banjo1971 - Posted - 02/13/2014:  11:30:10

IF.. you had not made regretful mistakes?  Are there certain areas in life that you wish you would have done it differently and you know things would  be going smoother had you not reacted impulsively?

figmo59 - Posted - 02/13/2014:  11:38:26

Just no sense dwellin on it...

Start from where yer at....n...try ta do bettah...

banjo1971 - Posted - 02/13/2014:  11:40:11

quote:

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Originally posted by figmo59

Just no sense dwellin on it...



Start from where yer at....n...try ta do bettah...

---

I like your idea on that.  There isn't any sense dwelling on past mistakes.

Nancy - Posted - 02/13/2014:  11:49:55

I posted this earlier....Maybe this will help.

United States Joined 3/11/2004 19238 Posts

2/11/2014 9:51 AM           In all of this love and so forth...one thing that I read sticks in my mind. It goes like so: No second guesses. Move forward with no second guessing. ...no hesitation. Life is in front of us, not behind us. What was done is what was done. Nobody can change that. But move forward. Never look back. Go forward. No regrets. Forgive others. Forgive yourself.   Nancy

pandjlocke - Posted - 02/13/2014:  11:50:33

There are things that would be different. I'm not sure anything would be better. It seems that marrying my 2 ex wives is a regrettable thing, but had I not married them I wouldn't have the 3 children and 7 grandchildren that came of the marriages. I can't fathom that would be better; I love them deeply. I can say that I wish I wasn't once a drunk. But had I not been, I may not have the relationship with the Lord I now cherish. Can't see how that would be better. I can wish that my son wasn't born with an debilitating illness that would send him to an early grave; but it was through him that a treatment was found and kids don't die from that any more. 

I think I'll just be happy with things the way they are.

fivebranch - Posted - 02/13/2014:  11:56:41

Like the line in a versus of an George Jones song (You and Me and Time). "We can't light the candles of the birthdays that we missed...." can't undo what's already been done, learn from it apologize for it and move on.

steve davis - Posted - 02/13/2014:  12:02:52

No.I never dwell on what ifs from the past.
I embrace every decision I've made and feel they all made me who I am,today.

I don't analyze life.

banjo bill-e - Posted - 02/13/2014:  12:11:33

Even with some years under our belt, we don't *really* know what would have been better or worse. We can project how things might have turned out, but life is unpredictable. It is just possible that what we thought was a terrible mistake saved us from a worse fate. And of course, getting it wrong is sometimes the only way to learn how to get it right. Since we can't really know how things might have turned out it is less than helpful to beat ourselves up about it. Just make the most out of what is in your hands today.

jbanjoist - Posted - 02/13/2014:  12:14:46

Pretty much what Steve said. I am happy with who I am and how my life has worked out but to be clear I did not make any disastrous choices.

Could I have made a better choice in marriage the first time around? Oh wow no doubt but I would not have the fine daughter and grandson I have now or the fine wife I have now too. I met her while going to the store for something for my daughter when she wasn't feeling well, (yes I was separated at the time.) And get this, I might not play any musical instruments! I got interested due to my ex's step father. Imagine that! I might not even be here poking a keyboard this very minute!

Now to expand that does that mean I would not have had an equally fine wife, daughter, etc. had I not made a better choice in marriage originally? It sure doesn't but that is not important now.

Now is what is important and when we learn to make the most of now we have learned a good lesson.

Edited by - jbanjoist on 02/13/2014 12:17:26

donc - Posted - 02/13/2014:  12:28:11

I made previous mistakes only because I am who I am. Through all my backward ways things have worked out very well.

pandjlocke - Posted - 02/13/2014:  12:29:08

I don't think for a minute that I'm through screwing up.

Edit: J-Lo will verify that.

Edited by - pandjlocke on 02/13/2014 12:29:37

JMalmsteen - Posted - 02/13/2014:  12:34:50

Everything is for a reason, good and bad. You wouldn't appreciate the good as much if you didn't make mistakes to learn from.

steve davis - Posted - 02/13/2014:  12:58:33

The silver lining of a regrettable action is that you improved because you disgusted yourself.

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/13/2014:  13:39:41

I'm in a good place today,so I can't regret much. But I do wish some people hadn't gotten hurt. Hopefully those folks used those painful times to learn from,and they have become wiser by it. Like don't hang around with banjo players!    

figmo59 - Posted - 02/13/2014:  13:46:37

quote:

---

Originally posted by banjo1971

quote:

---

Originally posted by figmo59

Just no sense dwellin on it...



Start from where yer at....n...try ta do bettah...

---

I like your idea on that.  There isn't any sense dwelling on past mistakes.

---

jbanjoist - Posted - 02/13/2014:  14:02:53

Yep. I have a hard time wrapping it around my head that there are a lot of people that don't think they ever make mistakes and that ignorance makes them incapable of learning from them.

That's a recipe for a mess.

gclaunch - Posted - 02/13/2014:  14:33:12

Many people here reflected in ways that I can relate to............"...areas...that you wish you would have done differently...", I dunno, maybe parted my hair on the other side!

pandjlocke - Posted - 02/13/2014:  14:45:27

I guess the answer to the original question is:

I don't know how my life would have been different if I had not made the mistakes I did. This is the only life I have and this is the only way I've lived it. And these are the only results I know.

donc - Posted - 02/13/2014:  15:27:05

Our decisions as younger people are not always our own decisions. We often made decisions based upon what someone else told us was a good decision. We also became interested in things because our friends may have derived enjoyment from these activities. Our well meaning parents also seemed to assume what we really wanted. As a kid I was suppose to embrace learning at school. In my own honest experience it was a complete bore for 95% of the time. All boys loved to play sports was the opinion of many great minds. I enjoyed kicking a ball around but I could never see the wisdom of getting serious about it. At a young age I was already going against the flow. I havn't changed much.

mbuk06 - Posted - 02/13/2014:  15:54:03

Anyone who hasn't made regretful mistakes just isn't trying hard enough.

OM45GE - Posted - 02/13/2014:  16:29:41

If I regret anything, it's the time I wasted fretting over things and not just enjoying life. I'm in a good spot and have no idea if I would be here without the "mistakes" I've made, so I can't say I would take anything back.

Kenneth Logsdon - Posted - 02/13/2014:  17:51:59

My biggest regret and something I would change.... Was wasting eight years in absolute total, ignorance and smartass mind when I started playing the banjo.. I picked up one and in a few minutes (transferring Adkins fingerpicking skills) I could play a version of any tune... Bring em on .. Any country, jazz (very simular to what Bela is doing now) rock.."I can play ANYTHING on the banjo" self quote!! All over the neck, upside down and backwards, play parts of two songs at once...



BOY, I was "the hot banjo picker" (in my own mind).. Showing them old guys (and telling them).. How to do it!! Breaking new ground!! Taking the banjo where it had never been!! Doing my own thing!! Yeahhh!!



Theenn.. One night I saw a "real" banjo player playing a straight forward Stanley Style... And my self inflated banjo world came crashing down... And I saw the absolute Ass mess, I was doing.. Embarasses the hell out of me, even today..some of the antics I was pulling in total ignorance.. The truth was..  That I couldn't play ANYTHING on the banjo!!!



As a result I had to start over, behind zero, with too many horrible habits ingrained and almost impossible to break!!

As a consequence I will never be a good banjo picker after loosing/frittering away my "formative years">>



Yept, I would change that in a heartbeat if I could!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edited by - Kenneth Logsdon on 02/13/2014 17:53:48

mike gregory - Posted - 02/13/2014:  17:59:49

Are you perhaps referring to the Sales Program I joined, purchased one of their products to impress all my freinds and relatives , so they'd want to work FOR ME, selling them?

And about a week later, the State Attorney General declared it an illegal pyramid scheme?

I was not really familiar with that term, until I realized I had (basically) purchased a very expensive paperweight!

I'm reluctant to even GOOGLE it.
but if you wish, see if anybody posted anything about the "Allstates Safety Stabilizer".

(Brilliant marketing move, simply adding an S to what was, at the time, a rather well-respected part of the SEARS brand. They had nothing to do with Sears)

Cornflake - Posted - 02/13/2014:  19:38:40

Each time I open up the freezer i have to brace myself because I might find something dead and creepy in there. If I had married someone other than a wildlife field biologist this probably wouldn't be a problem.

Sultans of Claw - Posted - 02/13/2014:  19:59:43

If only I hadn't stumbled upon the Off-Topic Forum . . .      

Brian T - Posted - 02/13/2014:  20:04:48

Oh, come on! There's no faults in no place and that applies to people as well.
Make the best you can of what you have. Optimize your circumstances.

At the end of the day, when you look into the mirror, that's all the real help you will ever get.
Breathe in, breathe out, move on.

DeanT - Posted - 02/13/2014:  23:38:27

I would have played baseball. Simple as that. I still don't know how I let that dream slip away. I'd also be a millionaire if it weren't for my first three wives. Things turned out great anyway, can't complain. 

overhere - Posted - 02/14/2014:  02:16:11

"don't break the rungs on the ladder on the way up, you may need them on the way down"- author unknown

alishabear97 - Posted - 02/14/2014:  22:00:09

I'm too young to have too awful many regrets. I'm sure they're waiting to be made, though. Wish me luck. :)

BanjoRW - Posted - 02/14/2014:  22:54:02

The only regrets I have are the risks I didn't take.

JMalmsteen - Posted - 02/15/2014:  03:40:53

If you don't like the decisions you have made I'm the past, each day that you wake up, you have the power to change the path of your life. You can't change the past and living with regrets will just bring you down today and affect tomorrow and the future.