OM45GE - Posted - 01/09/2015:  14:15:47

share all but two letter and can both be used pejoratively.

However, they

Scaggs7 - Posted - 01/09/2015:  16:04:19

we're exactly like the last ones only not Zeroxed

it's colder here than

OM45GE - Posted - 01/10/2015:  04:27:03

we expected. 

That explains why I'm shoveling snow in a bathing suit and 

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/10/2015:  05:41:46

delivering lemonade to the neighborhood seniors.

As soon as it warms up

jistgreg - Posted - 01/10/2015:  06:04:28

I'm going to be shoveling snow with a Shop-Vac. 

It's so full of brackets 

OM45GE - Posted - 01/10/2015:  12:44:23

we could start our own hardware store.

That's not my idea of

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/10/2015:  13:19:05

a good time - Sam Drucker always seemed under pressure selling nails and mouse traps.

However,banjo hardware

Scaggs7 - Posted - 01/10/2015:  15:24:44

is not a building material for a house

this thing is stuck

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/11/2015:  06:50:25

probably caused from the fog on old Paint Crick.

I'm planning to be in heaven 30 minuits before the devil knows I'm gone, but the traffic

OM45GE - Posted - 01/12/2015:  06:04:56

may not make that possible.

The last time I tried to get there

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/12/2015:  10:59:11

the lineup to the Pearly Gates was 10 light years long.

St. Peter was

OM45GE - Posted - 01/12/2015:  11:42:23

in a surly mood and making everyone answer obscure trivia questions before he would let them in.

One guy had to tell him how many pairs of hummingbird skins

Scaggs7 - Posted - 01/12/2015:  16:30:49

he had locked away in the barn

never underestimate a

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/12/2015:  20:39:36

guy with a tire iron on a dark street at midnight.

Balling the jack

MWBailey - Posted - 01/12/2015:  20:54:46

could be painful without proper preparation.

I once knew a guy named Jack, but

jistgreg - Posted - 01/13/2015:  01:25:07

we weren't really close. 

He was In A Box, trying to sell me fast food hamburgers 

OM45GE - Posted - 01/13/2015:  04:26:10

and disgusting so-called tacos.

A friend of mine used to eat

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/13/2015:  04:36:07

the box instead of the food in it- he said it boosted his fibre intake.

His toilet,however,

OM45GE - Posted - 01/13/2015:  04:41:53

looked like the paper recycling bin at the grocery store.

It led to some interesting

jistgreg - Posted - 01/13/2015:  13:27:13

reading "between the lines," if you catch my drift. 

Today the snow is drifting 

OM45GE - Posted - 01/13/2015:  13:58:52

up around the second floor windows.

I'm hoping it stops soon

Scaggs7 - Posted - 01/13/2015:  14:32:14

so I can get off to go to the store

the ducks at my place look

OM45GE - Posted - 01/13/2015:  14:40:22

oddly like skunks.

They smell pretty bad too so I'm starting

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/13/2015:  17:37:12

to spray them with Febreeze(TM) (for Greg), then chase them into the ceement pond filled with tomato juice.
My battleaxe neighbor reported me to

OM45GE - Posted - 01/13/2015:  17:53:19

the ASPCA for cruelty to skunk-like ducks.

I'm worried that she'll

Scaggs7 - Posted - 01/13/2015:  18:29:02

find LW and turn him in and then cage him -- he should change his feather colors

the only solution to this is to

OM45GE - Posted - 01/14/2015:  03:06:20

teletransport the old battleaxe to an alternative universe where she won't be able to bother anyone.

All I need to do is

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/14/2015:  04:58:56

contact Scotty and have her beamed outta here.

But his mules

OM45GE - Posted - 01/14/2015:  05:51:30

have been beaming themselves back and forth between alternate universes where mules rule the planets.

They've been monopolizing the

jistgreg - Posted - 01/14/2015:  14:23:01

Beamer and I can't find the keys to the Mercedes. 

A muley cow 

OM45GE - Posted - 01/14/2015:  15:20:06

was making eyes at me the other day.

I don't know what your view of inter-species relationships is, but I

MWBailey - Posted - 01/14/2015:  17:05:32

Think it might be uncomfortable.

My cousin once had this pig; she

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/14/2015:  17:57:28

was an expert in animal husbandry, although the neighbor boys refused to co-operate with her wishes.

Her fantasies

OM45GE - Posted - 01/14/2015:  17:58:24

would have resulted in some of the weirdest creatures never seen on this earth.

She liked to call herself the

jistgreg - Posted - 01/14/2015:  19:16:57

"It" grl, but life with her was rather rocksey. 

She was only a stableman's daughter 

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/14/2015:  19:34:52

,but her bul****t was spread far and wide through the cyber nether regions.

Why she

OM45GE - Posted - 01/15/2015:  05:26:13

didn't want to be my girlfriend is a mystery to me.

Perhaps I wasn't

jistgreg - Posted - 01/15/2015:  07:07:37

sensitive enough to her b******t needs. 

Baby sitting is 

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/15/2015:  07:23:07

a capital offense in most jurisdictions,since it causes great harm to a baby.

Minding a baby,however,

OM45GE - Posted - 01/15/2015:  07:27:04

is a different matter.

The baby doesn't mind if you mind the baby with

MWBailey - Posted - 01/15/2015:  19:30:45

mindfulness and peppermints.

It can be dangerous, however, to mix peppermints with

OM45GE - Posted - 01/16/2015:  02:59:56

diet coke.

I tried it

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/16/2015:  03:08:23

on one of my mules.It ran off down the hill and jumped in the crick.

But if you tried it on a coon dog,it might

OM45GE - Posted - 01/16/2015:  03:11:40

launch it into low earth orbit.

Why don't we try it on

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/16/2015:  07:39:11

my battleaxe neighbour ,before she causes me more grief.

A battleaxe in orbit

OM45GE - Posted - 01/16/2015:  12:22:21

would be a newsworthy event.

We could track her progress

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/19/2015:  03:45:48

via my new 125mm infra-red telescope.

It's so powerfull that you could read the label on her

OM45GE - Posted - 01/19/2015:  04:21:11

underwear, assuming she's wearing any.

That would be a big assumption, given

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/19/2015:  10:09:53

her penchant for flatulation, unexpected bladder releases and other odious behaviors.

NASA might