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Apr 3, 2021 - 6:41 AM
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57187 posts since 12/14/2005

These are 2 of mine


Apr 3, 2021 - 12:06:21 PM

10062 posts since 8/22/2006

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Ester
Ester who?

what does a jelly bean and Easter have in common?

nothing but the jelly bean sure taste good..

Edited by - 5B-Ranch on 04/03/2021 12:09:28

Apr 3, 2021 - 12:21:26 PM
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Players Union Member

OM45GE

USA

106324 posts since 11/7/2007

A Sunday school teacher was getting upset that her young students didn't understand the meaning of Easter. They were saying it meant things like decorating eggs, chocolate treats, egg hunts and family meals.

Finally one little girl said she knew the real meaning of Easter and explained that Jesus had been crucified by Pontius Pilate and put in a tomb. The teacher encouraged her to go on and the girl said after three days Jesus came out of the tomb and if he sees his shadow we have four more weeks of winter.

Apr 3, 2021 - 2:01:56 PM
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Bill Rogers (Moderator)

USA

24637 posts since 6/25/2005

Not for publication—Certainly not here.

Apr 3, 2021 - 3:20:33 PM
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mander

USA

4595 posts since 10/7/2007

My husband's favorite Easter joke:
A priest commented on a young girl's beautiful Easter dress. The girl replied, "Yes, it's pretty, but my mother says it's a b*tch to iron."

Apr 3, 2021 - 4:43:55 PM

Owen

Canada

8396 posts since 6/5/2011

A cousin of mine who snowbirding in FL put one one Facebook earlier today. She asks if 3 or 4 friends would like to join her in a helicopter junket: fly to ____ ; go for a short cruise on a yacht; back to _____ for some other socializing; dinner at ______;  helicopter back to (city of  departiure).  And then  she tops it off with: "This will work much better if you're a friend with a helicopter or yacht."

Note: She has considerably more $$$ than me, and that's a factor in making the joke 'work.'  IF it was my invitation it would probably be asking if anybody wanted to join me in going out to the pasture to shoot gophers.   wink

Apr 3, 2021 - 7:04:32 PM
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Lynne (Moderator)

USA

5133 posts since 3/3/2003

Why does the easter bunny hide the eggs?

He doesn't want anyone to know he has been fooling around with a chicken

Apr 3, 2021 - 8:46:52 PM

Paul R

Canada

14336 posts since 1/28/2010

Whose bright idea was it to put rabbits in charge of egg distribution?

Apr 3, 2021 - 11:36:13 PM

Bill Rogers (Moderator)

USA

24637 posts since 6/25/2005

Beats pigs.

Apr 4, 2021 - 12:07:49 AM
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Players Union Member

janolov

Sweden

41027 posts since 3/7/2006

A parishioner was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands.
He grabbed the parishioner by the hand and pulled him aside.
The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"
The parishioner replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."
Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"
He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."

Apr 4, 2021 - 12:09:41 AM
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Players Union Member

janolov

Sweden

41027 posts since 3/7/2006

My parents accused me of being a liar.
I looked them in the face and said, ''Tooth fairy, Santa, Easter Bunny'', then I walked away like a boss.

Apr 4, 2021 - 12:51:04 AM

figmo59

USA

33167 posts since 3/5/2008

quote:
Originally posted by Owen

A cousin of mine who snowbirding in FL put one one Facebook earlier today. She asks if 3 or 4 friends would like to join her in a helicopter junket: fly to ____ ; go for a short cruise on a yacht; back to _____ for some other socializing; dinner at ______;  helicopter back to (city of  departiure).  And then  she tops it off with: "This will work much better if you're a friend with a helicopter or yacht."

Note: She has considerably more $$$ than me, and that's a factor in making the joke 'work.'  IF it was my invitation it would probably be asking if anybody wanted to join me in going out to the pasture to shoot gophers.   wink


I'm in...!

 

 

 

 

On the gopher thing.... ;0)

Apr 4, 2021 - 12:53:59 AM

figmo59

USA

33167 posts since 3/5/2008

quote:
Originally posted by Lynne

Why does the easter bunny hide the eggs?

He doesn't want anyone to know he has been fooling around with a chicken


Humph....

Might be truer...

Than you know... :0/

Apr 4, 2021 - 4:57:43 PM

bubbalouie

Canada

14994 posts since 9/27/2007

Apr 4, 2021 - 5:12 PM

3373 posts since 4/22/2018
Online Now

quote:
Originally posted by Owen

 

Note: She has considerably more $$$ than me, and that's a factor in making the joke 'work.'  IF it was my invitation it would probably be asking if anybody wanted to join me in going out to the pasture to shoot gophers.   wink


What time do we leave?

Apr 18, 2021 - 5:17:49 PM

145 posts since 9/23/2019

It’s best if I don’t share mine.

Apr 19, 2021 - 4:25 AM

J e f f

USA

3562 posts since 12/16/2009

The joke's on the devil.

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