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 ARCHIVED TOPIC: Dumb Banjo Jokes


Please note this is an archived topic, so it is locked and unable to be replied to. You may, however, start a new topic and refer to this topic with a link: http://www.banjohangout.org/archive/294750

banjobart - Posted - 11/20/2014:  15:56:35

Little Johnny and the Banjo


"When I grow up I want to be a banjo player" said little Johnny. 

"I'm sorry dear," said his mother, "you'll have to make up your mind. You can't have both - you can either grow up or be a banjo player."


 


Banjo Player in the Barn


A Rabbi and a banjo player are traveling through the country with their friend from India when their car gets stuck in a ditch. Stranded, they walk to the nearest farmhouse and knock on the door. A farmer and his beautiful daughter answer the door. The farmer says he'll be glad to put them up for the night and they can go get help in the morning. However, there is only room for two in the house, one of them will have to sleep in the barn. 

 


The Rabbi volunteers and goes off to the barn. A few minutes later, there is a knock at the door, it's the Rabbi, "I cannot sleep with the pig, it's sacrilege."


Then the Hindu volunteers to sleep out there and goes off to the barn. A few minutes later, there is another knock on the door, it’s the Hindu, "I cannot sleep with the cow, it’s sacrilege."


 


So, now the banjo player takes his banjo and goes off to sleep in the barn. A few minutes later, there is a knock on the door--it's the cow and the pig!!!


 


Bar Banjo Joke


 


A man walks into a bar, and goes up to the bartender and says "Hey, I just heard the funniest banjo joke, want to hear it?" 

Bartender: [Pointing at the wall behind the bar] "You see that Black Belt? Well, that's mine for karate, and I play the banjo. [Pointing to the end of the bar.] You see that burly guy in the tank top with all those muscles? Well, that's my brother, and he plays the banjo. [Pointing to a table.] You see that Hell's Angel over there with all the black leather and the spiked collar? Well, that's my cousin and he plays the banjo. Now, do you still want to tell a banjo player joke in here?" 

Man: "Well, not if I must explain it three times!!!"


 


What’s difference between a banjo and an onion? No one cries when you cut up a banjo.


 


What’s the difference between a banjo and a Harley? You can tune up a Harley.


 


What’s the difference between a banjo and a trampoline? You take your shoes off to jump on the trampoline.


 


How are a banjo and a murder trial alike? Everyone’s relieved when the case is closed.


 


What’s the best sound to ever come from a banjo? Splash.


 


 


What do you call a banjo player without a girlfriend? Homeless.


...

figmo59 - Posted - 11/20/2014:  16:00:44

Hey,...

Tha truth hurts... ;0)

jbalch - Posted - 11/20/2014:  16:05:37

What do you say to a banjo player wearing a new 3-piece suit?:   "Will the defendant please rise?"


JimInAlabama - Posted - 11/20/2014:  19:54:50

What's the difference between a banjo player and a savings bond?  A savings bond eventually matures and makes a little money.


Ev - Posted - 11/20/2014:  22:15:01

A banjo player must have invented the tooth brush.
Anyone else would have named it the teeth brush.

Compass56 - Posted - 11/20/2014:  22:31:30

Are these dumb jokes about banjos or jokes about dumb banjos? The title of this thread could go either way.

gregsquared - Posted - 11/21/2014:  00:50:33

If the title went the other way, it would be "Jokes Banjo Dumb."  Leave us not be silly. 



 


Buzzsaw - Posted - 11/21/2014:  07:23:17

I Love Banjo Jokes...I believe they are all make up by People who are Jealous of Us.



You Can Walk Into Any Restaurant, Bar, Mall Etc. Carrying a Guitar and No one give you a Second Look But Walk into any Public Place at all carrying a Banjo and You're an Instant Celebrity...You Don't even have to Play it!


dat - Posted - 11/21/2014:  07:31:41

a banjo player walked into a bar, the rest of the band ducked


OM45GE - Posted - 11/21/2014:  09:21:48

You can tell the stage is level when the banjo player drools out of both sides of the mouth.


BanjoFlyboy - Posted - 11/21/2014:  09:38:19

wink



Banjo players spend half their time tuning and the other half playing out of tune. 


RawhideCreek - Posted - 11/21/2014:  09:55:28

quote:
Originally posted by jbalch

What do you say to a banjo player wearing a new 3-piece suit?:   "Will the defendant please rise?"






What do you say about a banjo player wearing a new suit?  "Doesn't he look natural?  And all these lovely flowers . . . "


hanknc - Posted - 11/21/2014:  12:08:32

What's the difference between a banjo player and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four.

Bass player locks his keys in the car. It took him three hours to get the banjo player out of the back seat.

I'll be here all night.

pickNgrin - Posted - 11/21/2014:  12:43:55

There were two banjo players on either side of a river. The first one shouts "how can I get to the other side?"



The second one shouts "What do you mean? You're already on the other side!"


RawhideCreek - Posted - 11/21/2014:  13:24:34

"Dumb banjo jokes" is ultimately pleonasm.


Laurence Diehl - Posted - 11/21/2014:  14:03:00

Some good ones here!



There are also fiddle player jokes, my favorite of which is:



How do you know when the fiddle is played out of tune?



The bow is moving


twelvefret - Posted - 11/21/2014:  16:56:01

My favorite banjo joke or saying is, "when banjos are banned, only criminals will have banjos". big


dawgdoc - Posted - 11/21/2014:  17:23:45

What's the definition of perfect pitch?



You throw a banjo into a dumpster without hitting the sides and it lands on an accordian. 



 


Dock Jekel - Posted - 11/22/2014:  19:31:13

Banjo players spend half their time tuning their banjos... and the other half playing out of tune!


dmiller - Posted - 11/22/2014:  21:02:31

Sometimes banjo pickers get the last laugh - - -



 




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