Posted by thetexan on Friday, October 9, 2009
A couple of weeks ago while sitting in church my wife elbowed me and shooshed me in front of everybody, right in the middle of the sermon! A few days later she did the same when she took me into Victoria's Secret to wait on her as she looked at every variety of fancy underwear (I think they call them panties) in the stacks. Only that time she took me aside and made it absolutely clear that I was embarrassing her and I had to stop it!
I can't help it! I have to do it and I can't stop it. And I'm quite sure that I'm not the only person dealing with this issue. For the last 20 years I have suffered with the malady called Banjocular Oral Flickeritus, more commonly know as tongue flickering! Yes, I'm one of the .44% of the population who suffer from this dibilitating syndrome. I rehearse banjo tunes by mimicing the sound of the banjo by flittering high speed eigth and sixteenth notes with my tongue.
In fact, I'm alot better at playing the banjo with my tongue than I am playing the banjo with a real banjo. I can do miraculous runs, astonishing licks, phenomenal backup and never lift a piece of wood. If I hear a neat song, whether on the radio or in church, I can instantly produce an outstanding lead or backup arrangement with the flick or two of the old mouth muscle! In fact, some of the best improvisation you have ever heard on a banjo, or....tongue, actually, has been created my me! I should get an award. IBMA FlickerMeister Of The Year!
If only I could translate that into actual banjo play! I do try. I sometimes surprise myself at my tongue's ingenuity at creating some otherworldly banjo phrase that sounds humanly impossible to reproduce on the actual instrument. Occasionaly I am successful. In fact, my tongue has become my best friend and practice partner. I have now become good at designing impressive banjo parts simply by thinking them up in my head, making them with my tongue and transfering them to the banjo.
The nice thing about all of this is that I can take my tongue with me where ever I go. It's easy to pack and carry and takes up very little room (although I know of some people who take up alot more room than others). I can whip it out at a moments notice and play it anywhere, including church and Victoria's Secret. And despite my wife's complaints I sound marvelous, if I do say so myself.
Somehow I don't think I'm the only one suffering from BOF. Most of those with the disease are embarrased to admit it. But with proper counceling and support more and more of us are coming out of the closet. It starts by taking that first step.........
Hi! I'm Dave........and I am a tongue flickerer!
Friday, October 9, 2009 @11:46:52 PM
Hey man, My wife was embarrassed by me for all kinds of things for 20 years. Now, she accepts me just the way I am. Persistance. The one thing you don't want to do is to stop embarrassing her. Persistance. Eventually, she will accept you just the way you are.
Saturday, October 10, 2009 @3:33:49 PM
Now that's funny! And you were even able to work church and Vitorias's secret into the same story too! Too good.
Well, I may not suffer from BOF, although I am sure I suffer from other maladies, but I feel you pain brother!
Just remeber there is a thin line between genius ( which I am sure you a prone to be known as ..being the father of BOF and all) and insanity.
My wife just tells me I am insane and moves on.
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