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Musician's Sayings

Posted by thecowpokepicker on Friday, April 23, 2010

Over my years of playing instruments, my rather brief time being an aprentice luthier, I have found that many musicians and luthiers have thier own special little catchphrases and mottos and sayings. Even some people who don't play any instruments, but love bluegrass have some pretty good ones... "Ain't no such thing as a good song without a banjo in it."

Here, I have collected some of the best and funniest quotes I've heard. Some, I don't even remeber where they originated; all I remember is that I did, infact hear them, and I distinctively remember them. Some, like in the luthier sayings, I was watching an owner get overly protective about thier instruments and very concerned about how the luthier operates on them. I hope you enjoy hearing them as much as I did.

The words in bold is what someone else was saying, whoever that was...

Bass Player Sayings:

"Am I going slow enough?"

"Stop getting out of the beat!" 

"When did you get so lazy?"                                   "When I became a bass player."

"What do you mean, I'm out of tune?!"

"Guitarist, stay away from my basses and scram on back to yer trebles!" 

"What do you mean, bass is easy to play?!"

Guitarist Sayings:

"Is it.... tuned?"

"Yeah, they've got this new thing; it's called trussrod adjusting, you dumby."

"Say that again and I'll beat you on the head with my guitar!"

"But I need this one... then I won't have to switch tunings so often!"

"Nice ax!"

"Just a warning; The last person who touched my guitar is in my backyard... underground."

"Let me show ya how it's done."

"I thought you said you could read music!"

Fiddler Sayings:

"How long have you been fiddling?"                             "That's a sensless question..."

"When was the last time you played?                                  "I dunno. Does five minutes ago count?"

"I'm not scratching! It's just a little... rough."

"No, my fingers aren't broken..."

"Hey! Quit touchin' them tuners!"

"How can you say that?! I just tuned this morning!"

"What the rosin just happened?!"

"Oh, fiddlesticks."

"Care for a duel?"

"Well, if you would get away a few more feet, maybe you wouldn't get jabbed with the bow so much!"

"I can't hear you!"

Banjo Picker Sayings:

"Just because I'm a banjo player doesn't mean I don't have feelings!"

"What?! Haven't you ever seen a banjo player before?"

"Once I get done picking, will you wake me up?"

"Don't shoot me- I'm only the banjo player."

"How long can you go without playing banjo?"          "Not more than 5 hours. That's why my eyes are so red."

"Can you read music- notes?"                                             "Not enough to hurt my playing."

"Where's my picks?"

"Touch my banjo, prepare for an *ss whoopin' you'll never forget!"

"Eat. Sleep. Play banjo. Repeat."

"Why is your banjo picker dead?"                                   "Oh, he's not dead; see, the fingers are moving. Now that's concerntration."

"Hey! Did you see what I did?! Did you see that awesome banjo move I just did?!"

"Banjo hurts."

"Hey! It's not okay to hit me with your bow!"

"Don't make me claw you with my picks. They double as weapons."

"Huh?"

Luthier Sayings:

"Just sit back and watch the magic."

"All you need is a little pixie dust..."

"WHAT? NO HARDSHELL CASE?"

"Shut up! I'm tuning!"

"Look what you made me do!"

"I have an idea!... oh, the lightbulb just burnt out..."

"This is gonna be great!"

"Quit trying to talk me into doing it for free."

"Do you want me to put you in an electric chair or are you going to let my pry the face off?"

"Well yes, I remember it. It's like a son to me."

"Where's my pay?"

"Don't worry; I'll just use my fingernails."

"Spit works magic. Just watch..."

"Sit back and enjoy the fee."

"Don't tell me how to do it! I'm the luthier here!"

"Keep talking like that and I'm raising the fee!"

"Wait! Don't scratch it!"                                                 "Listen... Can you just get the heck out of here?!"

"I'm claustrophobic; leave my shop."

"Ah, sweet pay. Sweet pay."

***



3 comments on “Musician's Sayings”

ronhan Says:
Friday, April 23, 2010 @7:59:15 PM

Dear Bailey, Honey you have just put a musicians life in a list. You're only 11, get out while you still can!!!! :) Just kidding Ron.

sharakeet Says:
Friday, April 23, 2010 @8:29:42 PM

Here's another, one I've personally heard MANY times from guitar players..."dude, yer timin' is TERRIBLE!" My favorite one though, is one that you have heard but I have not..."Spit works like magic. Just watch..." Love that one!

Best always, Bailey...

D.W.

thecowpokepicker Says:
Saturday, April 24, 2010 @9:28:28 AM

Oh, I forgot one!
I hear people say this one all the time!
"What kinda tuning is that?!"

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