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Not at all banjo related.

Posted by kathy315 on Saturday, July 10, 2010

Dear friends,

One week ago today,my long time partner,Paul,committed suicide.He had demons that he couldn't seem to shake and he took his own life in a very violent way.I was out jamming with friends and came home to find him.It was the worst thing ever.Yes we were having significant problem,both in our relationship,financially,he had terrible depression and terrible Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from Viet Nam.

Why am writing this,is to beg and plead with you..if you are even contemplating suicide,PLEASE ask for help.It's there.So many of us are left wondering what the heck happened.What signs did we miss...we will never know.All I do know is he left 3 very young grandsons who worshipped the ground he walked on.

If  you or someone you know is depressed,there is help.There is no stigma attached in asking for help.We all need help now and then.Please just do it.Your loved ones will be happy you did.

Bless you all for your continued support.This banjo community is one of the tightest group I've ever known.


25 comments on “Not at all banjo related.”

BanjoDiva Says:
Saturday, July 10, 2010 @9:15:37 AM

OMG Kathy, I am so sorry for what you're going through! I hope in time that you will find some peace and understand that this was all out of your hands. ((Hugs))

Banjov1 Says:
Saturday, July 10, 2010 @10:24:22 AM

So sorry to hear this Kathy. Depression can have some terrible consequences. You have my deepest sympathies.

ronhan Says:
Saturday, July 10, 2010 @10:46:28 AM

Reaching out to help others at this time is a sign of your strength. You and Paul will both be included in our prayers. God bless you. Ron

TMarshall1 Says:
Saturday, July 10, 2010 @11:22:31 AM

Kathy, My most heart-felt condolences. Please know that your "banjo family" is here for you. Bless your heart...

FisherPicker Says:
Saturday, July 10, 2010 @11:38:00 AM

I had recently lost my very good friend through such an act. You have my deepest condolences. Be strong and God Bless. There are so many things to say to someone in such a position that was so close to it, but nothing helps the pain or loss other than those still left in our lives.

djingodjango Says:
Saturday, July 10, 2010 @12:42:42 PM

There is nothing I can say that will make it better. I hope you have folks around to help you. Please, please reach out to others yourself. I know this is a rotten time in your life. Don't be alone now.

May God truly grant you peace, Kathy. May His angles surround you and minister to your needs at this time.


rickshunter1 Says:
Saturday, July 10, 2010 @1:42:41 PM

You are right but when someone gets to that point they aren't thinking rationally and you cannot blame yourself for any of this, its a terrible thing to have to go through let alone come home to find we are all here if you need to vent and get things off your mind god bless you and your family and be with you through this difficult time.

beeliner Says:
Saturday, July 10, 2010 @3:46:39 PM

Kathy, I'm very sorry to hear about this tragedy. I hope you will let the Lord carry your burden. He is the only one that can give strength and courage at a time like this. I hope you know Jesus Christ as your personal Saviour. If you don't He is waiting for you.

fisher Says:
Saturday, July 10, 2010 @9:47:09 PM

At a loss for words
sending you Aloha...

thecowpokepicker Says:
Sunday, July 11, 2010 @4:39:13 PM

Very sad, Kathy. I'm very sorry to hear.

Horseshoot Says:
Monday, July 12, 2010 @6:33:38 PM

I am so sorry for your loss. What a wonderful person you must be, to reach out to help others, at such a time in your life. Bless you. Mike

dflowers Says:
Tuesday, July 13, 2010 @9:36:44 AM

Be strong, embrace the Lord and do random acts of kindness. That is what works for me when I have grieved for lost ones.

gottasmilealot Says:
Tuesday, July 13, 2010 @12:11:56 PM

Thank you for passing along some good advice at this most difficult time for you. Remember the good times and know that wondering why, dealing with the hurt, being angry at times, and wondring if there was something you could have done, or what sign you missed, is all a part of a tragedy like this. All the best to you and your family.

Kstevensmd Says:
Monday, July 19, 2010 @1:04:46 PM

Kathy, I've just read your post; I'm so sorry to know this. My thoughts are with you and your family.

barry Says:
Wednesday, July 21, 2010 @3:53:10 PM

I am so sorry for you loss. A very good friend of mine took his life last year and I still can't get over it. I wish you peace.

Poco50 Says:
Wednesday, July 28, 2010 @7:27:10 PM

I am sorry for your loss, its very hard to comprehend the situation, i have had 3 members of my family over the yrs. do the same thing, its been 32 yrs. since the first one and i still cant reconcile it in my mind. Thank you so very much for posting this for us to share your burdens with and may HaShem (G-D)comfort you at this time....

pstroud1 Says:
Thursday, July 29, 2010 @10:27:47 AM

Very sorry to hear this Kathy.
We had a grandson 19 yrs old, a few years ago that took his own life. It changes the whole family but we clung to each other and God helped us get through it.
May he do the same for you.
And thanks for sharing the help ideas, it shows a great caring on your part to think of others and not just yourself. God bless

mbirdmusic Says:
Friday, July 30, 2010 @6:50:34 PM

Kathy, so sorry to hear this... at a loss for words. God bless, and if you need anything or any help, please call us. Glenn and Barb

DantheBanjoMan Says:
Monday, August 2, 2010 @8:48:26 PM

I am sorry we have met under such unfortunate circumstances, but I read your blog and felt compelled to respond. I have not suffered that type of loss, but I have lived with a person who had problems similar to Paul's, and in that small way I can understand what you have gone through. However, the way it ended is beyond anything I can imagine, and I pray that you will find peace.

Greg-Banjo-Bass Says:
Thursday, August 12, 2010 @8:37:59 PM

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I'm at a loss for words. Keep strong, and know you have Bluegrass friends you can count on. If there is anything we can do to help you through this rough time, please let me know. Best wishes, thoughts and prayers are with you.... Greg

banjomikey Says:
Monday, February 14, 2011 @5:54:05 PM

That is just terrible. I know that feeling of "what the heck happened?" I've had two friends take their own lives, and both were just horrible. I know we've never talked before, but I'm thinking of you. We're all here for you.

BanjoFlyboy Says:
Saturday, March 5, 2011 @1:19:53 PM

Kathy, I hope time has healed some of your pain. God Bless, Danny

Bilbo1 Says:
Saturday, March 5, 2011 @1:35:51 PM

That's terrible, I have lost a cousin and a good friend to suicide and nobody saw it coming. All the best to you and your family. Liam

jim109b Says:
Sunday, March 6, 2011 @4:21:47 PM

Thinking about you Kathy. Time does fade the bad times, but you'll remember the good.

ole blackie Says:
Monday, May 23, 2011 @2:17:19 PM

Kathy, just ran across our post. This has been something I've struggled with for quite some time. The reasons are long and complicated, but I'm so sorry for your loss and I thank you for opening your heart to us.

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