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My Younger Days.

Posted by blamethebanjo on Tuesday, February 27, 2007

As I move along down this winding path called life I think often of the days long ago.How do they seem so distant and so close at the same time?Inside I feel much the same as I did thirty years ago.I can easily touch from here that insecure kid as well as the brash hot headed know it all that combined with a million other parts equals me.

Lately though another aspect keeps reacuring in that tape loop going around in my head.What if anything has my life really meant at this point?Oh, I have accomplised a great many goals I set for myself.In doing so I was much harder on myself than I would ever have been on anyone else.But where is the significants of all this time spent?Have I made any difference at all? And if so was it for the good?

Each of us have beliefs that don't jell with other peoples exact way of thinking so if you are not of Christian faith I mean no disrespect when I say I hope someday when I stand before Jesus my acts  down here are not lopsided too much in the wrong direction.

I have raised three children and been married almost thirty five years to my childhood sweetheart.None of that did I do perfectly.A lot of the things I would change if I could.Being limited by this feeble mind of mine hasn't always caused me to do the right thing.Some of it downright dumb when I look back.

Yet there it stands.Written in stone,what Darrell did with his life so far.No excuses from me either.I made my nest,some of it.Some was made especially for me.My cross to carry so to say.

Even these ailments I have now were most likely in some way  brought on by me in some degree.None of it on purpouse although I admit I could have taken better care of myself.I didn't smoke and get cancer but I could have eaten better.I'm not sure how a person comes down with a bone disease but I am probably to blame somehow.And so my question is the one we all wrestle with I guess.What is the meaning of all this?

I don't buy that we are accidents from a big bang having crawled like tadpoles out of the sea.Changing from frog to monkey to man just so.That is like saying "I threw this handfull of sand in the camp fire and it came out a perfect Coke bottle!" Not likely.

What are your thoughts on this subject? I would like some guidence from people who are somewhat like me.We do all in fact like banjos don't we? Even so, I just wonder about all this.



4 comments on “My Younger Days.”

Unplugged Says:
Tuesday, February 27, 2007 @4:00:32 PM

Thanks for your openness and candor, Darrell. I have found that the more people I meet, the more I feel that our lives are all pretty much in parallel, with fairly insignificant differences. We all just have to do the best with whatever cards we have been dealt.

Now I consider myself a spiritual fellow who also accepts that evolution defines the How of our existence, and that we each individually need to define the Why of our existence. I may only be an astonishingly minute particle of the Universe, but I choose to be the most significant particle that I can, all things considered.

Joanchek Says:
Wednesday, February 28, 2007 @10:03:01 AM

Everyone makes a mark on the world.  Some marks are more visible than others, but they're all there.  We see them in the faces of our children and grandchildren.  Perhaps a health problem allows a doctor to learn something that will help another down the road.  The seeds from our flower gardens blow far and wide.

There's wisdom in "think globally, act locally."  If we all tend our own figurative back yards, perhaps the rest will fall into place.  I do not think we ever see our own lives as a whole, for what they are in total.  But I do think we can see small joys, and see their effects as they mount and grow.

I am probably very unlike you in most ways, from the most basic (gender) to the most complex (philosophically.)  The middle ground is where progess is made.  And if a common interest--even if that common interest is rather insignificant in the great grand scheme of things--can bring us together to share some enjoyment of life, then that's enough to make a significant difference.

He drew a circle that shut me out–
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
But Love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a circle that took him in!

“Outwitted” by Edwin Markham (complete poem)

 

blamethebanjo Says:
Wednesday, February 28, 2007 @4:01:32 PM

Thanks, I appreciate your words very much.  Darrell.

Mumble Peg Says:
Sunday, March 11, 2007 @10:58:55 AM

Your piece r4eminds of something I wrote some time ago, herewith: YESTERDAY and WINTER It seems just yesterday that I was young, just married and embarking on my new life with my mate. And yet in a way, it seems like eons ago, and I wonder where all the years went. I know that I lived them all...and I have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams. But, here it is...the winter of my life and it catches me by surprise. How did I get here so fast? Where did the years go and where did my babies go? And where did my youth go? I remember well... seeing older people through the years and thinking that those older people were years away from me and that winter was so far off that I could not fathom it or imagine fully what it would be like. But, here it is... My age is beginning to show and we are now those older folks that we used to see and never thought we'd be. Each day now, I find that just getting a shower is a real target for the day! And taking a nap is not a treat anymore...it's mandatory! Cause if I don't on my own free will...I just fall asleep where I sit! And so, now I enter into this new season of my life unprepared for all the aches and pains and the loss of strength and ability to go and do things. But, at least I know, that though the winter has come, and I'm not sure how long it will last, this I know, that when it's over...its over! Yes, I have regrets. There are things I wish I hadn't done and things I should have done. But indeed, there are many things I'm happy to have done. Its all in a lifetime... So, if you're not in your winter yet ... let me remind you, that it will be here faster than you think. So, whatever you would like to accomplish in your life, please do it quickly! Life goes by quickly. So, do what you can today, because you can never be sure whether this is your winter or not! You have no promise that you will see all the seasons of your life ... so, live for God today, and say all the things that you want your loved ones to remember. "Life is God's gift to you. The way you live your life is your gift to God, and those who come after. Make it a fantastic one." LIVE IT WELL!!

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