so old time music is pretty blurred. I have been a three finger picker and have played some old time music in that style without complaint, however this summer I have used it as an opportunity to learn clawhammer and drop thumb. I mean, might as well take advantage of it, expand my horizons.

I would like to attend a jam that is just old time music. I haven't found one locally though.

I'm learning to love the continuous loop in old time jams. It's great ear training, allows me to work on my various ways to color chords, able to practice at speed, I can actually play the melody for songs I know with everyone else, and it provides excellent training for the crossover old time tunes that you might find at a bluegrass jam like Red Wing, Old Joe Clark, and Down Yonder.

I'm a 5 string player and have been to plenty of Old Time Jams here, in Tennessee, Virginia and North Carolina over the last 30-40 years ish. I think the most fun one I've been to was up in Boone, NC. Locally here they seem to be more cliquish than up in NC. Anyway, whenever I've shown up to an OT jam the first time I get the expected dirty looks. But I play with picks and a very light touch. Stay away from signature bluegrass fill-in licks they really aren't necessary unless they support the melody line. Also, as you know I'm sure, everyone plays the melody all at once. Over and over. No lead breaks. So it's an excellent way to learn unfamiliar tunes. Also, it seems to break OT etiquette and maybe even ruffle feathers if it's your turn and you suggest a tune not already in the key they're in (you know, fiddles and mandolins). Just pick a tune in the same key as the last and you'll fit in. And it's fine for you to play up the neck if no one else does. The main consideration is to stay out of the way musically, use chord shapes that don't interfere with the melody or are the melody.

OT jams can be tons of fun and very rewarding, it's just a very different mindset that needs to be respected.