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May 13, 2021 - 7:53:08 PM

mander

USA

4617 posts since 10/7/2007

I live in what I believe is called row houses? Or row apartments? We each have our own postage stamp sized back yard that is separated from each other by an old good neighbor fence. There are gates between the yards so the land lord can came through and mow the lawns, for those who have them. I tore mine out because the yard is too small to have lawn. That is neither here nor there. Since I live at the end of the row, and since my fence was falling down anyway, I also tore the fence between my yard and the parking lot out just prior to the window guys coming in to replace the window so they could have an easier time of it. So, no fence, no gate, at my end of it. I like it that way.

Several weeks ago, my neighbor's mother was visiting and she asked if her son could walk through my yard with a load of whatever because it was heavy and a shorter way to get to his car. Sure. I knew I was opening a flood gate, but I thought so, what? And sure enough, once became all the time. And, since he likes the cute co-eds who live next door to him, it wasn't long before they started cutting through his yard and then my back yard as well. Currently, with the exception of the curmudgeon at the end of the line, everyone wanders through my yard. That, I don't mind.

Well, my sons are planning on building me an arbor. I am considering getting a few chairs and a table so that once the arbor is up, my son and I can sit in the shade in the back yard.

I know my neighbor's mother will come over and ask if she can join us. I know I will say "sure." I know at some point, she'll ask if she can come by and invite her friends because I have shade and her son's yard doesn't. Do you see where this is headed?

The problem I have with the entire hood sitting under my back arbor is... none of them play the banjo!

Is it neighborly to say, "Sure, you can sit in the shade of my back yard, but you're got to pluck some strings to do so" ?

May 13, 2021 - 8:49:55 PM

lapsteel

Canada

540 posts since 8/13/2015

Can you put a retractable canvas awning on the arbor? Retract it when you’re not out there....or get a pit bull.

May 13, 2021 - 11:15:12 PM

Paul R

Canada

14498 posts since 1/28/2010

Install a toll gate.

May 14, 2021 - 12:39:02 AM

26 posts since 4/8/2021

"Oh boy you know what, I just got a letter from the landlord telling me that tearing down my fence and gate was a violation of my rental agreement, and that he was going to start charging a monthly fee until it was back up since there has been such a big increase of traffic through my yard. Now I know he wouldn't admit this to anyone because he is so nice, but I'm going to have to put all of that back up. I hope your son and his friends don't mind going around from now on. By the way I hope you like banjo because I'm going to be having a bluegrass meetup for people who play instruments, don't have that much room, have you ever thought of learning to play the banjo?"

Bam! It's the old "I'd love to but my mom would never let me." trick.

May 14, 2021 - 4:48:49 AM
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Texasbanjo (Moderator)

USA

25927 posts since 8/3/2003

Sounds like you opened the gate (literally) and now the only way to close it is to re-fence and have a gate that will lock. Maybe your landlord would help with the cost of a new fence (after all, it would help upgrade his property). Just a thought.

May 14, 2021 - 5:44:45 AM
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3547 posts since 4/29/2012

May 14, 2021 - 6:28:12 AM

m06

England

10022 posts since 10/5/2006

I don’t see how our opinions about your sharing your back yard (or not) are relevant?

If you’re good with it that’s fine.

If you’re not good with it that’s fine too.

No need to go against what you feel. Just politely express how you want things to be. That’s being a good neighbour.

Edited by - m06 on 05/14/2021 06:34:36

May 14, 2021 - 10:50:08 AM

Owen

Canada

8612 posts since 6/5/2011

quote:
Originally posted by mander

Is it neighborly to say, "Sure, you can sit in the shade of my back yard, but you're got to pluck some strings to do so" ?


Our three closest neighbors have Ukrainian/Polish/??? blood somewhere in their backgrounds.  I would consider it decidedly UN-neighborly IF one of them invited me over with the stipulation that I bring/play my tsymbaly.  wink

 

Edited by - Owen on 05/14/2021 10:56:08

May 14, 2021 - 1:31:39 PM

4078 posts since 12/6/2009

you should research the laws regarding people using your yard as a pathway through to get from point A to B.....it could become a right of way or an easement someday...... In our town years ago retired Catholic Priests from a home used pathways to access a river location for walks. They used those paths for over hundred years. When the land was sold to a developer it took the law and money to get that right of way removed so the developer could start accessing to build his development. Another town situation, there was a 20 acre estate with a mansion high on a hill. the owner had built a road way through the property for the purpose of being able to leave in any direction. soon the towns people were using it as a short cut without permission.. He was advised he had to block it off at least once per year for a given amount of time. he did that for 45 years.....they sold land eventually and individual housing were being built on property. they had to get law to erase that right of way deterrent before they could be used to the public freely.....lots of stories about right of way and easements.

May 14, 2021 - 8:32:16 PM
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Paul R

Canada

14498 posts since 1/28/2010

Depends upon what the fence is for. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-o9dYwro_Q

May 14, 2021 - 9:09:49 PM
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57397 posts since 12/14/2005

"Mander Gorbacov, tear down that fence!"

May 15, 2021 - 7:21:40 AM

74531 posts since 5/9/2007

Watch out,Mander.You might make some new friends.
Put up a bad minton net and see what transpires,imo or put the fence back like it was.

May 15, 2021 - 11:30:05 AM
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Paul R

Canada

14498 posts since 1/28/2010

quote:
Originally posted by overhere

you should research the laws regarding people using your yard as a pathway through to get from point A to B.....it could become a right of way or an easement someday...... In our town years ago retired Catholic Priests from a home used pathways to access a river location for walks. They used those paths for over hundred years. When the land was sold to a developer it took the law and money to get that right of way removed so the developer could start accessing to build his development. Another town situation, there was a 20 acre estate with a mansion high on a hill. the owner had built a road way through the property for the purpose of being able to leave in any direction. soon the towns people were using it as a short cut without permission.. He was advised he had to block it off at least once per year for a given amount of time. he did that for 45 years.....they sold land eventually and individual housing were being built on property. they had to get law to erase that right of way deterrent before they could be used to the public freely.....lots of stories about right of way and easements.


Well, that's a good point. When we moved into our Toronto house in '82, we found that the fence on our south side was over on our side. Then we learned that the crazy old lady had a crew come in and, when her neighbours on either side of her were away, had their fences torn down and put up fences well over on their sides of the property. She must have taken about eighteen inches of ours. After a number of years that would have become her property. We consulted with four lawyers, informally. The last one said that, although he cautioned it wasn't legal advice, if it were his situation, he'd just tear down the fence and put one up on the property line. So we got together with the neighbours on her other side, had a survey done and, when she was away on a Labour Day weekend, tore down her chain link fence, rolled it up and put it in her yard, and erected a pressure-treated wooden fence on the property line. I made a small gate where the fence met our house. She scrawled something on it in marker, which I sanded off. That was the end of that issue. I'm glad we did what we did. We preserved both properties and avoided any legal mess when it came time to sell. She was a scammer and a nutcase. There are things I could tell about her but there isn't room here. Watch what you allow, it could come back to bite you legally.

May 15, 2021 - 12:40:35 PM

74531 posts since 5/9/2007

Rights of way are maintained by closing them for a 24 hour period,once a year.

May 15, 2021 - 5:57:22 PM

Paul R

Canada

14498 posts since 1/28/2010

There are similar laws throughout North America, but it's best to check local ordinances/by-laws. You never know when something will be different - the exception to the rule.

Our across the street neighbours in Toronto had an electrician who said his work was up to code - in the next municipality west. It wasn't good enough for Toronto, though.

May 16, 2021 - 5:55:28 AM

74531 posts since 5/9/2007

Codes are different here depending on the State and even Town.

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