Or "Unfortunate Cookies."

I believe at the end of each so-called fortune you are to add the phrase "...in bed."... 

...just to add a little humor. 

I got a modern version this week---"check your email for an important message!" I no longer eat the stale cookies. I think that they were better when I was a kid, but probably I was just a kid and thought that I liked them.

I could complain about lousy Chinese workmanship, but I believe most of these are American made, since they do not actually have fortune cookies anywhere in China. I have seen some poor manufacturing in the past, so not surprised even if any of the fortunes were left out. Sounds like wokeness has invaded our cookies.

I will say this; I have a fortune cookie recipe, where you make them at home like a thin round cookie, bake, then fold them up and stick in a muffin pan to "set up" and cool to shape. You add a fortune just as you fold. The good part of this is, you can always make up whatever fortune you want to include, such as, "when you asked the doctor for a second opinion, he said, you were ugly too".
Making your own could be fun...

In 1983 I took a temporary transfer to help out in the telephone company's cable records office. In my first week I had to learn to look up files and make changes using a computer. Until that week I had never touched any computer. I was probably the dumbest and slowest student they ever saw. At the end of the week me, my wife, and our friends decided to go to the local Chinese food restaurant. When the final bill arrived they included 4 fortune cookies. Mine read as follows.. ' To become successful you should take a computer course'

Decades ago, a couple of morning radio guys were talking, and one of them said

"Ya know... I'm not superstitious at all, but I can't explain what happened last night!!
We were at a Chinese restaurant, and when I read my fortune cookie, it said:
A short person with straight black hair will soon present you with a bill for the food which you have eaten.
and that's EXACTLY what happened!

quote:

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Originally posted by Elmo_Smiley

I could complain about lousy Chinese workmanship, but I believe most of these are American made, since they do not actually have fortune cookies anywhere in China. I have seen some poor manufacturing in the past, so not surprised even if any of the fortunes were left out. Sounds like wokeness has invaded our cookies.

I will say this; I have a fortune cookie recipe, where you make them at home like a thin round cookie, bake, then fold them up and stick in a muffin pan to "set up" and cool to shape. You add a fortune just as you fold. The good part of this is, you can always make up whatever fortune you want to include, such as, "when you asked the doctor for a second opinion, he said, you were ugly too".
Making your own could be fun...

---

What do you mean by "wokeness?"

Joe

Where's the fortune?? 

Dunno .... maybe here: https://www.chowhound.com/1655733/company-produces-most-fortune-cookies/ 

 [As I understand it, they're rolling in dough* .... but don't worry about me ... this too shall pass.  ]

* hahahaha!!!

I bring them home and give them to my grand kids. They seem to think they are fun.

We all went to a Chinese buffet for lunch and all our fortune cookie fortunes actually held sayings like: you will meet someone important or you will have a special day this week.

One special feature of fortune cookies. About 20 years ago my doctor told me to lower my cholesterol .. or else! As I got into some free literature one section dealt with the dangers of bakery goods. One line I remember was the bakery product with the lowest cholesterol count.. You guessed it. .. Fortune Cookies. It didn't go to my head because I know I probably could not eat more than 2 fortune cookies in one sitting.

There's a piece of paper inside those little cookies?

^^ reminds me of 'way back. 

To play a joke on her husband, my sister put a layer of wax paper in a couple of his sandwiches one day.  However when he got home he made no mention of it. Then she didn't know whether or not he had flipped the table ... playing a joke on her.  So, she finally just had to ask. Turns out he had eaten them without noticing. 

[But I "get" that ... a layer of wax paper would go pretty soggy, pretty quickly in something like a tomato sandwich.   And some labourers like to get the eating part of lunch break over in time to allow for a few minutes of nap time.]

I prefer the almond cookie-with the single almond in the middle. Alas, we don't see those much anymore with the check...you have to buy one. Brad

We had one a few years ago that said, “ You will get some new clothes”.

I couldn’t believe that…we laughed and laughed at that. Saved it and hung it up in the kitchen…but, not sure where it is these days anymore.

quote:

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Originally posted by Bill Rogers

Had Chinese takeout last night with my niece and her husband. I wound up with four fortune cookies…but, as usual, no fortunes, rather a group of aphorisms: E.g.—“All happiness is in the mind.” I can’t remember the last time I read a fortune from a fortune cookie. Where are the fortunes, such as “You will win the lottery this week.” Or The stock market will soon collapse?” Do any members find fortunes in fortune cookies? Or should we start a movement to rename them “aphorism cookies?”

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Maybe they got sued for committing false fortune telling and are trying to avoid disappointing you by posing aphorisms as fortunes to get around it. Just saying, if you got one that said, "you will find new love in your life soon," and your wife was sitting there when you read it, I can see a law suit coming. 

I had a fortune once that said "There wil be a knock on the door, don't answer".

^ That feels like a plant by your significant other… once they caught wind of an incoming banjo with the ol’ “signature required upon delivery” service selected…

there has to be some fortunes here in my area. i see it everyday. young people in their mid to late 20s. brand new house 2500 to 3000 a month. new full size suv 700 to 800 per month. new full size pickup another 700 to 800 per month. and don't forget the boat another 700 or so a month. so lets see what we have here.
i come up with 4800 to 5300 bucks a month just for housing and transportation oh yeah and the boat. and don't for get the taxes.
i know i have been around a while, but what do these people do for a living or is it they inherited a fortune,, hmmmm.
we have not even got into food, clothing,, utilities,, cable and internet,, insurance . and if they have kids ,
thats a lot of dough going out each month... what kid of jobs pay that much money. there has to be some fortune in there somewhere.

quote:

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Originally posted by 1935tb-11

there has to be some fortunes here in my area. i see it everyday. young people in their mid to late 20s. brand new house 2500 to 3000 a month. new full size suv 700 to 800 per month. new full size pickup another 700 to 800 per month. and don't forget the boat another 700 or so a month. so lets see what we have here.
i come up with 4800 to 5300 bucks a month just for housing and transportation oh yeah and the boat. and don't for get the taxes.
i know i have been around a while, but what do these people do for a living or is it they inherited a fortune,, hmmmm.
we have not even got into food, clothing,, utilities,, cable and internet,, insurance . and if they have kids ,
thats a lot of dough going out each month... what kid of jobs pay that much money. there has to be some fortune in there somewhere.

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Terry ...... reminds me of one of the wealthiest guys in Charlotte whose father arrived in Charlotte on a Greyhound bus, stepped off the bus and said "who is the wealthiest man in Charlotte" ....... found him and married his daughter.  That is one way to a fortune.

The best fortune inside a fortune cookie happened when we were dinning out as a family. My father grumbled that no one had noticed his hair cut. He opened his fortune cookie and it read: Your hair looks nice.

See? They know what's what.