I had to give up on people several times when they couldn't or wouldn't develop themselves any further.

If he's not able recognizing that his 'fun' is not enough to keep this combination staying together, the decision is yours.

Acknowledge that some people are playing at their limits, because of their inability to hear what's wrong.

In Bluegrass this is a sure deal breaker, and probably in Old Time too.

I think you deserve a better guitar player.

You might ask him if he'd just strum the chords rather than doing a backbeat. That might ease the pressure on you to feel the beat.

I play bluegrass rhythm guitar and do the usual boom-chuck, boom-chuck ( heavy on the1, light on the 2, heavy on 3 and light on 4) and that should be what he's doing if he's played bluegrass rhythm. If not, then please explain, if you can, what he's doing that confuses you.

I'll see if I can find a recording.. Thanks!!

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Originally posted by RB-1

I had to give up on people several times when they couldn't or wouldn't develop themselves any further.

If he's not able recognizing that his 'fun' is not enough to keep this combination staying together, the decision is yours.

Acknowledge that some people are playing at their limits, because of their inability to hear what's wrong.

In Bluegrass this is a sure deal breaker, and probably in Old Time too.

I think you deserve a better guitar player.  Raise eyebrow, wink, wink, say no more...

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"My DH and I play together as a duo for open mics. He has been a rhythm guitar player for over 50 years."

Hi Bruno,

"DH" usually means: dear husband.  Although, right now, he may be the 'GDH'.  

I began my ife as a musician at 15 or 16 as a guitar player and played no other instrument (failed on several though) until I got my first Good Time banjo when I was about 53. Playing as a guitar player with a banjo player only, as opposed to playing with a fiddle or mandolin or some other lead instrument in the mix is one problem. Playing just for a banjo player is another problem. I realize that I can do it now better in both Bluegrass and especially old time because I now play old time banjo, though I would never besmirch the holy practice of bluegrass banjo by attempting it.

Backbeat really is for other kinds of music than old time banjo and only limited of use in bluegrass. You have to confront this issue openly with this guitarist. Maybe that is what he or she wants to play, and maybe you need to find another guitarist.

Such things are hard. It is often hard just to find someone who wants to play period. Often you get two or three people together who are long used to playing by themselves, or playing in one specific aggregation, it is quite hard to get them to play in another.

On the other hand, like so many people who come in here and ask for help with a problem, PLEASE COME BACK HERE AND TELL US HOW THINGS WORKED OUT TO SOLVE OR NOT SOLVE THE PROBLEM./

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Originally posted by writerrad

You have to confront this issue openly with this guitarist.  This is the way.

Maybe that is what he or she wants to play, and maybe you need to find another guitarist.  What?!

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"My DH and I play together as a duo for open mics. He has been a rhythm guitar player for over 50 years."

Hi Tony,

"DH" usually means: dear husband.  The guitarist is Connie's spouse.

That can be a problem.  Just before we decided to tie the knot about 20 years ago, my wife and I had a minor breakup.  She decided that she would attempt to win me back by taking banjo lessons and bought a Goodtime Resonator banjo.,  She took lessons with a great local bluegrass banjo maker and repair person picker and banjo player I much admire, but alas she found his lessons did not include the Bach and Mozart in standard notation she had played on piano with her mother and her Aunts growing up in Germany in the 50s and early 60s.   

Once together we did try to play  Christmas songs with her on the piano and me on guitar or banjo for our first two Christmases together, but that has been all in what is now 21 years of marriage.  She does like the people I meet playing old time music and bluegrass much more than any of my other associates, but after a few experiments, I realize she has her music and I have mine.

Most music people play on banjo is very particular.  I only played guitar from the time I was 14 until I was 52 or 53.  A good accompanist adjusts her or his rhythm to the music being played.  One of the best old time guitar players, a guy with albums and books on playing old time guitar once told me that playing guitar in old time is about being unselfish and dedicated.  That is much more so in bluegrass,

Marriage is often too about being unselfish and dedicated and avoiding conflict!

Marriage is a very good and precious thing!

If I wasn't already the low man on the totem pole, I'd lower my standards.  

I was playing for the first time with a friend and former pro bluegrass banjo player—he playing guitar and I clawhammer banjo. It wasn’t working, and we knew it. We stopped to “get right,” and I noted he was playing bluegrass ttime, but with clawhammer, we needed dance time. He understood instantly, and all was good when we returned to playing. I’m puzzled that a veteran rhythm guitarist seems unable to find a similar change. Backup guitar for clawhammer should not be strum heavy.

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Originally posted by Bill Rogers

Backup guitar for clawhammer should not be strum heavy.

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Back up like that in Bluegrass can be awful too. 

Guitar is supposed to be the 'glue' between bass and mandolin ( or the other instrument providing off beat).

The first in back up is the first note of the beat, the rest is optional.

Red Steer

Great back-up guitar-

Irish-style probably in something like DADGAD tuning.

If you're playing rhythm guitar in a group that includes bass, keyboard, and/or drums, you're part of the rhythm section. The rest of them are there on the downbeat, and your part can be all about the backbeat. In a duo, you ARE the rhythm section, and the downbeat becomes your primary responsibility.