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I like being home

Posted by PaulKirby on Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Doing some playing today. This is my week off from work. We didn't have enough notice to plan a trip away, and honestly, I like being home.

Yesterday was the funeral and it was both hard and inspirational. I think there are things we see that get burned on our consciousness and stay for a long time. I remember some like seeing my beautiful children being born, being with my dad when he passed on, the girl with brown wavy hair that I saw at a chorus concert in Germany in about 1985. Some from yesterday: stuffed animals perched atop a little white coffin, seeing a grown man sob as he and his brother lower the little white coffin into the frozen ground. The low winter sun shining bright and lighting up the beautiful rolling valley below. A husband and wife holding each other as they scooped a small handful of dirt onto the coffin, laying their little girl down for safe keeping on that beautiful hillside. Seeing two families reconciled to each other as the only means possible of managing in an impossibly difficult situation. A priest generously showing us his own struggle with grief. Watching a father and mother, sick with grief, say 'I love you' to each other from across a tiny country church. Seeing a funeral director betrayed by his personal feelings and hang around listening to us rehearse. Holding the father in my arms as we both sob, and it being okay. A beautiful lunch with a table full of homemade cakes and gallons of strong black coffee. Witnessing sound coming through my body and touching the hearts of a church full of broken people, knowing that today was some of the most important singing I'll ever do. Watching one of Norway's best harpsichordists playing a tiny Hammond organ with the love and care that he would play a world-famous instrument. Wondering what a queer sight we must all make to a little angel making her way towards her creator.

reprinted from

2 comments on “I like being home”

Kester Says:
Tuesday, November 4, 2008 @12:59:29 PM

That was heartbreaking and beautiful, Paul.

robin jones Says:
Tuesday, November 4, 2008 @8:02:31 PM

Kind of puts things in perspective. You're a sensitive soul. I'm sure it's hard. I'm also sure it serves you well artistically, and touches the lives of your friends and family in wonderful ways. Take care Paul.

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