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Splitting up

Posted by Banjophobic on Thursday, August 1, 2013

Well, maybe I shouldn't be blogging about this, but I feeling like many of you folks are my friends and I dont have that many friends locally that I can talk to about such things. This blog has become a little place where I can talk freely about anything banjo. Now  it's definitely personal I nature and I apologize for it, but writing about things helps me to cope.

My wife and I have havent had the close relationship over the past year that we would like. She spent more and more time away from home with various things, events, hanging with friends,etc and I got some really strong vibes that something was up. I've been praying about it but I knew what was in the air. She told me today she wants a divorce and thats there's nothing to talk about or to try and work out.  Even though I had a feeling about it, still, to hear it was like having someone drop a lead anchor on your guts.

I wont go into any details here but this will be about the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with besides my dad's suicide years ago. She's jsut not happy being married to me and all I want is for her to be happy-no matter what that means. The reason for the blog is that in the coming days and weeks/months things will be very crazy with me figuring out where I'm going to go, how to keep the shop running, keep lessons going and play gigs while looking for a place to live that I can also run my shop out of.

This will mean I may disappear off the BHO for different reasons related to that but i hopefully wont be off here for a long time. Any repairs I have going I will try my best to get done asap before I have to move out, so anyone reading this blog who has work being done, I promise I'll do my best under the circumstances. 

Robin is a wonderful woman and I still love her with all my heart and its cracking wide open. Praying about it and asking for your prayers is about all I can do. Please keep me and her both in your prayers that it will all work out for the best. Change is hard sometimes, especially when it involves a spouse. I'm sitting here in a daze, with my guts churning and no clue what to do other than type this. The BHO is a great place and I'm sorry to 'dump' this on my blog. Thanks to everyone who has stood up for me various times and supported my little LOTW vids over the past 5 years. This site is more than just a bunch of banjo players hanging out to me. Its really a virtual 'family' and it means a lot to me..really. 

Thats all I can stand to write now-thanks for listening. Your friend Banjophobic

39 comments on “Splitting up”

MBCrawford Says:
Thursday, August 1, 2013 @11:28:35 AM

I'm very sorry to hear about this, I know that at times like this it's very hard to understand why it's happening and what your next steps will be. I hope that, with God's help you can get through this time with the least heart break as possible. if there is anything that we can do for you just let us know.

BanjoFlyboy Says:
Thursday, August 1, 2013 @11:49:49 AM

Shocking news John! Words escape me, but keep your chin up and we're here for you. Lean on us as hard as needed for support!

gospelman97 Says:
Thursday, August 1, 2013 @11:51:58 AM

I'm truly sorry to hear the news John. I will be praying for you both.

banjodawg Says:
Thursday, August 1, 2013 @12:47:42 PM

I hope you find peace and comfort. I'll keep both of you in my prayers.

awol13 Says:
Thursday, August 1, 2013 @1:06:59 PM

John you and Robin are certainly in my prayers take it one day at a time my friend.

zai Says:
Thursday, August 1, 2013 @1:25:50 PM

Darn, John, that's rough stuff. Sorry to hear. Like Danny says, at a loss for words. Well wishes to the both of you!

Hankon5 Says:
Thursday, August 1, 2013 @2:14:11 PM

John -may the Lord give you wisdom and comfort on sorting things out....We all care for you here on the BHO......You WILL make it thru this.....God bless you. Prayers will be going to the throne of grace.

bob gregory Says:
Thursday, August 1, 2013 @2:39:50 PM

Sad News John , will be thinking of you and things do get better in time , you take care Mate !

Jane C Says:
Thursday, August 1, 2013 @3:41:27 PM

So sorry to hear Tough times ahead for you both it seems. Though sometimes change can be good, you never know which door will open once this one closes, in the meantime good luck to you John and take care.

Yard Onion Says:
Thursday, August 1, 2013 @4:32:14 PM

Im sorry to hear this John. I'll be praying for you both. Please take care of yourself. You have the strength to get through this!

Wills Creek Says:
Thursday, August 1, 2013 @4:33:38 PM

Wow! is about all I can say John ! Wish you the best .

banjoy Says:
Thursday, August 1, 2013 @6:09:06 PM

John my intuition gave me a deep sense something was going on but sometimes it's ahead of the curve. I was unable to even open the last two emails you and I exchanged and had to delete them unread but that's another story.

I divorced my wife in 2001. It was very difficult and I loved her but there was no way to continue our marriage. I gave her everything she wanted to make a new start. I gave her our truck, $10,000 cash (mortgaged the house to do it) and let her take anything she wanted from the household. In other words, I gave her the fresh start she wanted. She was my first and only wife. She's currently on husband number 7.

These are times of change and everyone in this life is experiencing some form of upheaval. Just this week I have been facing down past trauma of an extremely personal nature, the person who did this to me died years ago but his name is on buildings all over town and I can't take this constant reminder anymore. So time for that to cease and I am taking steps to have that name removed from these buildings in Spartanburg.

What you have shared is deeply personal and I feel your hurt and it cuts like a knife. Know that many folks love you John, including me, love knows no bounds and you have only my best wishes and positive energy in your direction. I understand your need to take some personal time and all of us who love you will be here for you, always, forever and a day.


wuzapicker Says:
Thursday, August 1, 2013 @6:36:29 PM


As you two have been in my prayers you shall be. I can't tell you I know what you are going through, because I don't know and won't pretend to know. However, I shall continue to pray. These are hard time, most hard.

Michael <><

jonah4832 Says:
Thursday, August 1, 2013 @6:41:06 PM

John, so sorry to hear of your relationship or any relationship for that matter to end, and my prayers are truly with you, may you have the strength to accept the things you cannot change. If ya need someone to hang with and chat let me know, and I will lend an open ear. And I sincerely say this from my heart I hope you are not away from this site too long if you have to be because there is a lot ppl here who need you. God has blessed you in order to bless all of us.

jimh269b Says:
Thursday, August 1, 2013 @7:27:25 PM

hate to hear that john,some times things like that happens,and there is a reason for it,i don't have the answer for it but you will find out in time just hang in there john

Big I Says:
Thursday, August 1, 2013 @8:14:38 PM

I'm really sorry to hear this John. I will be praying for you.

lbartosh Says:
Friday, August 2, 2013 @5:45:18 AM

Very sad news John, I'll be keeping you in my prayers

banjerman Says:
Friday, August 2, 2013 @6:08:58 AM

Thats a tough one John. Know that you are in my prayers.

Oalbrets Says:
Friday, August 2, 2013 @6:17:26 AM

Sorry to hear this John, keep your chin up and I will pray for you.

rickshunter1 Says:
Friday, August 2, 2013 @6:21:14 AM

So sorry to hear this John they say things happen for a reason which you may never know just hope and pray things go well for the both of you.

thombanjo Says:
Friday, August 2, 2013 @7:15:14 AM

sorry to hear of your and friends will get you through and on into a new life that will be even better than you can now imagine

frailin Says:
Friday, August 2, 2013 @7:26:10 AM

Been there. Done that. As my dad used to say, "this too shall pass." And it will. Be strong and know that this is just a part of your life's journey. It all belongs. It makes you what you are.

pickn5 Says:
Friday, August 2, 2013 @9:27:57 AM

Your in my prayers. Your faith and BHO family will help keep you strong. Best wishes as your future unfolds.

Denton Says:
Friday, August 2, 2013 @9:37:45 AM

I can understand what you'r going through. A friend told me once that nothing a woman does surprises him. My current wife and I had both had one previous marriage to our first spouses. 35 years for her and 21 for me. We met after each other after being divorced for 5 years. We hit it off and 3 years later she wanted divorce. She didn't trust me and she had no reason not to. 6 months later we were back together and got marrued again a year later. Although marriage wasn't really necessary. We love each other. She needed to have some time for herself to work things out. That little green eyed monster, (not Roz, she's blue eyed), jealousy slowly melted away. Just my story and I know you are in a state of shock but hang in there keep what is yours, find a comfortable space and don't worry about this. She'll see what she lost in a while.

Dan Mountjoy Says:
Friday, August 2, 2013 @9:51:54 AM

Very sorry about this, John -- praying for you!

Luvmoochine Says:
Friday, August 2, 2013 @10:18:09 AM

Sorry to hear the news bud. Don't sweat my project one bit. You can put it on the shelf for however long to need to sort your business out. Best wishes in tough times....

rferg Says:
Friday, August 2, 2013 @12:06:32 PM

John, so sorry to hear of your breakup and how heavy it is on your heart. You are in my prayers.

sunday Says:
Friday, August 2, 2013 @12:25:14 PM

John, so sorry to here what's happening. As several have said, these situations often turn out for the best. I have found for a long time that there is a Higher Power who is in control, and things will work out for the best. It often hurts to get there. All the best, if I can help in any way- holler.

Don Lewers Says:
Friday, August 2, 2013 @4:38:34 PM

Nobody knows the trouble you've seen ''John.'' ''One day at a time,'' that old saying has helped me in the past, to recover from what's dealt to us, from the pack of cards of life - - of which we have little say in. Hope to catch you in the chatroom mate, Don.

banjogal12 Says:
Friday, August 2, 2013 @9:08:25 PM

John, sorry this is happening. God has been my partner all the way. He has given me the strength to face anything life threw my way. Trust your faith and God will show you the path and give you the strength. Will keep you in my prayers.

jwoods Says:
Friday, August 2, 2013 @11:00:30 PM

Very sorry to hear that, John.

It's rough thing to have to go through...I've been there.

Wishing you the best.

Hang in there, man.

jim gibson Says:
Sunday, August 4, 2013 @4:41:59 PM

keep your focus on god he can help you in many ways

quikcarl Says:
Sunday, August 4, 2013 @6:14:05 PM

Going thru it myself right now JB so I know the feeling of shock, helplessness and despair that this is causing you, if you need someone to talk to, who himself is facing the very same thing at the very same time don't hesitate to shoot me an email and I'll call you. Keep your eyes upon heaven because God is in control and this will all make sense somewhere down the line. Take care my friend and I am here when and if you need me. quikcarl

ladyfyre Says:
Monday, August 5, 2013 @3:06:54 PM

Sorry to hear about your troubles. I will be keeping you in my prayers and hope that the months to come will not be overly difficult for you. Wishing you the best.

jswkingsfield Says:
Monday, August 5, 2013 @8:29:23 PM

Very sorry to hear this news. Take good care of yourself. We'll be here for you when you have time.

banjoman56 Says:
Tuesday, August 6, 2013 @11:14:21 AM

John I'm truly sorry to hear this. I can only imagine what a shock this was to you. I will remember both of you in prayer.

Ks_5-picker Says:
Wednesday, August 7, 2013 @3:16:55 AM

So sorry to hear about it John. Will keep you in prayers for sure.

Wes Lassiter Says:
Thursday, August 8, 2013 @4:35:56 PM

Hey John, I just have no words for you and I can't imagine how you must feel. My prayers are with you and I hope you will be able to find peace. I love you brother.

Sartana Says:
Wednesday, August 14, 2013 @12:27:37 AM

Just getting caught up on this John. Nothing I can say to soften your pain, that is for sure....but know that you are in my thoughts as well.

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