Banjo Police are coming to get me!

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Posted by BadMojo on Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Chords for the love of god, chords! They are evil oh so evil. Twisting your fingers into knots barely recognizable as human appendages. Oh did I mention they make no sense at all. Position 1, 2, root, no order, ordered, what was that guy smoking when he arranged these things. I used to think I was a reasonably intelligent person but I have come to realize I'm a musical idiot. My playing is about as recognizable as one throwing guinea pigs at a banjo from 10 yards. Even with all of this inane silliness I love it. It is a sickness and not an easy one to have. I could have just started a crack smoking habit, think of the potential weight loss, but no I had to take up banjo. I remember as a child how my grandfather's fingers flowed effortlessly across the fretboard. Moving with great speed and precision, like a honey bee from flower to flower. It is those same memories that make me realize my mother had an affair. There is no way I have any of those genes in my person. I'm pretty good at handling the mail or milk so the potential to determine my true father is vast. Every evening as I practice I envision the Banjo Police arriving at my door to stop such carnage upon a beloved american instrument. "SIR! PUT YOUR HANDS UP AND STEP SLOWLY AWAY FROM THE BANJO!" How much do you think the fine might be for slaughtering one of Americas most loved forms of music? Bluegrass - well if you heard me playing it would make you blue and possibly you would have wished you smoked some grass, but even that may not dull the pain to your auditory canals. To add insult to injury the cuticle on my middle finger split; hurts like hell and started to bleed. Could have the Banjos God's started to their vengeful wrath on such a small scale?

5 comments on “Banjo Police are coming to get me!”

Hopalong Says:
Thursday, October 25, 2007 @12:02:13 AM

I understand what you are saying. That's why I play only in open G tuning. Like a good sale the first chord is free........G chord uses no fingers. A chord, B chord and C chord are all barre chords, with one finger accross the neck fret. Only the nasty F chord requires 4 fingers. And for those individuals who insist that I constantly re-tune my banjo to other tunings, my answer is , why should I learn More sets of chords when 1 is more than fine and dandy for me. Hang in there Mike............ hopalong peter

banjotef Says:
Thursday, October 25, 2007 @12:05:15 AM

It IS a disease, that finds its own cure within itself!

markdechef Says:
Thursday, October 25, 2007 @12:37:33 AM

You took the words right outta my mouth! er, keyboard.

wannabepicker Says:
Friday, October 26, 2007 @8:43:02 AM

chords are much easier on a Gibson! Ha! Or any very expensive banjo! Ha, again, I say Ha!

BanjoDiva Says:
Thursday, November 1, 2007 @5:19:52 PM

Hey Mike, just wait until you get to "inversions"! :-) My husband started taking guitar at the same time that I started on banjo. Since he had no prior musical experience I bought him one of the Dummies books on music theory. I also read it myself as a review and reminder because it had been nearly 20 years since I had played an instrument. It was very helpful to both of us. I believe there is one in the Dummies series and the Idiots series and I'm sure either would be a benefit.

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