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Nov 29, 2021 - 6:16:53 AM
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Players Union Member

DC5

USA

22109 posts since 6/30/2015
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This is intended as a light hearted spin-off of the Christmas tree thread. In that thread it was posited that candles should be illegal. Now I am not actually in favor of any new laws or restrictions. Anyone who has read my posts understands that. But that said, I have many pet peeves and if I could be the ultimate dictator I would implement some of these.

It would be illegal to play Christmas songs on the radio, television, or in stores before December 1.

Elected officials (law makers) would pay double the maximum penalty if they break a law.

No one would be allowed to purchase a dirt bike or ATV unless they could prove they owned acreage to ride it on, or they were a member of a dirt bike/ATV club.

Addendum to the last law - any state that collects sales tax or registration on dirt bikes or ATV's must provide public riding space for said vehicles.

OK, what stupid laws would you like to see if you had the ultimate power?

Nov 29, 2021 - 6:20:21 AM

chuckv97

Canada

61655 posts since 10/5/2013
Online Now

Banjo players ought to situated on every street corner.

Nov 29, 2021 - 6:27:25 AM
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figmo59

USA

34674 posts since 3/5/2008

Can O' worms.....
I know folks that would just plain outlaw...banjos...
Well... the playing of them.... :0/

Nov 29, 2021 - 6:28:47 AM
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kww

USA

1480 posts since 6/21/2008

Leaf blowers could only be operated after breaking them in by simulating colonoscopies on the owner.

Nov 29, 2021 - 6:31:25 AM
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4106 posts since 4/22/2018

quote:
Originally posted by DC5

This is intended as a light hearted spin-off of the Christmas tree thread. In that thread it was posited that candles should be illegal. Now I am not actually in favor of any new laws or restrictions. Anyone who has read my posts understands that. But that said, I have many pet peeves and if I could be the ultimate dictator I would implement some of these.

It would be illegal to play Christmas songs on the radio, television, or in stores before December 1.

Elected officials (law makers) would pay double the maximum penalty if they break a law.

No one would be allowed to purchase a dirt bike or ATV unless they could prove they owned acreage to ride it on, or they were a member of a dirt bike/ATV club.

Addendum to the last law - any state that collects sales tax or registration on dirt bikes or ATV's must provide public riding space for said vehicles.

OK, what stupid laws would you like to see if you had the ultimate power?


Can you amend law number one to December 20th?

Nov 29, 2021 - 6:33:08 AM
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YellowSkyBlueSun

Virgin Islands (U.S.)

614 posts since 5/11/2021

I'd make a law prohibiting someone from setting up a fishing spot within 100 yards of another fisherman, with enhanced penalties for setting up your ice shanty in the middle of my tip-up array.

Nov 29, 2021 - 6:37:56 AM

Owen

Canada

10099 posts since 6/5/2011

I think we've enacted enough stupidity in the last year and a half that I, for one, am ready for a break.

I generally don't favor banning things, but I see precious little benefit in "legal" sized paper.

I think we should require drivers of vehicles to stop even when there is no other vehicle anywhere near the intersection.   cheeky    [I've just recently heard, but haven't checked it out,  that it's common for highway traffic acts to specify that a legally recognized stop is for 3 seconds..... less than that and a stop never actually happened.]

Edit: Back in the day, I found this program relatively entertaining:   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_Is_the_Law

Edited by - Owen on 11/29/2021 06:47:24

Nov 29, 2021 - 6:45:04 AM
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10681 posts since 8/22/2006

Maybe enforcing the laws “already on the books” might be a beneficial law.

Nov 29, 2021 - 6:49:37 AM

7416 posts since 9/5/2006

the "this is how we do it where i am from" law

the penalty :


 

Nov 29, 2021 - 7:00:35 AM
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133 posts since 10/3/2012

Constitution amendment…
Congress shall pass no law which does not apply to congress.

Nov 29, 2021 - 7:07:20 AM

1487 posts since 9/6/2019

As an expansion to your rule #1: It shall be illegal to display any holiday item for sale until the expiration of the preceding holiday. Ie, no displaying of Christmas items in July. There are a few other holidays that deserve equal billing between July and December.

Also, when I'm looking for a Halloween costume I don't want to dig through snowmen and tinsel to find it.

Nov 29, 2021 - 7:11:23 AM
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15368 posts since 12/2/2005

Capital punishment is abolished, except for the people behind car warranty robocalls. For them, maximum penalty mandatory on the first offense.

Nov 29, 2021 - 7:16:05 AM
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133 posts since 10/3/2012

Amendment to the previous post.
People behind car warranty robo calls, and Medicare part C commercials, shall be sentenced to a minimum of 20 years in prison doing nothing but listening to robo calls and Medicare part C commercials.

Sentence is doubled if Medicare part C spokesperson has a net worth exceeding $10 million.

Nov 29, 2021 - 7:22:29 AM
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1487 posts since 9/6/2019

Amendment to the previous post:
The "Final attempt to contact" notice is a binding legal document and said company is prohibited from attempts to contact after the "final notice" is issued.

(I got three "final attempts to contact" from the same company in the space of a week.)

Also, medicare callers who contact someone who is too young to even register for medicare receives two lashes for each year. (In my case that would be 28 lashes since I can sign up for another 14 years.)

Nov 29, 2021 - 8:09:46 AM
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Texasbanjo (Moderator)

USA

26713 posts since 8/3/2003
Online Now

A law that prohibits anyone without a valid driver's license or insurance from owning, buying or driving a car. And an amendment to the current law on a way to enforce it.

Nov 29, 2021 - 8:24:39 AM
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banjo bill-e

Tuvalu

11808 posts since 2/22/2007

I would certainly implement the coffee laws. Coffee Law #1 It will be a felony for a diner to combine the remaining old burnt coffee with the fresh pot that is brewing. #2 It will be felony to pour fresh regular coffee into any container having traces of the godless Hazelnut variety. #3 it will be felony to make, brew, or possess the godless hazelnut flavored coffee. #4 it will be felony to serve decaf to any unsuspecting customer in need of their caffeine fix.

Nov 29, 2021 - 8:40:23 AM

58633 posts since 12/14/2005

I get at least one ad a week in my e-mail, for stuff for my dog.
The dog is quite thoroughly dead.
Has been for a few years.
The sender is blocked, but another sender picks up, and the stupidity continues.
Perhaps if the people who sent those ads were to have at least ONE limb amputated and fed to dogs at a shelter, they'd be VERY careful not to send dog ads to dogless people.

Nov 29, 2021 - 8:41:23 AM
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phb

Germany

3113 posts since 11/8/2010

Anyone not collecting their dog's droppings outside their own property will be dropped in a pool full of dog poo.

Nov 29, 2021 - 8:58:43 AM
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15368 posts since 12/2/2005

quote:
Originally posted by banjo bill-e

I would certainly implement the coffee laws. Coffee Law #1 It will be a felony for a diner to combine the remaining old burnt coffee with the fresh pot that is brewing. #2 It will be felony to pour fresh regular coffee into any container having traces of the godless Hazelnut variety. #3 it will be felony to make, brew, or possess the godless hazelnut flavored coffee. #4 it will be felony to serve decaf to any unsuspecting customer in need of their caffeine fix.


Especially items #2 and #3, wth the following amendment to #2:

"It shall be a felony to brew godless Hazelnut variety of coffee into any carafe that hasn't been 1) fully washed, 2) sterilized in an autoclave, 3) sandblasted) and 4) rinsed again. Further, it shall be a felony to pour fresh regular coffee into any other container having traces of the godless Hazelnut variety."

I mean... c'mon, people. If God meant coffee to taste like hazelnuts, He would have given us a bottle of Frangelico.

Edited by - eagleisland on 11/29/2021 08:59:05

Nov 29, 2021 - 9:07:13 AM
Players Union Member

rinemb

USA

14265 posts since 5/24/2005

There should be a law against riding powered scooters on sidewalks....Oh yeah, there is! But you would not know that observing scooters in Wichita.

Brad

Nov 29, 2021 - 9:10:16 AM
Players Union Member

rinemb

USA

14265 posts since 5/24/2005

There ought to be a law against making laws that will not be adequately enforced. I am sorry to report that too many folks are: A-holes, B-holes, jerks, careless, stupid, don't give a cr@p, criminal, etc...Not all, not most, but too dang many.
Brad

Nov 29, 2021 - 9:20:04 AM

ChunoTheDog

Canada

1181 posts since 8/9/2019

quote:
Originally posted by kww

Leaf blowers could only be operated after breaking them in by simulating colonoscopies on the owner.


The most boomer thing i've read all year.

Nov 29, 2021 - 10:08:43 AM

kww

USA

1480 posts since 6/21/2008

quote:
Originally posted by ChunoTheDog
quote:
Originally posted by kww

Leaf blowers could only be operated after breaking them in by simulating colonoscopies on the owner.


The most boomer thing i've read all year.


I put my money where my mouth is ... When I hire a lawn service, I offer extra money if they agree not to use them.

Nov 29, 2021 - 10:18:33 AM

banjo bill-e

Tuvalu

11808 posts since 2/22/2007

When I moved to a downtown highrise I got a lot of questions about noise, and yes, downtown can be noisy with sirens and loud motorcycles and people yelling at all hours. But I never once got woken by a blower or mower or trimmer at 6:ooAM on a weekend morning, as happened quite often in the burbs. Pick your poison.

Nov 29, 2021 - 11:19:37 AM

Texasbanjo (Moderator)

USA

26713 posts since 8/3/2003
Online Now

quote:
Originally posted by kww
quote:
Originally posted by ChunoTheDog
quote:
Originally posted by kww

Leaf blowers could only be operated after breaking them in by simulating colonoscopies on the owner.


The most boomer thing i've read all year.


I put my money where my mouth is ... When I hire a lawn service, I offer extra money if they agree not to use them.


I use my leaf blower all the time.  It blows all the leaves up in a pile for me so I can use the lawnmower to mulch them and put the mulch on my flowerbeds over the wintertime.  

Don't know what your beef is with leaf blowers, but I wouldn't be without mine.  

As an aside:  I do NOT blow leaves into the street where they end up in someone else's yard.

Nov 29, 2021 - 11:36:16 AM

7416 posts since 9/5/2006

quote:
Originally posted by Texasbanjo
quote:
Originally posted by kww
quote:
Originally posted by ChunoTheDog
quote:
Originally posted by kww

Leaf blowers could only be operated after breaking them in by simulating colonoscopies on the owner.


The most boomer thing i've read all year.


I put my money where my mouth is ... When I hire a lawn service, I offer extra money if they agree not to use them.


I use my leaf blower all the time.  It blows all the leaves up in a pile for me so I can use the lawnmower to mulch them and put the mulch on my flowerbeds over the wintertime.  

Don't know what your beef is with leaf blowers, but I wouldn't be without mine.  

As an aside:  I do NOT blow leaves into the street where they end up in someone else's yard.


i would nancy but ain't no yard close enough to do that for me,,,,  i love trees but them leaves in the fall ,,,oh baby !!!!

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